my DAD called me and told me''we need to talk''

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    Sep 18, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    but he's hurt me so much that I told you guys when he came around it was gonna be to late and i told him i didnt have anything to talk to him about and hung up.Im moving to miami soon for college(fashion school) and hopefully this is a life changer,new place,new friends,new everything.
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    Sounds like you & your dad will eventually mend the relationship...eventually.

    Till then, have fun with fashion school down here. I heard it's lots of fun. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    PRINCETONY saidbut he's hurt me so much that I told you guys when he came around it was gonna be to late and i told him i didnt have anything to talk to him about and hung up.Im moving to miami soon for college(fashion school) and hopefully this is a life changer,new place,new friends,new everything.
    Be the adult.. go ahead and call/talk to him but YOU set the rules of any possible relationship.. you might be surprised.
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:41 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSounds like you & your dad will eventually mend the relationship...eventually.

    Till then, have fun with fashion school down here. I heard it's lots of fun. icon_biggrin.gif


    I forgot your in miami lol see you there ahaha
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:41 PM GMT
    I don't know what the history here is (as long as the abuse wasn't physical, long term emotional, or sexual) everyone makes mistakes, even Dad's.
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Sep 18, 2010 4:42 PM GMT
    PRINCETONY saidbut he's hurt me so much that I told you guys when he came around it was gonna be to late and i told him i didnt have anything to talk to him about and hung up.Im moving to miami soon for college(fashion school) and hopefully this is a life changer,new place,new friends,new everything.



    Sorry, but I think you need to grow up. Parents need time to process this kind of information, and they don't always handle the "processing phase" quite as smoothly as we might have hoped. Man up and talk to your dad -- he's the only one you've got and I am sure he loves you very much.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Sep 18, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    WoW thats a hard one, since you already know how hurtful he is-your the one who has to separate yourself from the pain and the situation.. I actually know someone like that and yes i'v had to rid them of my life...Some people love the drama of hurting others, it's fucked up but it happends... Good luck in school.....icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    PRINCETONY saidbut he's hurt me so much that I told you guys when he came around it was gonna be to late and i told him i didnt have anything to talk to him about and hung up.Im moving to miami soon for college(fashion school) and hopefully this is a life changer,new place,new friends,new everything.



    Sorry, but I think you need to grow up. Parents need time to process this kind of information, and they don't always handle the "processing phase" quite as smoothly as we might have hoped. Man up and talk to your dad -- he's the only one you've got and I am sure he loves you very much.


    has your dad called you a fag,told you gays should die in front of you,kick you out of your house,ignore you at parties and tell you that your dead to him as a son,I have feelings also and im done plus im moving soon and wont see them no more.
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:46 PM GMT
    zarin saidI don't know what the history here is ...
    He came out to his dad by way of suicide attempt + suicide note that included his sexuality.
    When he got out of the hospital after the failed attempt, his dad wouldn't let him move back home.
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:50 PM GMT
    Don't bother with the old sod. (Unless you are financially dependent upon him.) If not, then get on with your life. The things he said to you are truly unforgivable! icon_eek.gif
    But if you feel the need to, once your are settled and are comfortable with your school routine, living arrangement, etc., then ring him up. But YOU set the tone/tems.
    Good luck with what ever you decide! icon_wink.gif
    Cheers,
    Keith
    icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    Too soon
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    Hey, so I think your dad might slowly be coming to his senses, but I wouldn't recommend you attempt anything to mend the relationship at this point.

    Leave them be for a while, go to Miami and focus on your own life, cause you got exiting times ahead. In due time, he might come around completely. But you gotta make him miss you a bit.

    I wish you all the best dude icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    charlitos saidToo soon


    yes,but im very excited to move to miami,i have never been to a real beach and i bet its gorgeous,im just happy to get out of the hell hole of michigan.
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Sep 18, 2010 4:56 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    zarin saidI don't know what the history here is ...
    He came out to his dad by way of suicide attempt + suicide note that included his sexuality.
    When he got out of the hospital after the failed attempt, his dad wouldn't let him move back home.



    A suicide attempt? Even more drama for one parent to process all at once. Granted, I don't know the history of their relationship over the years, but if the father is reaching out, I feel the son needs to at least meet him half-way. PrinceTony is obviously very troubled. If his father is ready to be there for him, he should probably be open to accepting that and work through this difficult stage of his life and their relationship. Not communicating doesn't help solve anything.
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidNot communicating doesn't help solve anything.
    That is correct, but I understand his reluctance to talk.
    Like I said above, it'll eventually get better.
    Only time will heal the wounds...on both sides.
  • Import

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    Sep 18, 2010 5:02 PM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif
    oh gawwwwd, another fashionista going to fashion school in miami, whose gay and doesn't get a lonng with his father.

    cliche much?


    puh-lease!
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    PRINCETONY said
    charlitos saidToo soon


    yes,but im very excited to move to miami,i have never been to a real beach and i bet its gorgeous,im just happy to get out of the hell hole of michigan.


    I dont think you have to change your plans, go talk to him, listen and give him a chance. it is unlikely he'll call to bribe you into not been gay, desinherit you or something bad. I say go talk to him, be the bigger person
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    Import saidicon_rolleyes.gif
    oh gawwwwd, another fashionista going to fashion school in miami, whose gay and doesn't get a lonng with his father.

    cliche much?


    puh-lease!
    Blame it on Versace. He's the one who started the trend. icon_razz.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Sep 18, 2010 5:07 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Only time will heal the wounds...on both sides.



    I agree to a point. However, taking into account that Tony is only 18, and a suicide attempt was involved, I think he needs his parent sooner rather than later to be there for him.
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    PRINCETONY said
    charlitos saidToo soon


    yes,but im very excited to move to miami,i have never been to a real beach and i bet its gorgeous,im just happy to get out of the hell hole of michigan.


    I Mean after all uve been through, it is too soon to have any sort of conversation with ur dad. Right now ure upset and that can't be helped so i support ur decision on giving urself some time away from him.
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Sep 18, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidBlame it on Versace. He's the one who started the trend. icon_razz.gif



    Yeah, and look where THAT got him icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    Go to Miami and get started with your new life. Let these things get a bit murky in past before you want to confront them. That way atleast the impact of the things your dad said won't be so hard and he too will know how it feels to be ignored by his own family.
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    charlitos saidI Mean after all uve been through, it is too soon to have any sort of conversation with ur dad. Right now ure upset and that can't be helped so i support ur decision on giving urself some time away from him.
    My sentiments exactly.
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:11 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    paulflexes saidBlame it on Versace. He's the one who started the trend. icon_razz.gif



    Yeah, and look where THAT got him icon_eek.gif
    Yep...shot by some trick as he walked out of his house to go to Twist (my favorite club) to pick up another trick. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 18, 2010 5:12 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    paulflexes said
    Only time will heal the wounds...on both sides.



    I agree to a point. However, taking into account that Tony is only 18, and a suicide attempt was involved, I think he needs his parent sooner rather than later to be there for him.



    I think he needs friends who accept him and he seems to be willing to start a new life. His dad led him to this point, chances are a reconciliation right now won't have enough emotional quality to keep them both from repeating the same mistakes...