So I came out to my penis today...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    So I was like "hey penis I'm gay" and it was like "whaAAAT?!?!?" and I was like "yeah dude you've been going inside men's butts how did you not know" and it was like, "does it look like I have eyes? Thanks a lot faggot."

    How did your penis react when you came out to it? Did it cry? Did your penis try to castrate itself? Or did it smize like a drunk Tyra Banks because it knew all along?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 6:07 AM GMT
    I gave it a firm wanking, and then sent it off to someone's bed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 6:12 AM GMT
    So you jacked off before sexual intercourse?
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    Sep 11, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidSo you jacked off before sexual intercourse?


    Once or twice even, and when my gametes disembogue from my phallus and spew all over, it gets quite viscid; they can just lick it clean. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 6:35 AM GMT
    hA HA HA...good use of GRE words! You are pro. Super pro. I give you gold star bro.
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Sep 11, 2010 8:26 AM GMT
    "so is it goodbye now, you and me?
    should i give myself to lesbian trannies now?", it says

    and i say "no, stupid. thats why im gay! i like dicks, you are going nowhere icon_smile.gif"

    end of discussion icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 8:34 AM GMT
    Mine already knew. They normally do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 9:44 AM GMT
    Doesn't your penis come for you? icon_twisted.gif
  • ebonymarine

    Posts: 13

    Sep 11, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    Sir William, as he is called since he is a proper penis, just carried on! This is, after all, what all British Gentlemen do!
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 11, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    give it some time; it will come around. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    I penis pressed assault charges on me for beating it too much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 4:02 PM GMT
    Actually it was my penis that was trying to tell ME for years that I was gay. It would signal me by getting hard when I saw men, especially naked ones, and by being disinterested when I saw women.

    Then one day I finally realized the truth about myself, and quickly told my dick. It responded by staying hard all day, and refusing to behave until I went right out and bought some gay porn, pending my finding the real thing. It took about 6 hours of continuous attention before it finally collapsed in exhaustion.

    It taught me an important lesson: Richard knows best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 7:08 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidActually it was my penis that was trying to tell ME for years that I was gay. It would signal me by getting hard when I saw men, especially naked ones, and by being disinterested when I saw women.

    Then one day I finally realized the truth about myself, and quickly told my dick. It responded by staying hard all day, and refusing to behave until I went right out and bought some gay porn, pending my finding the real thing. It took about 6 hours of continuous attention before it finally collapsed in exhaustion.

    It taught me an important lesson: Richard knows best.


    a.k.a. - "Speak softly and carry a big stick." - T.R.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 11, 2010 7:44 PM GMT
    Haven't you noticed ?
    Your penis has one eye...
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    Sep 11, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
    Well, it was after rehearsal for the musical and I was all like "cock there is something important I need to tell you". And my cock was all like "girl, if you are coming out of the closet don't even bother, 'cause everyone already fucking knows you a queen". And I was like "but I am so butch! I even sing baritone in the choir".
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Sep 11, 2010 11:11 PM GMT
    At first I thought it seemed cool with it. But I think it was one of those things where it's ok with it as long as it doesn't know the details. I started describing a hot guy's ass I was staring at in the gym today and it just got all stiff and then eventually threw up in what I can only assume to have been disgust.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    my penis turns against me sometimes though and gets hard around chicks
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Sep 12, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    Mind yes *yesss* and then he spit in my face and went to sleep
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidActually it was my penis that was trying to tell ME for years that I was gay. It would signal me by getting hard when I saw men, especially naked ones, and by being disinterested when I saw women.


    Oh my! What a twisted turn of events! Your penis knew all along and was trying to give you hints!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
    " Oh God Almighty , no more fish casserole !!!! "

    that's all i remember .
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Sep 13, 2010 6:45 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidHaven't you noticed ?
    Your penis has one eye...


    Yeah, and since I went to those medical exams, my penis is blind icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    Mine swelled up a lot and then puked. It was nice.