Commitment

  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Sep 21, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    Hello Everyone! I hope you guys are having a GREAT start to your weekday but emotionally I am a wreck. As a Psychology major...I have learned from my studies that humans are sexual creatures from the womb to the tomb but tonight I have asked myself this question "Why do I find guys that don't want commitment?".....sometimes I feel like I have a flashing light above my head that says "Hey guys, I just wanna fuck"....I have been hurt so many times I cannot take it anymore to the point I went on Facebook and wrote how I hate men. How can I overcome this struggle of mine? I have broadened my horizons and feel comfortable dating 6-8 years older, and I even chatted with a guy who has a child but all he wanted was sex =(. Is it because I'm a twink? Or the way I present myself the cause of this? I'm being myself and am not a whore by no means icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 21, 2010 8:32 AM GMT
    Hey man - I don't want to sound at all condescending, but you're young still. You have a lot of years ahead of you to find the perfect guy.

    My partner and I got together when we were 21 and 32 respectively, and I feel pretty sure this is "The One" relationship-wise. Before meeting we each had a lot of other partners, short term, longer term, one-night-only-specials. A person has to be "just right" (for you) to want to commit to them, and it can take time to find that person. It can also take time for some of us to *want* to commit, and other guys your age in particular might not really be up for 'settling down' just yet.

    My best advice would be to not worry - it'll happen. Take the pressure off yourself, and the guys you hook up, and just enjoy what presents itself in your life. You'll find a great guy to get all committed with, possibly when you least expect him. In the meantime just relax, enjoy the ride, and keep your mind open..
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    Sep 21, 2010 3:10 PM GMT


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    r_evolutionary.


    A very smart man and a personal hero of ours.
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    Sep 21, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    I would say don't stress yourself out over this slump your in. Garbage is going to find it's way in and out of your life. Your Mr. Right is going to come along. Don't count yourself out yet.

    As for being a twink... Dogs will be dogs regardless of who/what you look like you are. All you can do is decline their invitations and you should be fine.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Sep 21, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    Psychology is one thing, but don't forget biology and physiology. Men are genetically engineered to spread their seed. Straight or gay. And it doesn't help that our gay male society just promotes that. It's not easy to find committed couples as role models. So, sleeping around appears as the norm. All you can do is be true to yourself. But don't think that you're the only commitment-minded person out there. You're not. But you do need to find them. And you're more likely to find them doing social activities that don't involve bars and clubs.
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    Sep 21, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    I wish I could find a twink who wanted more with me than just sex. But thats what twinks want, they don't want relationships, so the assumption that you are just out for sex is an easy one to make. And those who do want more have to prove themselves. Otherwise the assumption is that there is a hidden agenda behind it.

    Everyone is a piece of meat until proven otherwise.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Sep 21, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    batman192 saidEveryone is a piece of meat until proven otherwise.


    I was stressing about what to have printed on my Christmas cards this year until now. Thanks Batman192! icon_wink.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Sep 21, 2010 9:05 PM GMT
    Dude..... you first need to commit to yourself....it sounds can your looking for someone to give you love instead of first loving yourself ....it may be that your lack of esteem that puts other guys off......You come off looking needy and clingy....Cultivate your inner self....Work on increasing your confidence level... only then will love surely come brah.....All the best....BUD
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Sep 22, 2010 1:29 AM GMT
    Thanks you guys for your input, I definitely will just continue to living life and having fun! I read Eat, Pray, Love over the summer and I looked over the following quote......

    "When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

    For myself I do have to learn how to LOVE myself more and even when I do feel "lonely" I can pleasure myself by relaxing or just good company. I need to stop stressing about the future and just let things play out....I know one day I will find a partner I'm just like any other young adult from my generation I want instant gratification.

    Mybud --I think I have good self-esteem and I might seem needy or high-maintenance because I'm used to everything being handed to me. It wasn't until a year ago I moved away I started to become more self sufficient. But my confidence has blossomed since I started at my university last year. I made a-lot of friends, starred in the drag show and was put on the front cover, and now am in the process of doing a couple of photo-shoots. I still can improve though...

    HomingDevice -- Haha Thanks =)

    You guys ROCK <3