Do people often think that you're straight?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    Today I randomly came out to a friend, she looked at me in surprise and was like 'what! But you seem so straight!' (whatever that means).

    I always thought I acted slightly camp, I definitely have my gay moments lol. But perhaps some people can't see that...icon_confused.gif

    So are people normally surprised to find out that you're gay/bi? Would you prefer that people knew that you were gay from the get go?
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    yup, i just came out to a friend from hs. he said in all these years he never suspected once. My neighbour responded "that's why you're such a good cook and wear nice clothes" Ah, i laughed my ass off icon_cool.gifkeith
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    no
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    I had a guy in a gay bar once ask me if I was straight. He thought I was just there with some gay friends.
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    Hell yes people think I'm straight. I actually went to this LGBT 'gathering' or social meeting or whatever...actually i didn't go inside. I was late, for one thing. The other thing was that this receptionist, this young naive college girl said to me "Oh. wait! don't go in there...they are having an LGBT meeting."

    The way she said it pissed me off the the nth degree, because first of all; how can you tell if someone is gay. Second of all, it just really pissed me off. It made me sort of not even want to go in, after that point. I can guarantee you; I would get the same reaction from supposedly "gay" people in the meeting, if I went in. I've been around social events, and if I walked into that room, I can guarantee you I would get more than a few awkward stares from people trying to figure out what exactly I was doing there. Or analyzing me for some sign of "gayness". This happens to me ALL THE TIME when I'm around gay people and they know I'm gay. I can't stand it. Its like they are always watching me; just waiting for me to slip up once and do something 'feminine'. I can't fucking stand it. In a place where I am "supposed" to feel accepted and comfortable, I feel anything BUT.

    What defines gayness, anyhow? If you watch tv and listen to the media...or even subscribe to popular mainstream gay culture...they would have you believe that everyone is that one really gay guy on Will and Grace. Do you see gay men on tv who like sports, who didn't grow up playing with barbie dolls or acting girly all the time? No.


    Well. In a way we have done it to ourselves. That's one reason I HATE gay culture. And I am not self loathing; so fuck off if you had planned on telling me that I am. Mainstream gays perpetuate stereotypical attitudes and the whole philosophy is that of assimilation; not acceptance. Lady Gaga, tight jeans, a limp wrist, an accesory for a girl, a 'girly man' is my token for being accepted as having same sex attration? Get real. I have never EVER related to any of these things.

    I made a post about this earlier, in All things Gay forum. Apparently, no one thinks its an important topic.
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    Sep 27, 2010 10:53 PM GMT
    Sylas said

    What defines gayness, anyhow?


    A degree of physically sexual and emotional attraction to members of your own sex.
  • Iluros

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    Sep 27, 2010 11:04 PM GMT
    I like threads like these. The massive amount of self-fellating makes an ironic contrast to the subject matter of the indulgence, namely, not seeming ghey. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:07 PM GMT
    No, never. I have a manly voice and I'm masculine.

    No one has ever suspected a thing... but I fear when I'm 30-35 and not married or with a lady, it might be a little obvious.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    Sylas,

    I did see your other thread, did not comment there, but will here. It seems that the gays around you are not all that masculine acting, which puts you in an uncomfortable spot because you are masculine acting. Is that the issue?

    As much as you can tell from profiles here, it seems that a significant number of guys here, and I would bet in the community who are gay are very masculine. Look at the emphasis on fitness, for example.

    Am I missing the point?
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    Iluros saidI like threads like these. The massive amount of self-fellating makes an ironic contrast to the subject matter of the indulgence, namely, not seeming ghey. icon_lol.gif


    wtf,,,huh?
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:21 PM GMT
    Hell yeah I am insecure. I fully admit that i am.



    But its the feeling of constant "invisibility" my whole life that makes me doubt myself.


    I guess you are right, Its just no matter how many times I hear it, I still can't believe it or have confidence in myself for some reason. Its an ongoing issue.
    And dude the whole thing about attending the gay event or group meeting..I feel alot of guys in my position would back away for the same reasons I did. It sucks.



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    Sep 27, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    People always tend to think I'm straight. It's kind of annoying sometimes when I'm blatantly hitting on a guy and he thinks I'm just flirting like lots of straight guys do for fun. icon_lol.gif
  • OklahomaBreak...

    Posts: 167

    Sep 27, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    The "but you seem so straight" is the number one thing I am told when I come out to people. I have also been told I am the straightest gay guy one of my friends knows. While I have to agree that it is degrading to assume all gay men are stereotypes, I like it when people have the shock of finding out I'm not straight. It seems that it helps them to realize there is nothing wrong with being gay. The only difference between us is who I sleep with. With all the representations of gay in pop culture being overly stereotyped I do like that at least the people who know me can see being gay is as multifaceted as being straight.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    It's a trophy for many gay men, to be perceived as heterosexual. Sad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    How do you guys feel about attending LGBT events? Did you run into the same issues I did?
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Sep 27, 2010 11:34 PM GMT
    vetteset said
    Iluros saidI like threads like these. The massive amount of self-fellating makes an ironic contrast to the subject matter of the indulgence, namely, not seeming ghey. icon_lol.gif


    wtf,,,huh?


    Just a moment of presentiment. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    Iluros said
    vetteset said
    Iluros saidI like threads like these. The massive amount of self-fellating makes an ironic contrast to the subject matter of the indulgence, namely, not seeming ghey. icon_lol.gif


    wtf,,,huh?


    Just a moment of presentiment. icon_razz.gif


    I started to write a translation post to your post but it came off gauche.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 27, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    ..... always

    except when I have a dick in my mouth Hmmm ... Go Figure icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Sep 27, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    Iluros said
    vetteset said
    Iluros saidI like threads like these. The massive amount of self-fellating makes an ironic contrast to the subject matter of the indulgence, namely, not seeming ghey. icon_lol.gif


    wtf,,,huh?


    Just a moment of presentiment. icon_razz.gif


    I started to write a translation post to your post but it came off gauche.


    Oh, do post it anyway. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:49 PM GMT
    I don't think I'm being obvious, but apparently the vast majority of people can tell right away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    YES :p.... don't know why, but people never believe me when I say I'm gay before my friends say that it's really true :p! haha
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    Sep 28, 2010 12:11 AM GMT
    yes, girls hit on me often, i love it as i can flirt back and not worry about saying something stupid, ive got nothing to lose icon_razz.gif haha.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 28, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    Yeah and if I'm into her as well I go for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 12:16 AM GMT
    99 percent of the time unless Im wearing something that says "Im gay" on it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 12:18 AM GMT
    josephga saidI had a guy in a gay bar once ask me if I was straight. He thought I was just there with some gay friends.


    I got HIT on by a guy at a gay bar because he thought I was straight. When he found out I was gay he was uninterested.