Lost my best friend now what.

  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Sep 26, 2010 12:48 PM GMT
    So last Thursday was the hardest day of mine and my partners life. We had to finally put down our dog, Baiser. I don't know what to do now. There is a hole in our home and time that she had filled. I'm not saying I need anything but I know we all have our pets. Love them, cherish them.
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    Sep 26, 2010 12:56 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry about your dog. I know how difficult it can be. We adopted a wonderful puppy from a rescue but she had parvo and we had to have her put to sleep. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. She was only with us for a short time but had a huge impact on our lives. A friend of mine made a forum for her when she was in the hospital and reading what people said meant a lot to us. I found out there are a lot of dog lovers on RJ.

    One thing you might want to do until you are ready to get another dog is volunteer at a shelter or foster a rescue dog. We aren't ready for another dog yet, but hope to adopt again near the end of the year.

    Hang in there, and cherish the memories of your best friend.
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    Sep 26, 2010 1:31 PM GMT
    Big Hugs
    It’s been two years since I had to put my best girl down and I’m still not ready for another.
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    Sep 26, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    Don't torture yourself. You can always have a new best friend. The best way to overcome an old love is to find a new love.
  • IdkMyBffJill

    Posts: 148

    Sep 26, 2010 4:26 PM GMT
    Very sorry to hear about your loss.
    Remember the happy times. Time will help.
  • awayfromtheci...

    Posts: 154

    Sep 26, 2010 4:26 PM GMT
    So sorry to hear about your loss. They mean more than even we realize. Lost my best (called him brown dog cause my niece couldn't remember his name and always said..wheres da brown dog). Mine was twelve and just amazing. Then I lost my sister and a human best friend all in the span of three months. When it rains, it pours sometimes. Point is, fast forward or slow forward past a difficult time and things do get better. Hang in there!


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    Sep 26, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    Sorry dude, it must be rough. I grew up losing quite a few of my dogs because my family keeps eating them, just kidding, they don't.

    I've lost a couple dogs and it sucks big time. Its has always been due to old age which means I grew up with them for many years. When you get a new puppy you kinda expect it to be like the previous pup but they are always different. You'll eventually love the new pup tho.
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    Sep 26, 2010 4:56 PM GMT
    I have been a dog owner since i was a kid, and it is never easy to say goodbye. I have mourned and cried harder losing them than for most people. You need your own time to mourn and process the loss and it's ok to do that. They are special spirits that teach us a special love not available otherwise to the human being. I lost my girl in August 2008 at 4yrs to AutoImmune Deficiency, and in March of 2009 i found a guy at the local shelter that has taken me up a rung on the spiritual ladder. We usually outlive them for a reason, our love grows with each one. Peace in your spirit brother....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Sep 26, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    Deepest sympathies to you and your partner for the loss of Baiser. You'll probably always keep fond memories of your fun times together. One thing that helps me whenever I lose a pet is to give a home to another homeless, deserving pet. That might be something for you to consider. A new pet never replaces the departed pet, exactly - - but I find comfort in giving a new pet a warm place he/she can call "home". Best of everything to you both.
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    Sep 26, 2010 4:58 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidSorry dude, it must be rough. I grew up losing quite a few of my dogs because my family keeps eating them, just kidding, they don't.

    LOL, that may be the best laugh I'll have all day... maybe all week. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    I have 4 currently. And 3 of them are less than a year apart from one another, so I know in a year or more times of one's passing, it won't be long for the others. It'll make me really sad, but I know I can always get another that won't be the same, but will make up for the hole left. Just give it time. All will be better even if it takes some time. icon_smile.gificon_smile.gif
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    ShinyToyTrev saidI have 4 currently. And 3 of them are less than a year apart from one another, so I know in a year or more times of one's passing, it won't be long for the others. It'll make me really sad, but I know I can always get another that won't be the same, but will make up for the hole left. icon_smile.gif

    Aww, that's going to be many heartaches right in a row.

    I have never owned a dog as an adult, but I have a very cool cat that's been with me for 14 years and counting. He is literally my constant companion. No matter where I am in the house, he is laying at my side (if not on me). He's the most affectionate cat I've ever known.

    I'm going to be inconsolable for a long time after he passes on. It's hard to even think about it.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    Global_Citizen said
    ShinyToyTrev saidI have 4 currently. And 3 of them are less than a year apart from one another, so I know in a year or more times of one's passing, it won't be long for the others. It'll make me really sad, but I know I can always get another that won't be the same, but will make up for the hole left. icon_smile.gif

    Aww, that's going to be many heartaches right in a row.

    I have never owned a dog as an adult, but I have a very cool cat that's been with me for 14 years and counting. He is literally my constant companion. No matter where I am in the house, he is laying at my side (if not on me). He's the most affectionate cat I've ever known.

