Gay people throwing Anti-Pride Party....am I overreacting??

  • SCgradStud

    Posts: 88

    Sep 09, 2010 9:49 PM GMT
    I've been having a hard time trying to comprehend why a friend of mine would host an anti-pride party considering the fact that he's gay and living with his boyfriend (who also was all for it). I try to think of it more about delivering a message to the pride committee members here which I can understand (long story, and this post is not about bashing local committee's or it's members). Also the gay community here isn't exactly the most supportive when it comes to their own establishments. Which is why there is no gay dance club and the most popular gay bar is the L Word, and a straight bars "alternative night" every Friday. The lesbians are more fun than the gay men when it comes to having a good time here. Seriously.
    Anyway...my point is I understand being against a lot of the gay culture here, but am I crazy in feeling like someone who is anti-pride is homophobic and anti-gay rights no matter what party of the country or world they live in????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2010 10:27 PM GMT
    I wonder what goes through their heads and what will go on at the "anti-pride" party?
    Readings from the bible?
    poetry competition?
    What do they have for drinks? Water and lemonade?
    Featured speaker will be an Ex-Gay? Catholic Priest? GOP-drone?
    Music played will be hymns and gregorian chorals?

  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Sep 09, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    Honey, you're in South Carolina. That's the problem.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Sep 09, 2010 10:44 PM GMT
    Kidding.

    But seriously. I think the reason your friend and others want to have an anti-pride party is not out of homophobia, but by the way they feel homosexuality is represented. They see the half-naked men, the booty shakin', and the drug abuse and see that as encapsulating the definition of gay pride.

    I'd say they are ignorant to allow the images they see to define what gay pride means. Nobody defines you but you. They too can come to pride and come as they are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    creature saidHoney, you're in South Carolina. That's the problem.
    You got that right! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 09, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    What does anti-pride mean? They are ashamed of being gay? Not proud? They have self-hate? If it's meant to oppose mardi-gras-like pride excesses (which are by no means the rule in the US), why not name it better?

    I think we must wait to see the nature of this puzzling event, and speculation is just that. But I would suspect it will have a conservative Christian, right-wing political theme to it. Please let us know if you find out. Unless it has already happened -- the OP does not make that clear. What is/was the date?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 10, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    Yes, you are over reacting. I am a little confused. I thought this was America and that you are entitled to your own opinion. Anyhow, I agree with creature. I think maybe they had the party because they see the pride as a negative event. I don't think they hate being gay or are self loathing. I really and truly believe that they were doing the party strictly to show that they do not support pride because of what it represents to them. Personally, I feel the same way. I feel the pride showcases the wrong message and we as gay, bi, lesbian, and others are to ever be accepted the pride is definitely not the way to go
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc said...pride is definitely not the way to go

    What IS the way to go?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 10, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    tuffguyndc said...pride is definitely not the way to go

    What IS the way to go?
    The way to go is have a convention. Provide forums and do marches for equal rights but not with your ass hanging out and half naked. I am not saying do not have fun but have parties at clubs and bars. Do it the way, that the national black caucus do it. Or any other groups that wants to be heard. That is how you do it Art Deco. Those are the ways that you get people to respect you as a individual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    SCgradStud saidI've been having a hard time trying to comprehend why a friend of mine would host an anti-pride party considering the fact that he's gay and living with his boyfriend (who also was all for it). I try to think of it more about delivering a message to the pride committee members here which I can understand (long story, and this post is not about bashing local committee's or it's members). Also the gay community here isn't exactly the most supportive when it comes to their own establishments. Which is why there is no gay dance club and the most popular gay bar is the L Word, and a straight bars "alternative night" every Friday. The lesbians are more fun than the gay men when it comes to having a good time here. Seriously.
    Anyway...my point is I understand being against a lot of the gay culture here, but am I crazy in feeling like someone who is anti-pride is homophobic and anti-gay rights no matter what party of the country or world they live in????



