Riddle me this...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2008 8:57 PM GMT
    Can you cry under water?


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    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?




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    Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


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    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?




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    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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    What disease did cured ham actually have?




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    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?




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    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?




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    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




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    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?




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    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?




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    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.




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    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?




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    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?




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    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




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    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?




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    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




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    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!




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    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




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    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?




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    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




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    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




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    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?




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    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?




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    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Feb 26, 2008 9:24 PM GMT
    What do you do when everyone tells you not to give into peer pressure?
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    Feb 26, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    What is long and thin,
    covered with skin and
    only god knows how many holes its been in?




    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


    What is round as an apple, shaped like a pear
    split in the middle, surrounded by hair
    and water comes out?






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 12:34 AM GMT
    OK, you guys have WAY too much time on your hands! Damn, I love some of those. Such things to ponder while I have nothing else to do. No wonder I don't sleep at night! Thanks guys.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 27, 2008 12:36 AM GMT
    Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 12:44 AM GMT
    Does an insomniac, dyslexic atheist stay up all night, wondering if there really is a dog?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 3:35 AM GMT
    Girl Scout: Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

    Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 3:46 AM GMT
    How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:30 AM GMT
    Q: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
    A: Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

    (It was very funny when Mike Rowe told it on Dirty Jobs...I think it needs good delivery).
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    Feb 27, 2008 6:21 AM GMT
    Why is it called a HISterectomy and not a HERtorectomy?

    Since we give male and female names to storms, why are all of them hurricanes and none are himicanes?

    If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Feb 27, 2008 7:16 AM GMT

    why does sour cream have an expiration date?

    why are green olives in a jar...but black olives in a can?

    hmmm...icon_neutral.gif

    - David
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    Feb 27, 2008 4:42 PM GMT
    lol nice ones guys
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
    Just because I have nothing better to do today, let me respond to some of the original questions posed by our friend lilmaninsc:

    >Can you cry under water?
    I guess... never tried though.

    >How important does a person have to be before they are considered
    >assassinated instead of just murdered?
    I always thought 'assassinate' was a term reserved for heads of state. It's not unusual... the Japanese use a special word to describe the natural death of the Emperor, and that word "hogyo" can ONLY be used to describe the death of teh Emperor.


    >Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your
    >thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
    Not sure where the extra penny is going, per se... but people will always look for the bargain, that's why they ask less for thought, but offer more for their own. Call it the cost of doing business.


    >Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in
    >for eternity?
    Hope not.


    >Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    Who cares?


    >What disease did cured ham actually have?
    Pig flu.


    >How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
    >good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    I think it stands to reason that at the time, we were trying to outdo the Soviets, and while wheels on luggage would have been noteworthy, we would have been pretty pissed off if the Soviets had gotten to the moon first.


    >Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every
    >two hours?
    I always wondered that myself.



    >If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    No, it's called a "you're-a-smartass-lilmaninsc!"


    >Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
    Movies last longer? I dunno.


    >Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to
    >look at things on the ground?
    Because a fool and his money soon part ways.


    >Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
    >naked anyway.
    Next question, please!


    >Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
    Hmmmm... now there's one for the linguists.


    >Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
    >which no decent human being would eat?
    It's for the indecent human beings.


    >If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
    First, it doesn't say "Jimmy crack corn and no one cares".... the song says "Jimmy crack corn and _I_ don't care." Second.. the song is actually about "My Master" who's gone away and the "blue-tail fly."



    >Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
    Sure, if he's a sick-ass mo-fo!



    >If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't >he fix a hole in a boat?
    This one has puzzled people for decades. All I can say is that the Professor, like most academics I know, have been educated beyond their capacity to think.


    >Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    One of them is living an "alternative lifestyle." As a gay man, I think you'd be more accepting of this!


    >If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
    >just buy dinner?
    Who said he _has_ the money? I'd think he's buying on credit.


    >If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is
    >baby oil made from?
    Duh! Babies!


    >If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    I'd be inclined to say so, since morality is such a heated topic but is entirely subjective.


    >Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    They do! Know who wrote that song?
    Mozart!


    >Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
    I didn't.


    >Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a
    >hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
    Next question, please!


    >Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but
    >when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    I never did notice that. I don't blow in my dog's face, though.
    But then again, I think the same can be said for people.... give it a try if you think I am wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:19 PM GMT
    Now here's a riddle for you....

    What is greater than God,
    more evil than the Devil,
    the poor have it,
    the rich need it,
    and if you eat it you could die?


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    Feb 27, 2008 5:29 PM GMT
    hmm, no idea. lol. shed some light?
    those that I posted were just random ones I found in a bulletin on myspace, thought some of you might like it so I shared icon_smile.gif
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Feb 27, 2008 5:31 PM GMT
    Sahem,

    I think the answer is "nothing"
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
    joggerva saidSahem,

    I think the answer is "nothing"


    Ding ding! Correct!
    You win an all-expense-paid trip to Oberlin, OH!
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:34 PM GMT
    Lol, that was a good one.. wish I woulda got it.. I'm kinda slow today though icon_razz.gif
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Feb 27, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    Haha, along a similar line of thought:

    What is colorless and weightless, yet if you put it into a barrel, the barrel becomes lighter?
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:37 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidNow here's a riddle for you....

    What is greater than God,
    more evil than the Devil,
    the poor have it,
    the rich need it,
    and if you eat it you could die?




    the answer is... dat dat da... NOTHING!
    I'll take the toaster, Bob!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    sorry spryte.... jogger already won the free trip to Oberlin. yer S.O.L.

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    Feb 27, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    If Pro and Con are opposites, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

    Why do we pay tolls on Freeways?

    Why are cows always milked from the right side?

    If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose?

    Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

    Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?

    Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it?

    If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

    If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?

    Why is there only ONE monopolies commission?

    Why is an orange an orange but an apple not a red?

    Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street?

    What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    joggerva saidHaha, along a similar line of thought:

    What is colorless and weightless, yet if you put it into a barrel, the barrel becomes lighter?


    a hole?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:46 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 said[quote][cite]joggerva said[/cite]Haha, along a similar line of thought:

    What is colorless and weightless, yet if you put it into a barrel, the barrel becomes lighter?


    a hole?[/quote]

    I'm a bit behind today.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
    No worries, spryte.


    >If Pro and Con are opposites, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?
    In this day and age, ad in my country? ABSOLUTELY.

    >Why do we pay tolls on Freeways?
    Like I said before.... a fool and his money soon part ways.

    >Why are cows always milked from the right side?
    Is there a wrong side?

    >If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose?
    I guess I have my answerto the question above.

    >Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
    They go to the moon.

    >Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
    There should be, dammit!

    >Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky
    >and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it?
    People miss the obvious.

    >If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
    Ever see "The Truman Show?"

    >If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees
    >make fun of it?
    Only if it tripped over it's own roots.

    >Why is there only ONE monopolies commission?
    Don't worry... someone's monitoring them... I hope.

    >Why is an orange an orange but an apple not a red?
    Not all apples are red, genius!

    >Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street?
    Where the hell are you going that you see that often?

    >What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
    Don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to.