    I'm going to be inconsolable for a long time after he passes on. It's hard to even think about it.

    Yeah.

    The youngest out of them seems to be the healthiest and I'll probably be crying for a day or two to get over her since she's mine. The other one is her father, and then the other we adopted and he's such a cute fat dog. It'll be REALLY sad, and the fact that we'll have the skittish douchey Yorkie will make me want another dog ASAP.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:20 PM GMT
    Latenight30 saidSo last Thursday was the hardest day of mine and my partners life. We had to finally put down our dog, Baiser. I don't know what to do now. There is a hole in our home and time that she had filled. I'm not saying I need anything but I know we all have our pets. Love them, cherish them.


    I'm sorry you lost your dog. I know how difficult it can be to lose a pet who becomes such an important part of your life and your family. Know you've got friends and even some strangers who are thinking of you and your loss.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    I posted this in a similar thread a while back, but thought I would share here:

    My sincere condolences. I have been through this a few times, and can tell you it never gets easier, nor should it.

    I grew up with dogs, but my first one as an adult was special. We had a close one-on-one relationship. I got him as a puppy. He wasn't too much bigger than a guinea pig, but grew into a full size large Doberman. After he passed away, I remember thinking how unfair it was that dogs did not live longer, as they possess all the good qualities and none of the bad qualities of humans.

    I was without a dog for several years after that. I rescued an adult Doberman. We also had a great relationship. As we were walking, I remembered thinking after my first one passed away that I wished he could have lived as long as me. Then I realized if he had, I would have never known my second Dobie. So I realized things happen for reasons we may not understand, and just accept what the process is.

    The second one passed away in 2005. I thought he would be my last dog, as I wanted to travel more. I lasted two weeks without a dog, and then rescued a very young adult Dobie. Rescuing another so soon did not take the pain away, but helped change the focus from the past to the future.

    No one dog replaces another. They are all unique and special. You may need some time, or maybe not. Everyone is different. But I hope you will consider rescuing another deserving dog who will give you total gratitude and love.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    CaliBoySwag saidDon't torture yourself. You can always have a new best friend. The best way to overcome an old love is to find a new love.


    Obviously NOT a dog owner... or lover!!! Shame on you!!

    To Latenigth30: My condolences, my dear man... take the time you need to mourn your loss, keep the best memories and we will be here for you!!
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    Friendsrbetter said
    CaliBoySwag saidDon't torture yourself. You can always have a new best friend. The best way to overcome an old love is to find a new love.


    Obviously NOT a dog owner... or lover!!! Shame on you!!

    Uhhh...

    I actually think CaliBoySwag wasn't too far off. The new dog won't be able to completely cover the memory of the old one, but it will help fill the void. I've had over 7 dogs in my lifetime and seen them die up close and personal each time. Yes, you're going to miss what you had... but you will move on too and appreciate the other in a new light. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:50 PM GMT

    In MY opinion.. and out of respect for Baiser, it would be best NOT to run out and get another dog... the healing should take precedence over "filling the void".
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Sep 26, 2010 5:52 PM GMT
    It is tough, I went through it last year..
    Take time to grieve, and let your life continue.

    You'll get another dog when you two are ready.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:55 PM GMT
    Friendsrbetter said
    In MY opinion.. and out of respect for Baiser, it would be best NOT to run out and get another dog... the healing should take precedence over "filling the void".

    No one said to run out to the pound the next day... Obviously time is a factor.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Sep 26, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    Coping with Pet Loss
    by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed.

    Anyone who considers a pet a beloved friend, companion, or family member knows the intense pain that accompanies the loss of that friend. Following are some tips on coping with that grief, and with the difficult decisions one faces upon the loss of a pet.

    1. Am I crazy to hurt so much?

    Intense grief over the loss of a pet is normal and natural. Don't let anyone tell you that it's silly, crazy, or overly sentimental to grieve!

    During the years you spent with your pet (even if they were few), it became a significant and constant part of your life. It was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. So don't be surprised if you feel devastated by the loss of such a relationship.

    People who don't understand the pet/owner bond may not understand your pain. All that matters, however, is how you feel. Don't let others dictate your feelings: They are valid, and may be extremely painful. But remember, you are not alone: Thousands of pet owners have gone through the same feelings.

