Being bald in and out of the gay community

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    Well I recently turned to buzzing my head after having my hair thin out. I do notice guys who found me attractive before don't as much and other find me more attractive. I have been having a hard time dealing with looking at myself in the mirror like this in general sometimes it affects my self esteem and other times I like it it just depends on the day.

    I also wonder if this will have an effect on getting a job and career. I was wondering you bald guys out there how are you doing? Did you notice a difference in the way people treated you? Did you have problems at first?
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    I think it looks fine on you. But I understand I lost my hair a few years ago when I was under going chemo. I felt like I was treated different too. I went to lunch with this one guy that asked me what happened to my hair? you shouldn't have shaved it. Making me feel bad. Now I have hair again and its grown out. I personally prefer the low maintenance of a buzz cut but I only keep it grown out because I think it makes me look younger. My first bf was completely bald. It never bothered me
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    I think you look great with a shaved head. I have a bald spot on the back but I don't think I have the face for a shaved look, so I wear a baseball cap. Sucks.
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:56 AM GMT
    I think the reason bald guys tend to dislike their baldness is because when they look at themselves in the mirror, they see the hair as missing. Whereas people who just meet you will not. To them, your shaved head is just the way you look. It will probably be neutral to them, unless you are talking of a sexual interest. Then, as we all know, all sorts of factors enter into being attractive. And baldness can be a positive or negative depending on the person.

    I know I hate my appearance without hair and it has been 35 years. But it has its conveniences: no bedhead, no hat hair, no washing, combing, brushing, messing, blowing in your eyes while driving. You can cut it yourself. It doesn't clog the bathtub drain.

    Your baldness won't matter diddly to an employer.

    OMFG, I just looked at your pic. You still have lots of hair. Quit your whining! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 19, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    Eh, don't let the other guys get you down, either look works on you.

    But everyone knows shaved heads are hot...I mean cmon...
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    Sep 19, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    if it really annoys you, get hair transplant. It's become surprisingly cheap these days. For a couple grands you should pretty much have it all back.

    that , or just move on. .. or are you going to live according to other people's taste ?
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    Yeah thanks for the replies guys. Its just a big adjustment for me thats all.
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    jlk7jester saidWell I recently turned to buzzing my head after having my hair thin out.


    And you look hotter in buzz cut.

    I dont know anything about rest of the crap you are talking about. Ok, may be the guys who liked you before liked you because of the long hair. Wait for the other breed of men that will come after you for the buzz cut. Not everyone can sport it as well as you do.
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    I think you look better with a shaved head OP.
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    Sep 19, 2010 3:49 AM GMT
    Thank you so much you have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. I have been very down about the hair loss but knowing that others who also have bald heads and are living happy lives makes me feel not as alone.

    You guys really helped me looking at it from a different perspective. This is really what I needed.
  • Kev67

    Posts: 60

    Sep 19, 2010 7:19 AM GMT
    I shaved my hair off when I was in grad school, about the same age as you. The weirdest part was showing up to class on the first day with my new look... one of my professors, also bald, came over, looked me over, and then after a few seconds said, "your head has a good shape, it works." It was a strange exchange but funny in retrospect.

    I never had a good head of hair, so part of me thinks just as well, and it takes a lot less time to get ready in the morning! Also I like to swim, so it's much easier with a shaved head.

    Most people who have seen old photos of me have said I look better with the shaved head, and like others have mentioned here some guys will be attracted to you specifically because of your buzzed or shaved head. I agree, you look really good with your buzz cut! I'd even say you look better, but then I'm biased. Plus since you're working out, it becomes a nice overall package. You'll have fans, I assure you.

    I work in a fairly conventional career and have not found it to have any issue with employers or clients. And there's a bit of bonding when you meet another buzzed/shaved guy, who will oftentimes say "nice haircut" or something like that. I'm also asked fairly regularly how often I shave my head, if I do it myself, do I use a razor - complete strangers will ask sometimes, out of genuine curiosity and interest.

    I've also noticed that the shaved head gives me a bit of "street cred" when meeting strangers, which I never had before. People don't mess with a guy with a shaved head!
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    Sep 19, 2010 7:39 AM GMT
    You look good without hair (though not such a twink, which may or may not be a good thing).

    icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 19, 2010 7:44 AM GMT
    Kev67 saidI shaved my hair off when I was in grad school, about the same age as you. The weirdest part was showing up to class on the first day with my new look... one of my professors, also bald, came over, looked me over, and then after a few seconds said, "your head has a good shape, it works." It was a strange exchange but funny in retrospect.

    I never had a good head of hair, so part of me thinks just as well, and it takes a lot less time to get ready in the morning! Also I like to swim, so it's much easier with a shaved head.

    Most people who have seen old photos of me have said I look better with the shaved head, and like others have mentioned here some guys will be attracted to you specifically because of your buzzed or shaved head. I agree, you look really good with your buzz cut! I'd even say you look better, but then I'm biased. Plus since you're working out, it becomes a nice overall package. You'll have fans, I assure you.

    I work in a fairly conventional career and have not found it to have any issue with employers or clients. And there's a bit of bonding when you meet another buzzed/shaved guy, who will oftentimes say "nice haircut" or something like that. I'm also asked fairly regularly how often I shave my head, if I do it myself, do I use a razor - complete strangers will ask sometimes, out of genuine curiosity and interest.

