Living together while in breakup mode

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 28, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    I'm in the middle of this mode right now, any suggestions?

    Doug
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    Feb 29, 2008 12:48 AM GMT
    It's probably going to be rocky for a while, so hang in there. Set up ground rules if you're able to be civil toward each other. It might also help to get out of the house as much as you can. Go out with friends, etc.

    Good luck...
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 29, 2008 1:05 AM GMT
    I'm actually doing that now. I see how hard it is to live with someone your no longer in a relationship with. It's actually pretty damn hard at times to do this, we both want to part as friends.

    Doug
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    Feb 29, 2008 3:29 AM GMT
    cityguy39 saidI'm actually doing that now. I see how hard it is to live with someone your no longer in a relationship with. It's actually pretty damn hard at times to do this, we both want to part as friends.

    Doug


    Unfortunately, I've had to do it twice in my life. There's no getting around the fact: it's just plain brutal. Good luck, and if you ever feel like venting, please email me.

    Jeff
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 29, 2008 5:18 AM GMT
    Thanks Jeff, I just might do that.

    Doug
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    Feb 29, 2008 5:24 AM GMT
    Well it all depends on how and why you are breaking up. You guys can still be civil and even possible friends depending on how you treat this situation. I've never gone through this personally but I have witnessed others doing it and they ended up being good friends.

    Some people make better friends then they do lovers.
    I hope it all works out for you.
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    Feb 29, 2008 5:43 AM GMT
    It all comes down to communication and respect. I lived with my ex and his new partner for about a year after the big break up. It wasn't always easy, but we managed to create an incredibly fun and dynamic friendship between the three of us.
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    Feb 29, 2008 5:52 AM GMT
    Hell no - I'd (and have) run for the hills. Friends or not. I just broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago and moved out immediately. As much as I love him I couldn't stand to still live with him. We had been together a little over a year. Being with him and not "being together" would have been torture for both of us.

    It's definitely not an easy situation, especially if you're on good terms. It's almost easier if they're a jerk, cause you can hate them and be glad to be rid of them. When you still love them it royally sucks.

    Good luck with it man. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 29, 2008 2:08 PM GMT
    It's not easy. I did it for a few months once. I found that spending more time away from home and at the park, coffee shop, lake, etc., or friends places, was helpful. But eventually I wanted to spend more time at home and moving apart made the most sense.
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    Feb 29, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    I did this one, too - my ex- moved into the guest bedroom and essentially would not leave. Only when my prospective partner from DC planned an extended visit did my ex- finally move out.

    But then, had he NOT moved into the guest room, I wouldn't have had the impulse to leave town for a long weekend - which is when I MET my partner - so in a twisted way, he actually facilitated the best thing that's ever happened to me.

    That's the second time a partner had done something like that - my first partner used me as a free ride to move from Chattanooga to L.A., where he dumped me - exactly where I needed to be ~~~

    So maybe, Doug, something amazing will come of it - you just have no way of knowing what it is.

    Joey

    (PS: Don't offer him money to move out - that one backfired on me BIGTIME)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 02, 2008 12:26 PM GMT
    Yeah I have one...

    ...you might wanna try sleepin' with a knife under the pillow