    2. What Can I Expect to Feel?

    Different people experience grief in different ways. Besides your sorrow and loss, you may also experience the following emotions:
    Guilt may occur if you feel responsible for your pet's death-the "if only I had been more careful" syndrome. It is pointless and often erroneous to burden yourself with guilt for the accident or illness that claimed your pet's life, and only makes it more difficult to resolve your grief.
    Denial makes it difficult to accept that your pet is really gone. It's hard to imagine that your pet won't greet you when you come home, or that it doesn't need its evening meal. Some pet owners carry this to extremes, and fear their pet is still alive and suffering somewhere. Others find it hard to get a new pet for fear of being "disloyal" to the old.
    Anger may be directed at the illness that killed your pet, the driver of the speeding car, the veterinarian who "failed" to save its life. Sometimes it is justified, but when carried to extremes, it distracts you from the important task of resolving your grief.
    Depression is a natural consequence of grief, but can leave you powerless to cope with your feelings. Extreme depression robs you of motivation and energy, causing you to dwell upon your sorrow.
    3. What can I do about my feelings?

    The most important step you can take is to be honest about your feelings. Don't deny your pain, or your feelings of anger and guilt. Only by examining and coming to terms with your feelings can you begin to work through them.

    You have a right to feel pain and grief! Someone you loved has died, and you feel alone and bereaved. You have a right to feel anger and guilt, as well. Acknowledge your feelings first, then ask yourself whether the circumstances actually justify them.

    Locking away grief doesn't make it go away. Express it. Cry, scream, pound the floor, talk it out. Do what helps you the most. Don't try to avoid grief by not thinking about your pet; instead, reminisce about the good times. This will help you understand what your pet's loss actually means to you.

    Some find it helpful to express their feelings and memories in poems, stories, or letters to the pet. Other strategies including rearranging your schedule to fill in the times you would have spent with your pet; preparing a memorial such as a photo collage; and talking to others about your loss.

    4. Who can I talk to?

    If your family or friends love pets, they'll understand what you're going through. Don't hide your feelings in a misguided effort to appear strong and calm! Working through your feelings with another person is one of the best ways to put them in perspective and find ways to handle them. Find someone you can talk to about how much the pet meant to you and how much you miss it-someone you feel comfortable crying and grieving with.

    If you don't have family or friends who understand, or if you need more help, ask your veterinarian or humane association to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group. Check with your church or hospital for grief counseling. Remember, your grief is genuine and deserving of support.

    5. Should I get a new pet right away?

    Generally, the answer is no. One needs time to work through grief and loss before attempting to build a relationship with a new pet. If your emotions are still in turmoil, you may resent a new pet for trying to "take the place" of the old-for what you really want is your old pet back. Children in particular may feel that loving a new pet is "disloyal" to the previous pet.

    When you do get a new pet, avoid getting a "lookalike" pet, which makes comparisons all the more likely. Don't expect your new pet to be "just like" the one you lost, but allow it to develop its own personality. Never give a new pet the same name or nickname as the old. Avoid the temptation to compare the new pet to the old one: It can be hard to remember that your beloved companion also caused a few problems when it was young!

    A new pet should be acquired because you are ready to move forward and build a new relationship-rather than looking backward and mourning your loss. When you are ready, select an animal with whom you can build another long, loving relationship-because this is what having a pet is all about!
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    Sep 26, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    Latenight30 saidSo last Thursday was the hardest day of mine and my partners life. We had to finally put down our dog, Baiser. I don't know what to do now. There is a hole in our home and time that she had filled. I'm not saying I need anything but I know we all have our pets. Love them, cherish them.


    I'm really sorry about your loss. I know many times over it's heart-breaking to go through but it does go away eventually. I still greatly miss all my past dogs. I could never live in a dog-free house for long so when the time is right for another one it's right.

    And yeah, sometimes you think in your decision making to come, I'd think anyways, new dog will never be as good as he (old dog) was but you know that has never happened. Each one becomes special because they are unique souls.

    (I sorta disagree with that advise about about not getting a look-alike pet. well with purebreeds that can be a little difficult sometimes)

    Again, sorry
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    Sep 26, 2010 7:13 PM GMT
    I love my dog. He's only two years old, now. But after just two years I've gotten so attached to him. I can't imagine how important he'll be after another ten, twelve years. And when he finally does go.. I'll be a train wreck. icon_sad.gif

    I don't know if I'll be able to have another dog.. at least not until after I retire eons from now.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Sep 26, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
    Tuss....live and love for today.

    Today.

    Time is relative to our four legged buds, so take a page from their book and be here now. It's all that matters.

    r.
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    Sep 26, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    ShinyToyTrev said
    Friendsrbetter said
    In MY opinion.. and out of respect for Baiser, it would be best NOT to run out and get another dog... the healing should take precedence over "filling the void".

    No one said to run out to the pound the next day... Obviously time is a factor.


    I stand corrected and I meant no offense, honestly!!! I obviously read more into your post than was intended... sorry. .icon_sad.gif