Relationship without romance?

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    Sep 12, 2010 6:28 AM GMT
    Does a good relationship need romance? I guess I'm asking is because the guy I'm seeing, we get along great and enjoy each others company and have fun together and we're both really happy, but theres no real text book romance going on. He doesn't like kissing (issues with spit) which I'm ok with, there no surprise lavish dates or anything like that...even tho we're happy and all that good stuff, is this relationship doom to failure? or can a relationship thrive without romance?
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    Sep 12, 2010 12:43 PM GMT
    Stop reading romance novels or watch romantic comediesicon_exclaim.gif

    Relationships do thrive without candlelit dinners, below the balcony serenading, big bouquets of flowers, expensive gifts, rides in horse-drawn carriages etc.

    The most romantic thing is spending time together as a couple and showing your partner that you thought of him while you were apart. If there is never time for just the 2 of you, the relationship might be in trouble, but otherwise, I wouldn't worry.
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    Sep 12, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say you need romance totally to make a relationship successful, but romance is a pinch too....but a couple can be close to each other living in a room doing their own things, no talking yet being comfortable and then this romance comes out like a volcano in a person when the love thought trigger's in one mind. So don't worry too much and think too much. Just go with the flow dude.

    But then you invite him for a dinner. Since you are close to him, try knowing where he enjoys being the most. Take him to a good place. Surprise him often(not necessarily with money). If you can arrest him with all your true love, i am sure he would take a ride with you satisfying all your desires.
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    Sep 12, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    lol, when I read this, "...we get along great and enjoy each others company and have fun together and we're both really happy..."

    ...the first thing I thought was 'how romantic'. Romantic is in perception, not necessarily in an overt demonstration. Yesterday our 2nd oldest dog peed on the bed (poor guy, 14 and starting to have 'those' days, lol). I stripped it and washed everything. Bill found that romantic, as I did his scraping back all the crushed limestone on the north side of the house to accommodate the opening of a gate he built.

    -Doug

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    Sep 12, 2010 1:43 PM GMT
    If you enjoy each others company and are happy then I wouldn't worry about it. If you are happy in your relationship who cares if it doesn't meet the text book definition of what "romantic" is supposed to be.

    @ meninlove - I totally get what you wrote. One of the things I appreciate about my partner the most these days is when he goes out of his way to take care of some chore I was planning to do so.
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    Sep 12, 2010 3:27 PM GMT
    Hey sashaman!

    Here's another example. I made turkey soup from scratch. Big production; the kitchen looked like some mad scientist lab by the end of prep.

    Later Bill sat down to a bowl and smacked his lips and grinned around his spoon at the dogs staring meaningfully up at him. I looked at this while cleaning up and got a huge lump in my throat and had to blink at my suddenly blurry vision.

    -Doug
  • d_1M

    Posts: 598

    Sep 12, 2010 3:49 PM GMT
    ok i had to make sure b4 i comment cause i though what is kissing have to be with romance, i think romance starts actually even b4 the first kiss.
    so i checked this

    dictionary.com
    then romance and i found like 8 definitions with lots of crap but not once mention the work kiss a kiss or any kind of form of spit.

    so my conclusion is no its not meant for failure since kiss and romance is not related, get youre romance going on no need to kiss icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 12, 2010 5:11 PM GMT
    The kissing thing would be a deal breaker for me... you guys are fuck buddies.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Sep 12, 2010 5:16 PM GMT
    heretotalk saidDoes a good relationship need romance? I guess I'm asking is because the guy I'm seeing, we get along great and enjoy each others company and have fun together and we're both really happy, but theres no real text book romance going on. He doesn't like kissing (issues with spit) which I'm ok with, there no surprise lavish dates or anything like that...even tho we're happy and all that good stuff, is this relationship doom to failure? or can a relationship thrive without romance?



    I can only speak for myself, but a relationship without romance is no relationship that would hold my attention for very long. "Doesn't like Kissing" due to issues with spit???? I would last about a minute in that relationship. For me, part of the beauty of being in a relationship is the romance that can, and should, come with it. Without that, I'd just as soon be single and have the guy as a good friend. Just my 2 cents
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Sep 12, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    If the relationship works for the two of you and you're both happy and your needs are met, then that's all that matters. Don't compare your relationship to others.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Sep 12, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    it depends on the individuals involved....me personally....I'm the romantic type...I thrive on the kissin for hours.....the passion....without that....I lose interest fast....BUD
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Sep 12, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    I've found and I believe that true romance takes on many forms and is usually very specific to a couple. The textbook stuff is fine if you like it, but ultimately it is about finding the happy medium and enjoying being with each other. If it's right, it's right. Only when we evaluate ourselves based upon the superficial romantic things, such as movie storylines that do not happen in real life, do we find ourselves questioning things.

    Enjoy your boyfriend and your time together and forget about the Hallmark Moments and make plenty of "You" moments.
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    Sep 12, 2010 8:23 PM GMT
    sdgman saidThe kissing thing would be a deal breaker for me... you guys are fuck buddies.


    well, I can understand, I never enjoyed kissing myself.... by that definition, I would NEVER move beyond fuckbuddy

    Anyways, I think "romance" is just some fairytale.... you dont need any of that stuff lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    issues with spit? Wow. That's a new one.