Making Weight

  • JESIE

    Posts: 1616

    Sep 21, 2010 8:39 PM GMT
    It seems like lately ALL Ive been stressing over is my weight...
    My friends that I hang out with are ALL thinner than me...Athletic..a few..but not many
    And I don't want to be thin; Id rather work on being muscular.
    And its more added insult to injury when

    1) a complete stranger called me fat
    2) a guy I met to hang out with said I needed LOTS of work. And that if I ever wanted to mess around, I'd have to call him when I was..built better (he joked around about it but still I got the point)
    3) my own mother said I could never be those guys who are buff/built/beefy/toned because I have stretch marks and "meat" on me
    4) my co-works (even though I've opened up to them about my history being overweight and being honest about having bad eating habits and that I am trying to change them) still poke at my sides, stomach, and tell me all the time I'm getting fat again.
    5) My best friend (I love him dearly) said that the only difference he's seen in me is maintaining my current figure and that wanted to be muscular is a waist of time. Yet, when ever he tries on my clothes he says "I'm swimming in your garments." icon_razz.gif

    Sometimes I feel no one is on my side. Yet when I work out I find clarity and calmness. I'm active and don't want to be like my family (overweight/unhealthy/AND inactive). I Especially do not want my niece to become like this since my sister and mother care not to eat or be active. I don't think a lot of people understand where I'm coming from when it concerns weight

    In h.s. I was miserable. Taunted and made fun of. Then to come home to siblings that only enhanced the feeling of being a joke. So I stress about weight because I don't ever want to go back to that dark place in my life.

    I turn to realjock for encouragement. Inspiration. motivation. Its a battle and I don't wanna give up. I think I just need to clear my head of negativity that follows me and look on the up and up...BLAH
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    Sep 21, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    I'd need to see you without your shirt on to make any comments on your size.

    But anyway..

    Ignore them, they don't understand.

    I got comments all the time about how they don't like built guys and yet that is what I'm working to, they found it unattractive and didn't see the point... Yeah of course they wouldn't because they couldn't put as much effort and dedication into it as I can and am.

    At the end of the day I think they are scared because I'm changing so much and I'm slowly leaving them behind not by intention but just because my interests are moving away from the things I used to like to other things like being outside enjoying the day eating things that tast good and are good for me and finding less common ground with the people I once used to know and they are picking up on it too.. I'm changing and they don't like that and some comments have been kinda harsh I'm more a disruption to the life they have rather then a calming addition.
  • JESIE

    Posts: 1616

    Sep 21, 2010 9:40 PM GMT
    anybody else is different
    but when family puts you down and your co-workers
    maybe said in a joking fashion...it's still salt on a wound
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    Sep 21, 2010 10:58 PM GMT
    JESIE saidanybody else is different
    but when family puts you down and your co-workers
    maybe said in a joking fashion...it's still salt on a wound

    Indeed it is but you can let it bother you, bitch slap them or ignore them.
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    Sep 22, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    From what I can see in your pics you're not at all in that bad a shape. Why do you say in your profile you wear oversize clothes.. maybe that's what is making you look like a "shape" unknown.
    Anyways, fuck what others say and think, if you want to beef up there is nothing stopping you other than yourself. You absolutely can do it if you want to. What you should do is commit in your mind that you ARE going to look all buffed by this time next year and just do it, absolutely positively and don't f'en give up ever. Think positive,, think and imagine yourself looking the way you want to look at the next highschool reunion and how everyones gonna be amazed at the change...then do it.
    Always remember that all those guys you see on here or in mags never started out looking like that.Repeat this to yourself, if they can do I can to.
    Don't give up
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    Sep 22, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    I'm really sorry man, that's awful! I can't imagine having that many people be so negative. Good thing you come here for encouragement, because you need to surround yourself with positive people, not negative people which is seems like most of your friends and co-workers are. Talk to your family about it, because maybe your co-workers and friends wont change, but your family should always encourage you, if you are just honest with them about how what they say makes you feel.

