Should I call...or wait for him to call me

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    I've been seeing a guy I really like for about 3 weeks. Things started off really great, and he texted me/called me first regularly, and would say stuff like he couldn't wait to hang out again, and that he had missed me. I also called/texted him and it seemed like a balanced give/take.

    Lately he's stopped calling first, and a few things have happenned that makes me think he might be losing interest. Normally that would make me want to call him more...but I haven't. I REALLY want to call him and it's killing me that I haven't talked to him in 5 days. So should I call....or just ignore him...I don't want to push him away by being too needy, but at the same time I'm afraid if I don't call he'll think I've lost interest and move on...ahhh
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    Sep 14, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    5 days seems like a good amount of time to not seem clingy or too attached. I think there's ways to call him and not seem desperate. Just ask him how he's doing, and if he's free next week.

    If he's busy he's busy, and it's probably best for you to focus on things other than him for the time being or you're just going to stress yourself out over it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    Just call him and ask him if he's still interested.
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    Sep 14, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    Just be you, if you wanna call, then call. Don't listen to people who tell you there should be a time frame. Don't you want him to like you for who you are? Just be real bro!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2010 7:01 AM GMT
    I listened to a radio show about this same topic and to be quite honest each person is different and if you feel 5 days is too long then you need to call/txt and ask about things.

    The radio show went on to mention that if they just 'really aren't that into you' then they will mention how busy they have been with nothing in particular and will call you back at an unset date. Give it a day or two after and pretty much all bets are off.

    Although it's not an exact science to the 'game' thing is every person is different. Find something that will make it easier for you in the end.

    All in all good luck man. Hope it works out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2010 7:20 AM GMT
    Somewhere there is a boy wondering why a certain Mr.SandDunes hasn't called.

    If he lost interest you will find out. If he is interested he might be pining away waiting for that call. Or maybe he is tied up in his basement while angry roustabouts make quiche. You really aren't going to know unless you call.
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    Sep 14, 2010 9:35 AM GMT
    Dude... you are a fine looking man... give him a call, I'm sure he'd be pleased to hear from you... 5 days is a long time if you've only been seeing him for 3 weeks... like the others said, he'll avoid making plans with you if he's not interested... remember you have no idea what's going on in his life, maybe he was dating two guys at the same time and the other one's been calling? who knows... good question tho, i often wonder what other people think in this situation... it's actually a sad indictment that seems to be characteristic of the gay world that someone can see someone for weeks then end it by just not calling anymore... i've been guilty of it in the past but more recently have tried not to do that... that said i'm still single... so take my advice as you see fit!
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    Sep 14, 2010 10:12 AM GMT
    call him and invite him to something specific. Not anything like "I have planned a romantic evening, you will cross the threshold at my abode and champagne will be waiting and I will be in a tuxedo..." but more like "hey I was going to go to play racquetball, do you have an interest this Thursday?" Something matter of fact with a common interest, and invite him to hang out. And just hang out. It is a great no pressure way to reconnect. Give him time to see you as a buddy, a friend, and he might like what he sees if there is no pressure for anything else. By inviting him to something that he is likely to do anyway, you are making the effort to keep it going in a non threatening way.

    If he turns you down, then just ask him up front. Just make it very matter of fact, no emotional tones. Say something like, "Hey listen, before I let you go, I just have to ask, is it that you are just too busy, or [you can tell me] are you just not interested; I am OK either way, I just don't want to waste either of our time."

    He'll let you know.

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 14, 2010 10:32 AM GMT
    There's kind of an expiration date to the texting and calling after a date
    When you first meet someone it's fun and you get some useful information from it too
    but after awhile it gets to be a chore
    because when the other guy texts or calls you feel responsible to call or text back
    When the guy starts not answering lay off the calls
    and plan another date
    because being face to face will renew the contact that you need
    .... on the other hand if he is losing interest he'll beg off on that too and you'll get your answer there as well
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2010 10:59 AM GMT
    omg, this sounds like something chicks pine over....Who cares if hes lost interest, your not going to force that back once hes lost it.
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    Sep 15, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    Just call him so you can stop fretting.