johnnydssa saidI'm more wanting to learn how being gay works and talk with other gays than being with someone. Thanks.
Here's what I did when I came out: I went to gay bars and watched & studied. I paid attention to who was successful, and who was not. I overheard what worked, and what failed. In effect, I sent myself back to school, and at first my goal wasn't to meet guys there, but to learn, a little "on the job training." And this is what you seem to be saying yourself.
I also learned that gay bars can each have their own "rules of engagement" and it helps to know the place. For instance, you might cruise in a leather bar one way, a twink bar another way, and a professional yuppie bar yet differently. As well as dress differently, needless to say, matching yourself to the crowd. (See my second next post down)
Another thing I'd always do when learning about a new bar was get to know the bartender, easier during less-busy hours. Then on subsequent visits I could always have someone to say hello to when I came in, and swap some words with. It often helps when guys see you appearing friendly and at home in a place, as opposed to an awkward stranger sitting glumly alone.
Always smile and appear to be having a good time, even when you're not. Guys are more attracted to a smile, than to someone who looks unhappy and even desperate. Look casually interested in the TV, even if you could care less, but don't get distracted by it, nor by any bar-top video game machines. Likewise, playing pool is sometimes counter-productive, since most of the action takes place sitting at the bar, or at cocktail tables near it.
As a former Army MP I also know the art of indirect surveillance. I APPEAR to be watching the bar TV, but I'm really watching YOU peripherally, and listening in. You won't catch me staring, but I see & hear everything, making my evaluations of the other guys in the place. To decide who I might approach and how, or what to do if he approaches me first.