    the expression, "cutting your nose to spite your face" comes to mind.

    while the intention i can understand, the choice of battle is completely incorrect. pick and chose your battles, but make sure that there is something to actually win. doesn't ANYONE read sun tzu anymore? icon_neutral.gif
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Sep 10, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    I suppose it depends on what the point or message is. Any idea what his motivation or reason is behind this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 1:34 AM GMT
    I typically bail on pride as well. Rather than watch a bunch of twinks run around in underwear, I like to go camping and cliff diving in the White Mountains with friends. We show our pride by living our daily lives as usual. A few of my friends show it by getting married, or being in a relationship.

    Contradiction time: I went to pride in Denver for the first time this year, as I'd just moved to CO the week before. The parade was okay; nothing crazy. I had a good time, but would have rather been in NH camping with friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc said
    Art_Deco said
    tuffguyndc said...pride is definitely not the way to go

    What IS the way to go?
    The way to go is have a convention. Provide forums and do marches for equal rights but not with your ass hanging out and half naked. I am not saying do not have fun but have parties at clubs and bars. Do it the way, that the national black caucus do it. Or any other groups that wants to be heard. That is how you do it Art Deco. Those are the ways that you get people to respect you as a individual.

    The element your model omits is that of being closeted. I'm not aware of Blacks being closeted and hiding their identities from the general community, nor from each other.

    An important goal of the first pride parades was to be deliberately SEEN, both by other gays and by straights. To encourage the closeted ones to come out if they could, and if they couldn't, then to at least be aware they aren't alone and part of a real community. And to let the straights now that we exist in every walk of life, and aren't afraid to show ourselves, and claim our rights as citizens.

    You can't do that in an enclosed convention hall -- you do it by marching out in broad daylight for everyone to see. And that's what the first Black civil rights marchers did. And THEN they also held a convention.

    I never liked the mardi-gras exhibitionism in some parades myself, and wish that aspect would go away. But I've also never personally participated in one where a guy had his "ass hanging out." In fact, most have been closer to a traditional Main Street USA Fourth of July parade, only with gay themes and gay organizations represented.

    Plus it is indeed a joyful celebration, of who we are, enjoying our own company. So that many include block parties, and Pride Fests with vendors, and countless other activities. At Twin Cities Pride in Loring Park, for instance, the local MCC sets up a small chapel by the lake and performs commitment ceremonies. Cruises are scheduled during the preceding week along the Mississippi. It's not just a few hours of parade, but a week of celebration.

    I see no reason why it should be curtailed, and certainly not criticized. And if you saw or participated in some of the prides that I have, I don't think you would criticize them, either. Rather, I think you might be marching right alongside me.
  • SCgradStud

    Posts: 88

    Sep 10, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    I think everyone has some very valid points. I understand how a lot of gay men don't want to associate with the image most pride celebrations portray. Half naked men, some in leather, parading around with rainbow feather boas, and lots and lots of drag. But those same people sit quietly at home, keep to themselves, and maintain a hidden existence from their own community as well as their lifestyle.

    I believe their motivation was purely out of spite towards the pride committee and even more the owners of the bar hosting the after party. But what on earth was going through their head when deciding to call it anti pride?? Pride month is all about visibility within the community. Showing the rest of the country that we exist and we are not second class citizens. No one who is gay should let petty bitterness towards gay business owners hide their lifestyle. I know the problem is that this is SC. A state where not even the gay residents support the gay lifestyle. Geez I can not wait to get the hell away from here.
  • SCgradStud

    Posts: 88

    Sep 10, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    creature saidHoney, you're in South Carolina. That's the problem.
    You got that right! icon_lol.gif



    Www.canIgetaAmen.com

    That indeed is the problem
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    An Ant-Pride party? Well, it's about time! Ants have a lot to be proud of! Just look at all they've accomplished! Collective action on a massive scale! Millions of anthills! Unparalleled efficiency! And furthermore...