    I've also noticed that the shaved head gives me a bit of "street cred" when meeting strangers, which I never had before. People don't mess with a guy with a shaved head!



    good points..I started losing my hair in my late twenties-I never cared.Didn't bother me one bit.never will.Now I keep it closely shaved and kev67 yes it does give some 'street cred' people think I look like a cop-at least until I open my mouth...
  • wildkatz

    Posts: 133

    Sep 19, 2010 9:38 AM GMT
    I started shaving my head back in 1996 at the age of 21 when my hair was thinning. Back then shaved heads were not the 'in thing' and I was horribly afraid of the controversy it might insight. I was very surprised by the reaciton, many people thought I was ballsy, others were just shocked that I did it.

    My head was bright white for a few weeks and very prone to sunburn, but like the skin on your arms and legs, it will adjust, but you still gotta be careful.

    When I first did it, I felt more out of place and emotional about it than anyone around me, and I projected my those feelings on many situations, thinking people didn't find me attractive, etc. I quickly learned the external esteem did not even come close to the internal esteem I'd given myself by choosing to lose the thinning hair (which was causing me much angst) and take control of the situation as you did! GOOD FOR YOU!

    15 years later people can't even imagine me with hair, friends from the past and present alike. I get more compliments than I ever did and I love this 'style', as it were. The only thing that ever stopped me from going on a date with someone was me :-) Many people do not know my real age nor can they guess it due to the fact a shaved head is pretty timeless :-)

    In time, you will definitely get used to it, it is a sense of lose and you will feel it for awhile, but don't let it define you. This is a great topic and I'm impressed you posted it! :-)
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    Sep 19, 2010 10:27 AM GMT
    The responses that you will just need a bit of time to get used to it are exactly right. Anybody who knows you will notice the change and it will take time; anybody that you meet will not really notice. It will just be a part of your appearance- like if you bought glasses. My brother in law has shaved his head (apparently) since his early 20's due to loosing the battle of the bald. Only knowing him without hair makes me think he would actually look ridiculous with any hair.

    Relax, you look great. It will just take a bit of time to get used to.
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    Sep 19, 2010 11:14 AM GMT
    What in the hell are you talking about? You look great.
  • baldone

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    Sep 19, 2010 11:44 AM GMT
    i think you looked good with the hair, but the shaved head on you rocks....much better....gives you a whole new "attitude" and people will get used to it and before long will not even notice....i started shaving 12 years ago, never did have a good head of hair anyways so was not much of a loss, funny what i found was the ladies love the bald look, and now that i am out well damn, never looked back and never missed the hair
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    Sep 19, 2010 12:45 PM GMT
    I think you look better and more mature with a shaved head. It might actually help you more with your career. When I was starting out in my career I hard time being taken seriously because I looked younger than I was. People would assume I didn't know about things or didn't have the experience and I felt I had to work twice as hard to prove myself. I know a lot of guys with shaved heads and they all look very hot.
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    Sep 19, 2010 12:53 PM GMT
    i don't think its just the gay community i think it happens to men everywhere its just preferences people have, i def would take u out both ways but i think the bald is extra salty icon_twisted.gif
  • lacrosse_port...

    Posts: 141

    Sep 19, 2010 1:04 PM GMT
    I often worry about these things too, my hair started thinning out when i was 17 and I tried in vain to keep it long, use product but eventually it just looked ridiculous so i embraced it and stick to keeping it shaved. Some people say I suit it others think i suit hair better, unfortunately i dont have a choice in the matter. Embrace the baldness, there's plenty of guys that find skin heads sexy. Ones that are shallow enough to care are not worth worrying about. x

    PS you are hot
  • 4travel

    Posts: 77

    Sep 19, 2010 1:04 PM GMT
    I tried to hold on to my hair for a while. Once I shaved it people thought it looked a lot better. Some stuff you can't control and I think that a shaved head looks a lot sexier than a balding look. If you kept your hair people would watch you getting balder and balder each year. Now people will adjust to your new sexy look and won't even realize you are losing more hair because you shave it off.

    Will you have a harder time picking up the "fashion conscious", obsessively shallow queeny twink boy? Perhaps! But you it will not affect your ability to pick up the fit, jock type of guy.

    If you are still paranoid about it(as I was)...work a little harder on the body. No hair with a good body easily overides no body with good hair. No matter what though attitude trumps them both. Be confidnet about your new look, it is working for you and it is only a symbol of a different phasein your life.
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:06 PM GMT
    Bald guys are hot.
    I am always very attracted to them and they always turn my head.
    Sometimes it does depend on the shape of your head as to whether it is a good look or not but there are no hotter guys out there than Bruce Willis Freddie Ljungberg and Woody Harrelson.
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    the shaved head look is definitely a good luck i think for you man,
    dont worry about it, after a couple of months, you wont remember what you looked like with hair,
    and i gotta admit i find alot of shaved head guys very hot and rugged, if its thinning badly, clean shaved head look is the way to go, you made right choice man..

    as for hair styles in general, i personally think any guy who spends too much time on his hair is little too preoccupied with their looks... you know the kind... i got some straight male friends that fix every hair strand in place , check themselves out in mirrors constantly when we are out and stuff, i find such preening hilarious
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    Sep 19, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    Better to be bald than to look like Enzo on "Big Brother":

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    Sep 19, 2010 1:11 PM GMT
    dude dont worry, u look good both way ;) actually i shaved my head as well like 2 days ago, it was my 1st time, so i kept on asking ppl how i looked n every1 has his own opinion, but for u i'd say u still look good and if i were to choose str8 or curly on u i wud say curly suits u better icon_smile.gif dont worry about it and if u did it bcuz ur hair has thinned out, then try some 'Minoxidil' for a few months, it usually works.