How to start dating?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2010 9:39 PM GMT
    Hey guys, any tips for how to start dating for a closeted guy? I'm not planning on staying closeted forever, but want to get more comfortable with being gay before I do. I really want to start meeting gay guys my age in my area and try out the dating scene...any ideas?
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    Sep 18, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
    Manhunt ? Craig's List ? Dudes nude?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    Gay bars.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    State exactly what you want on a gay dating site. Dudesnude is head quartered in pa. You will Find there aretons of guys out there that are looking for exactly the same thing.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 19, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    Instead of Manhunt, DudesNude, Craigslist and the bars, I would do it this way, travelfan:

    You should have an LGBT center in your area that will give you a list of clubs and organizations that fit your mutual interests. Let's say if you like to run, there should be a chapter of Front Runners and Walkers in your area. If there is a group that gets together to see the Giants or 49ers play, then join up with them.

    The above may be good for one night stands, but listen to turtleneckjock, the voice of experience here.....doing a little research and finding like-minded groups, coupled with your good looks, will get you quality dates with guys you already share common interests with.

    That will work best for you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    travelfan saidHey guys, any tips for how to start dating for a closeted guy? I'm not planning on staying closeted forever, but want to get more comfortable with being gay before I do. I really want to start meeting gay guys my age in my area and try out the dating scene...any ideas?


    Hey man you are in my area...take a look at the following websites -

    The Community Initiative is a good website, go to SF Resources tab, it will link you with everything in the Homovie page that is going on in the Bay Area, social club, activities, etc.

    http://thecommunityinitiative.org/sf_resources.php

    This is a good start where you can join a club, etc. and start dating, interacting.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    Go up to a good looking guy and ask, "Wanna fuck?"

    Works every time for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock saidInstead of Manhunt, DudesNude, Craigslist and the bars, I would do it this way, travelfan:

    You should have an LGBT center in your area that will give you a list of clubs and organizations that fit your mutual interests. Let's say if you like to run, there should be a chapter of Front Runners and Walkers in your area. If there is a group that gets together to see the Giants or 49ers play, then join up with them.

    The above may be good for one night stands, but listen to turtleneckjock, the voice of experience here.....doing a little research and finding like-minded groups, coupled with your good looks, will get you quality dates with guys you already share common interests with.

    That will work best for you!


    Agree. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:42 AM GMT
    Go out, experience life, quit living in fear.
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the advice guys!
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Sep 19, 2010 4:20 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock said
    fastfreddie saidGo up to a good looking guy and ask, "Wanna fuck?"

    Works every time for me.



    I found your comment here to be very ill timed, less than mature and completely unwelcome.

    Travelfan has taken a huge step in his life to realize what he wants, gender-wise, for friends and possible relationships going forward. This is an admirable step and for someone who has not been part of the RJ family for long and to come to us for advice, is noble and takes courage. I can see travelfan become an important part and a welcome member to us, and I feel your comment showed a lack of respect and responding while not completely reading his post.

    I don't like having to chastise any member here, especially you, regarding a comment, however, you failed to respond to my IM in order for me to do it in private.


    go get yourself some sense of humor, the guy's funny. just my opinion. u obviously dont appeal to his style of comedy.
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    Sep 19, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    redheadguy saidManhunt ? Craig's List ? Dudes nude?


    He's looking for a date not stds.
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    Sep 19, 2010 4:36 AM GMT
    Take him to a Water park...experiencing an adventure and fun together will only blossom to a friendship atleast if the date doesn't works out. All the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 4:38 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock -- we already have meninlove on here; consequently, we don't need another pontificating, self righteous, authoritarian prig on here dictating to people . . . so go buy a sense of humor and bugger off . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    Yeah I really don't mind his comment, it's clearly a joke.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock said
    fastfreddie saidGo up to a good looking guy and ask, "Wanna fuck?"

    Works every time for me.


    I don't like having to chastise any member here, especially you, regarding a comment, however, you failed to respond to my IM in order for me to do it in private.


    I didn't fail to respond to your IM; I blocked you weeks ago so you could no longer IM me or email me. I believe you're the only person on RJ I have ever had to do that to! As noren said above me, "so go buy a sense of humor and bugger off."
  • awayfromtheci...

    Posts: 154

    Sep 19, 2010 6:31 AM GMT
    travelfan saidYeah I really don't mind his comment, it's clearly a joke.


    Yes as you can see...travelfan was fine with a normal sense of humor. Stop projecting your own issues into this and move along...geesh. There is something that might be helpful for you to remember and try incorporate....

    "Be more concerned with what others need to hear, than with what YOU need to say"

    Others might say it in four words S... T.. F... U.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 6:49 AM GMT
    Look around Facebook through mutual friends, Myspace to find guys around... and then go through other places. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 12:39 PM GMT
    My experience with Manhunt and Adam4Adam are that I had to weed out the married ones. Almost 99% of those that contacted ME first were married. I don't drive down that road. The one guy I chatted with the most, when told I am a first timer, stopped typing.

    Luckily, I met a guy through a friend and we are truly hitting it off. If this fails, I may still go back to the aforementioned, but I will wear a Hefty bag to be safe ! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    travelfan saidYeah I really don't mind his comment, it's clearly a joke.

    I think you have been getting a lot of good advice, both in this thread and others, and your contributions are also good. Glad you could tell it was just a joke. It was obvious to most of us, I think, and to me not the least bit offensive.