Are we doing enough to reach out to young gays

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    I know we all carry our problems on our backs and have a load of issues to deal with daily but one of the issues that has been on my heart for a long long time is young people struggling with their sexuality with no place to turn. I was one of those, growing up in the 60s and 70s with absolutely no one to talk to. Since i've been on RJ, i've come across the same guys, different time with the same problem. I counselled troubled gay teens on line a couple of years ago and the issues have not changed over the years.

    We seem to want the world to know about us but in turn are maybe forgetting these kids in our own efforts to be recognized. I know that there are some new programs available but I am wondering on a personal level, which is where every movement begins, are YOU doing your part to ease their pain?

    As always, I welcome your intelligent input.....Keithicon_cool.gif
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Sep 29, 2010 4:26 AM GMT
    It's a noble idea. But most are too broken up themselves to piece together others.
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    Sep 29, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    I don't know about teens, given the age limitation of RJ, but many young guys start threads describing problems, and the responses are generally substantial. Emailing for additional discussion also possible. I think this is an excellent resource to address the issue.
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    Sep 29, 2010 1:44 PM GMT
    The youth of today have far more resources to reach out than we did... the internet plays a pivotal role...

    But my thoughts are that we don't do enough.. so until we finally achieve full equality, this is the message, as a community, that we need to be sending our youth...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAfZhjUVlWE&feature=player_embedded

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    Sep 29, 2010 1:50 PM GMT
    I do, but it's not so much here on RJ. I have another forum where I do that kind of work.
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    Sep 29, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    We do whatever we can, whenever we can. This place is a good start.

    -Doug
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Sep 29, 2010 2:27 PM GMT
    I have been working with school systems and the provincial government since I was 14 doing workshops. I have noticed one thing, and forgive me for being so shallow, but the majority of volunteers tend to be some combination of very feminine, physically unappealing, socially awkward, or old enough to make their experiences a little bit jaded and irrelevant.

    WHich leads to a large number of younger gay men viewing homosexuality as a lonely thing. I've spoken to the kids I've worked with, they all want role models, not merely teachers. They want masculine guys, because they are not all very femme. They want people, for whom being gay is not their sole purpose of existence. They want people who are younger, went through something similar, fairly recently
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Sep 29, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    Alot more can and needs to be done...recently a friend of mine posted this link for the "It Gets Better Project" on Facebook and it was such great selfless idea I had to share it, and fwd'd it to my friends who work at the San Diego Pride office...so hopefully it will take off here as well. But we'll see...

    Heres the link:
    http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

    Good ideas need to be helped along as much as possible. This one is for Chicago residents on Oct. 3rd but hopefully if enough people see it and like the idea, it will spread to other cities. The idea is to stop bullying and let those who are victims of homophobic bullying know that it does actually get better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Although I never had to deal with those issues... I figured out I was gay when I was 9...didn't become sexually active until I was 17...but never had too many problems connecting with my sexuality.

    I DO think that this is a great idea...but have no clue as to where to go to offer help. Online?? They would probably take me for a DOM, which is far from the truth..."kids" never interested me in the slightest, even when I was that age I always preferred the company of older, more experienced men.

    The YouTube link "It gets better" is an excellent source for this...but how do you get the message out there to those in need??
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    Sep 29, 2010 3:03 PM GMT
    vetteset saidI know we all carry our problems on our backs and have a load of issues to deal with daily but one of the issues that has been on my heart for a long long time is young people struggling with their sexuality with no place to turn. I was one of those, growing up in the 60s and 70s with absolutely no one to talk to. Since i've been on RJ, i've come across the same guys, different time with the same problem. I counselled troubled gay teens on line a couple of years ago and the issues have not changed over the years.

    We seem to want the world to know about us but in turn are maybe forgetting these kids in our own efforts to be recognized. I know that there are some new programs available but I am wondering on a personal level, which is where every movement begins, are YOU doing your part to ease their pain?

