Dating someone who's POZ

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    I've been told it's not that risky if you take proper precautions and that a Neg. person can still have a normal (albeit slightly different) relationship with an HIV Positive individual. Can ya'll enlighten me on this issue? What exactly do I need to look out for?...specifically the different types of sex done with such an individual (besides anal).

    I know I could google this, but I'm still new and not sure what sites are trustworthy when it comes to this information (and yet I'm asking for advice :lolicon_smile.gif
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Sep 28, 2010 12:42 PM GMT
    In some ways it's safer in that a HIV+ person is aware and therefore much more catious about the risks of passing it on, also in some cases meds can help lower the virus until it's undetectable which decreases the chance of it being passed on.

    Ont he other hand you could end up with a guy who doesn't know his status, (although there is no excuse in this day and age) who isn't as careful and who, if he does turn out to be HIV +, has a huge cell count and is very infectious.

    I dated a guy for a while who was + we didn't find out until about 2 months before we broke up but we always had safe anal sex anyway and I'm negative. Even after we found out his status I wasn't worried about being in a relationship with a HIV+ person, he was still the same guy, I was just worried about the emotional toll it would take on him.

    Really in my opinion all dating a HIV- does is make you more aware and careful, which is how it should be done anyway.

    It's personal choice at the end of the day but if I found out a new boyfriend was + it wouldn't change anything in my opinion.

    I apologise, I've not eaten much today and am not entirely sure I made much sense.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Sep 28, 2010 1:27 PM GMT
    Just have fun. If you like the guy, have fun. You the precautions and don't let that status hinder you from getting to know an awesome guy!
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    Sep 28, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    Just talk to a doctor and get the facts or there's tons of information on the internet. Going straight to the source of that medical information is probably the best route.

    I have lots of friends who are seroconverted, one is positive one is negative and they are very much in love and have a normal and happy relationship.

    One told me about his partner, 'you don't stop loving somebody just because they are sick' and that stuck in my mind. What a compassionate and loving thing to say.

    Rather than rely on third person advice you should just educate yourself with the wealth of information available online.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 2:20 PM GMT has a wealth of resources for learning about HIV. They have entire sections devoted to "magnet couples" (where one is positive, the other is negative).

    You can read about it here:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 3:17 PM GMT
    I have to agree with most of the guys on this thread. Education is the most important tool for staying protected and negative. Catching HIV is no longer necessarily a death sentence, but it IS a life long prison sentence that I would not wish on ANYONE.

    My doctor has told me that its next to improbable or near impossible for me to infect a partner since I have been undetectable for nearly 15 years. But what keeps looming in my head is Near and Next to... its not definite. And that makes me more afraid to date a Neg guy than another poz guy. Plus when they check my viral load every six months, they check my blood, they don't check my semen. So how can I actually be sure there is nothing there? So protection is ALWAYS of the utmost importance.

    I have dated several negative guys and most of the time, once you get through the first couple of months, its not as much of a big deal. You remember why your with them in the first place... the attraction, the love, the chemistry.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2010 3:36 PM GMT
    RowBuddy said
    6. Oral counts as sex! Use a dental dam.

    I had no idea what this was until I looked it up. I'm thinking there is no way something like that would be practical in a sexual situation. It looks a bit cumbersome.
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    Apr 19, 2013 3:08 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Report spam, guys....this guy is just going to keep necro'ing every pos thread he can find to spam his site. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Already did it in several places.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11556

    Apr 22, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    You prolly already have dated a pos (or both) of ya'll just don't know it yet.