Just lost my friend, colleague and workoutpartner....

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    Sep 26, 2010 9:45 PM GMT
    One morning i woke up, did my morningrutine, packed my bag and left for work, as I always do...

    5 minnutes after ariving at work my boss gave me the message. She said: '' I'v got some bad news... Joakim took his own life last night''

    First I couldn't believe her, then i went into a shock before I broke down in tears...

    Joakim, the always smiling dude, the fun-loving prick, the life of the party and my good friend, was realy gone.....

    I only got to know him 3 months, but it took us only 3 minutes before we were on the same level and bonded like brothers.

    2 months ago we started training together. yesterday I had to do the rutine alone....

    he really knew his way around the gym and was fitt as hell. He became ''my own personal trainer''. Thanks to him I feel comfortable with the rutine and around the gym. I really didn't like going to the gym before i met him. the lockerrooms with all the other guys and all the people starring at you when you'r training.

    I remember every exercise and our rutine, step by step. And now that my partner is gone I'll have to do it by my own. But I will! And I'll do great! One day, when I reach my goal, I'll point to the sky and say '' thank you Joa, thank you!''

    the scary thing is that only hours.... before he hung himselfe... we were at the gym lifting wieghts and having a blast! Never in my mind could I had guessed that he would do what he did that night....

    I hope none of you have ever lost your workoutpartner, a close colleague or a good friend. I lost all three over one night.

    <a href=Photobucket">

    Joakim (to the left) and Me at a party only 2 weeks ago...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2010 9:48 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss. Iv known 2 people overs the years that took their own lives.
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    Sep 26, 2010 10:02 PM GMT
    SUCKS
    Big Big HUGS
    Try; I know it’s not possible, but try not to blame yourself. Sometimes we never see these things coming.

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 26, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
    It must be really tough.
    We just never know what's going on in other people's minds, how they're suffering behind the normal persona that they show the world.
    Actually, I think it's amazing that more people don't take their lives.
    It's easier to give up than to go on struggling.
    Hugs.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 26, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    My condolences
    It's very tough when you lose someone esp when you are hit with it as such a surprise like this one
    There are going to be a million questions and feelings that are going to be floating around your head over this
    and most will never be answered satisfactorily
    Stay close with your family and friends
    Try not to be alone too much
    The loss and the sadness and even yes the anger will lessen with time
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Sep 26, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    Wow... Your post almost brought me to tears. It's so sad, I'm losing my words, so guess I'll stick to the usual : my condolences.

    I feel very sorry for you, Lenden. But no mather where he is now, I'm sure I'll always be the little help that makes you push your own limits at the gym. And wherever, in your life.

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    Sep 26, 2010 11:49 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I had a friend who committed suicide by running straight in to busy traffic. I'll never forget what I told him before hand. I new he was depressed and I tried to convince him to seek counseling, but to no avail icon_cry.gif .
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    Sep 26, 2010 11:53 PM GMT
    Wow! It's bad enough to lose someone, but out of the blue like, and by his own hand! That is so sad. My sympathy.

    Any idea why he did it?
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    Sep 27, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    my deepest sympathies to you bud...keithicon_cool.gif
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    Sep 27, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    God Bless
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    Sep 27, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 27, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    My condolences....

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    Sep 27, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    Twenty five years ago the mother of an English friend of mine called from overseas to tell me he'd killed himself. I never asked her why or how, trying only to comfort her in suggesting that if he'd wanted us to know and intercede he'd have revealed something of his inner turmoil, his private hell, and commiserated at our upset that he didn't confide in us. A continent and a quarter century apart I think of him rarely, but even now with reminders like this post I turn everything over in my mind and come up with nothing. I'm still sad that he's gone and to this day don't know the circumstances of his death but I remain glad that he found peace and am grateful that we became friends in his final years. Take comfort that your friend knew you in the end, and to the extent that you were able you got to know him too.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Sep 27, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    I'm really sorry to hear that icon_sad.gif *hugs*
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    Sep 27, 2010 5:42 AM GMT
    Whats so sad that people with major internal depression, can still smile like your friend is in that picture. Life is such a cruel and vicious game. icon_sad.gif

    Sorry for you loss.
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    Sep 27, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    i am so sorry. icon_cry.gif i hope you will be okay.
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    Sep 27, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    Oh man, sorry to hear that. *hugs* icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 27, 2010 7:51 AM GMT
    Here is a poem, with deep regards to your loss
    Use it as you see fit.


    The winding way


    Had I a thousand years

    I would embrace you each day

    Had I a thousand smiles

    Yours would be my pride

    Had I an eternity

    With you I would share

    Had I a thousand irreplaceable friends

    You were one of them

    By me (Niet10)
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    Sep 28, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    thanks for the support guys, much appreciated!

    the funeral is this friday... gonna be hard, but it will be nice to say goodbye one last time.

    I'm left with only good memories of him, life must go on, but tragedies like this one is hard to deal with or even believe.

    again, thanks guys
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    Sep 28, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    My condolences to you and his family.
    The loss of anyone is hard enough, but to be a suicide..is so much harder.....It leaves so many questions unanswered and unanswerable. Just know that you are NOT responsible for what he did to himself...Keep his memory and light alive in your heart...Be well and grieve freely with those who also know and will now miss him...There is no logic in the loss, so don't torture yourself or anyone else by trying to figure out if there were "signs of something wrong."
    So sad....Take Care....Hugs to you! icon_cry.gif