    As always, I welcome your intelligent input.....Keithicon_cool.gif


    As a young gay man myself I found websites like this provide wonderful resources to help one become more comfortable in their sexuality. It was powerful enough to make me come out to my friends a couple of days ago. And since then I've been telling more and more people. It's great to have gay forums because it allows you to be who you are, say what you want, talk about gay stuff without needing to feel ashamed about it.

    I think the most difficult part was when I was around 13-17, this is the period where we start developing and get to know ourselves. But it's crushing when what you know about yourself isn't accepted and you feel different and segregated from the 'norm'. Young teens are very impressionable, they really need role models in their lives in order to feel more comfortable.

    How can young gay teens feel comfortable with their sexuality when it seems like there's no one around to talk to about it?
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    Sep 29, 2010 3:10 PM GMT
    Off topic a bit, I remember a few years back reading a news story about two gay teenagers who committed suicide after one of the boy's family had decided to move to another city. Neither family knew the boys were gay or were in love with each other. Rather than be split apart they committed suicide together.

    It was completely tragic.
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    Sep 29, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    CaliBoySwag saidOff topic a bit, I remember a few years back reading a news story about two gay teenagers who committed suicide after one of the boy's family had decided to move to another city. Neither family knew the boys were gay or were in love with each other. Rather than be split apart they committed suicide together.

    It was completely tragic.


    There have been straight teens who have done the same thing. Actually, the suicide rate among teenagers is extremely high... these kids don't think they have anything to live for...global warming, epidemics, too many wars..that we are losing.. I wouldn't go back to being young again for all of the fame and fortune in the entire world.
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    Sep 29, 2010 3:23 PM GMT
    Committing suicide (to my shame) had crossed my mind a few times when I was around 16. But it's a difficult time, everything's such a mess and it's hard to find out where you are in life at that point in time.

    My lowest point was when the guy I had a crush on for 3 years, whom I thought was gay turned out to be straight. Well I can't be 100 per cent sure about that, but the fact that he dated a girl was enough to crush my heart. I really thought I had received signals from him that he liked me. I thought that I;d finally found someone. But it was all my imagination.

    The difficult thing is that you can't just go up to the guy and say 'I like you' to his face like our straight counterparts could do. So it makes it that much harder...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    Having no children of my own. I am not responsible for others child, albeit my taxes house, educate, and feed, many children; so I'm doing my bit.

    Albeit I work with a young gay man, and he knows he can come and talk with me anytime he needs to. But......not long ago one of our female co/worker was have some light hearted fun with him, and he would not go with it. She told him, I would, and I have. He just said: But I am not as secure as him; me. But I can't give that to him, thats something that will come to him with time age and experiences in life.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 30, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    A young Rutgers student committed suicide after his roomate secretly video taped him kissing a guy. His roomate went on to post the video and tweet about it. Very sad!!!icon_idea.gif
  • swimmerguy83

    Posts: 16

    Sep 30, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    Hey Vetteset,

    I liked your post. I'm 27 and i've had some really close older guy friends who have helped given me some solid support, and i am always open to finding others who can be supportive.

    When I hear about kids younger than me going through the pains of growing up, I'm always happy to relate to them about the struggles i've dealt with. And as I am getting older and more secure in myself, I feel by living my life to its fullest, I can show and help others how to be themselves.
  • joncfernan

    Posts: 216

    Sep 30, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    I volunteer with a GLBTQ youth organization dedicated to helping kids out with exactly these sort of problems. I recently made a documentary for them (check it out below - i also give a decent tour lol). If you guys know of any in the South Fl area - send them over. Theres always help everywhere icon_smile.gif

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    Sep 30, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    76coopers saidThe youth of today have far more resources to reach out than we did... the internet plays a pivotal role...

    But my thoughts are that we don't do enough.. so until we finally achieve full equality, this is the message, as a community, that we need to be sending our youth...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAfZhjUVlWE&feature=player_embedded



    I couldn't agree more that they have more resources...but kids are kids and they still have to feel secure enough within themselves to go for these resources and so many are not doing that. I know, I did one on one with them and they are no different than I was...scared shitless to move...Keithicon_cool.gif