    Wait, what?

    Oh. Never mind.
  • SCgradStud

    Posts: 88

    Sep 10, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    MenschPress saidAn Ant-Pride party? Well, it's about time! Ants have a lot to be proud of! Just look at all they've accomplished! Collective action on a massive scale! Millions of anthills! Unparalleled efficiency! And furthermore...

    Wait, what?

    Oh. Never mind.


    Thanks for pointing that out smart ass. ;-p
    Fixed it so now your post seems like random silly nonsense. (just messing with ya)
  • scorpiodncr

    Posts: 185

    Sep 10, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    Just for a different perspective, here is an event that runs annually in London on the same day as Pride there:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_Shame

    I was never interested in it...it always looked a bit 'arty farty' and pretentious. Say what you want...I'd rather go to a party where guys dance and show a little skin and flirt...and have fun, fer crissakes.

    Go to any gay pride parade and/or festival in a big city (like London) and you realize that the gay community is made up of all kinds of people...there were even gay muslim and buddhist groups, gay political conservatives, you name it. Not sure if this will work, but for contrast here's the url to a facebook photo album showing the 2010 parade:
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=203683&id=317537277359
    Yep, there's the half naked bods, the leather, the drag...but also gay organizations representing the military, law enforcement, fire brigades, EMT's, religious organizations, political organizations, labor unions, youth and student organizations...shall I go on?

    But then I suppose we also need to include the folks who are behind Gay Shame...even if I (or you) don't understand it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:10 AM GMT
    hmm..... I can guess that the list of the uninvited is quite long.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:10 AM GMT
    It's called self-loathing. It's disgusting and unfortunate. Don't buy into it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:12 AM GMT
    Pride lost it's meaning long ago. Have you been to a parade lately? It's a bunch of businesses paying little circuit and gym bois to dance on their floats advertising whatever they are selling. Granted, it's interspersed with legitimate protesters such as Dykes on Bikes or the local gay law enforcement personnel.

    While the parades are not nearly as bad as the complainers make them out to be (there are infinitely more inappropriate straight events), the message has been lost in my opinion.

    I do, however, tend to enjoy the festivals, which are more about the message, and less about who was strict with their carbs for the last three months.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    lol, I was just imagining a christmas parade where the only thing to see in the parade are dark robed head-bowed praying people, endless endless numbers of them in a long 45 minute parade. Yay! What fun! How exciting! A christmas parade! Let's all go! We'll take pictures! icon_rolleyes.gif

    -Doug

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:23 AM GMT
    Though I can't speak for the OP's friend, SDG has got it close at least when it comes to the anti pride stuff in my home town. I know many activist groups and radical queer groups which throw alterna-pride days and anti pride events. The reason for this is because they feel that pride has been corrupted. There was a point when pride was in commemoration of the stonewall riots, you know, the day we fought the fuck back against the cops? The idea of pride is supposed to be about fighting in solidarity for our own rights as the GLBT community but also about standing in solidarity with other oppressed peoples (re: anti apartheid activism in the 80s). Pride is now about selling gay cruises to Double-income-no-kids bourgeois gay men, or selling luxury condos which are built on the demolished low income housing and gentrified urban neighborhoods.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    meninlove said lol, I was just imagining a christmas parade where the only thing to see in the parade are dark robed head-bowed praying people, endless endless numbers of them in a long 45 minute parade. Yay! What fun! How exciting! A christmas parade! Let's all go! We'll take pictures! icon_rolleyes.gif

    -Doug

    Anti-Pride Parade:

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2010 2:33 AM GMT
    Lets face it, those gay pride marches may give exposure, but they also do a lot of damage too. Maybe an Anti pride party is in reaction, and opposition to all the damage gay pride things do. Lets face it they do seem to promote public drug fueled orgies, and people use them as an excuse to act out, and be bad. Where is the love in that?