    Also, just forget about all that and keep going to the gym and eating healthy. And every time you look in the mirror and notice slight changes, know that everybody else was wrong and use it as motivation to keep going! You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Fuck everybody else! icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 22, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    I see a lot of progress from your "before" photo and your more recent ones. Personally, I think you look great. It sucks that those around you aren't more supportive. I encourage you to keep doing what you can to stay healthy, and let that, rather than just physical appearance, be your focus.
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    Sep 22, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    Fuck the fucking fuckers. Turn yourself into a 5'8", 215# STUD. Let them all be jealous in their fucking stupid skinny jeans.
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    Sep 22, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    Notice the theme in your post?

    It's all you comparing yourself to others and your self taking in, quite personally and internalizing it all, the opinions of others.

    A) Do what makes YOU happy.
    B) Do not limit yourself, and your perception of yourself, to the opinions of others. They are wrong. In this instance we know for fact they are wrong, it's not a matter of our opinion that they are wrong, they are wrong.
    C) Stay strong.
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    Sep 22, 2010 4:09 AM GMT
    JESIE said
    still poke at my sides, stomach, and tell me all the time I'm getting fat again.


    I know this sucks and they should be sensitive to how you feel. I have called friends fat only when I don't think they are at all, but I would never call someone who is actually fat... fat. make sense? So maybe if they did think you actually were over weight, they wouldn't do that. Just a thought.
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    Sep 22, 2010 4:21 AM GMT
    "those who have abandoned their dreams, will do their very best to discourage yours."

    do not give in to this assault on your integrity, you did enough of that in high school. steel your resolve. stay focused on what you want, and when you do reach your fitness goals, become the example that can inspire them because you have known what it was like, or if need be, blind them with the radiance of your accomplishment and let them collapse under the weight of their own delusions. maya can be a real bitch.

    but your physical body is only part of the equation. you must work on your mind as well, because even if your critics aren't physically around you to rain down their unjustified opinions, you still carry them in your head. work on changing you habitual ways of thinking about yourself. meditation helps, a lot.

    you are not responsible for them. you are responsible only for you. it is not a burden. it is an empowerment. if you choose it to be.

    as a good friend of mine has said, " fuck 'em all but six."

    (yeah, i don't really know what it means either, but it sure does sound cool)


    peace out, boy scout.

    -cogitor
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Sep 22, 2010 8:01 AM GMT
    Jesie,

    There are always going to be people who want to tear us down. They might not even realize it. They think they're being funny.

    From your pics you simply look gorgeous. You've come a LONG way. Don't let ANYONE take that away from you.

    But what I know from other people who've made that sort of transition, it's easier to unload the outside you than it is the view you have of yourself in your head. You may feel like that overweight person for quite some time.

    But you know the truth. You know where you've been and where you're going. You have to keep at it. Put those criticisms, perceived or real, internal or external, and put them in their place. Don't let them hold power of you. You are stronger than that. You've already proven that by what you've overcome. It's easy to get fatigued and slide back and start to believe those criticisms, but shake them off and continue with your path forward.

    We're all a work-in-progress.

    Eric
  • JESIE

    Posts: 1616

    Sep 22, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    thanks for the encouraging words. All of you gentlemen icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 22, 2010 3:51 PM GMT
    JESIE said1) a complete stranger called me fat
    2) a guy I met to hang out with said I needed LOTS of work. And that if I ever wanted to mess around, I'd have to call him when I was..built better (he joked around about it but still I got the point)
    3) my own mother said I could never be those guys who are buff/built/beefy/toned because I have stretch marks and "meat" on me
    4) my co-works (even though I've opened up to them about my history being overweight and being honest about having bad eating habits and that I am trying to change them) still poke at my sides, stomach, and tell me all the time I'm getting fat again.
    5) My best friend (I love him dearly) said that the only difference he's seen in me is maintaining my current figure and that wanted to be muscular is a waist of time. Yet, when ever he tries on my clothes he says "I'm swimming in your garments." icon_razz.gif
    I went through all of that...even #3.
    It ended up being part of my motivation for getting back in shape and showing the fuckers who's boss of my body. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 22, 2010 10:58 PM GMT
    man, ur body is buff!!!! u know what, a lot of people, when they see a built guy, get confused between muscular and fat, in their weird heads, they see u as fat when in fact ur built and WAY stronger and fitter than them. Bro, im a big pecs fan, and im tellin u, ur pecs are fiiiinnnne!!!!! would suck on those puppies all night. Keep up the good work dude. Ive been called fat, when really, im not, im a muscular guy. some people are just a bit dumb I think.