gay bullying

  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Sep 29, 2010 11:09 PM GMT
    I keep reading these articles about gay young ppl being literally bullied to death/suicide....I just saw the Rutgers article with the taped sex scene and a friend of mine just posted a story on fbook of a 13 year old boy (8th grade) who was gay, being tormented so badly @school that he went home and shot himself in the head.....
    .....Reading things like this or seeing them on the news has been making me reaaaally sad....Whats the answer to stuff like this? Sometimes I feel like a male athlete or celeb with some sort of peer power needs to come out and speak out against stuff like this
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Sep 29, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    I totally agree. We need more prominent figures in the media. Things are getting better over time but that shit wont end until we seriously change peoples views on sexuality in general.


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    Sep 29, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    It's tragic. With the appeals of equal rights for homosexuals more and more on the front page of daily news I often wonder if these are the results of the hating opposition. Is progress on the equality front intensifying the vileness of those who hate? I guess bullying happens to anyone in school, gay or straight, but I fear homosexual youth, especially early youth, is beginning to feel a stronger wrath.
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    Sep 29, 2010 11:43 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidIt's tragic. With the appeals of equal rights for homosexuals more and more on the front page of daily news I often wonder if these are the results of the hating opposition. Is progress on the equality front intensifying the vileness of those who hate? I guess bullying happens to anyone in school, gay or straight, but I fear homosexual youth, especially early youth, is beginning to feel a stronger wrath.


    Unfortunately, I think you are right. The more visible we become, we present a bigger target to those who would deny us our rights. We become the "other" and can be blamed for all sorts of things...which leads to violent attacks. I've seen it happen to many groups. For example, when illegal immigration became a hot topic there were some violent attacks on immigrants in NY. Since April, there have been at least 11 attacks on Mexican immigrants and one white gay couple in Staten Island.

    Some want us to stay hidden, to crawl under a rock and become invisible again. They don't see the correlation between the lies they spread about us and the violence directed at us.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Sep 29, 2010 11:48 PM GMT
    It is a sad thing to hear about. i think alot of it is the bully is in the closet and just a stupid person. i do have to say thought if u dont give off the submissive side then they have a tendence to leave u alone. I will agree though that it is a shitty thing that a person canbe the mean and rude that they r not happy unless they r pushing someone around. the only other thing that can be said is that they lack self confidence.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Sep 30, 2010 12:18 AM GMT
    safety43 saidIt is a sad thing to hear about. i think alot of it is the bully is in the closet and just a stupid person. i do have to say thought if u dont give off the submissive side then they have a tendence to leave u alone. I will agree though that it is a shitty thing that a person canbe the mean and rude that they r not happy unless they r pushing someone around. the only other thing that can be said is that they lack self confidence.


    very true, some people just get off on making others miserable. its sad
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    Sep 30, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidWhats the answer to stuff like this?
    Retaliation.
    If we can get more gays to adopt a more self-defensively violent mindset [such as the "butch/militant" lesbian stereotype], the bullies will stop picking on them.
    Nobody fucks with the militant lesbians.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:18 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidIt's tragic. With the appeals of equal rights for homosexuals more and more on the front page of daily news I often wonder if these are the results of the hating opposition. Is progress on the equality front intensifying the vileness of those who hate? I guess bullying happens to anyone in school, gay or straight, but I fear homosexual youth, especially early youth, is beginning to feel a stronger wrath.


    I too get the feeling that those with the most hate are using their children to target the most vulnerable of our population!
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Sep 30, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 said
    safety43 saidIt is a sad thing to hear about. i think alot of it is the bully is in the closet and just a stupid person. i do have to say thought if u dont give off the submissive side then they have a tendence to leave u alone. I will agree though that it is a shitty thing that a person canbe the mean and rude that they r not happy unless they r pushing someone around. the only other thing that can be said is that they lack self confidence.


    very true, some people just get off on making others miserable. its sad


    u r so true it is sad and just plan stupid. lack of self confidence is what it is.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:04 PM GMT
    One of the persons who tormented me the most in school later became a minister. I was really hoping I would see him at my high school reunion so I could talk to him about the bullying but he wasn't there.

    It was very healing for me to go to my reunion, however, especially seeing how many turned out. I wound up feeling sad for so many who were divorced, alcoholic, unemployed, or overweight. Many never moved out of my hometown of 25,000. I realized that I am a much stronger person because I learned to overcome what happened to me and to be living the life I dreamed of but didn't think was possible.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidWhats the answer to stuff like this?
    Retaliation.


    blood in the streets
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidIt's tragic. With the appeals of equal rights for homosexuals more and more on the front page of daily news I often wonder if these are the results of the hating opposition. Is progress on the equality front intensifying the vileness of those who hate? I guess bullying happens to anyone in school, gay or straight, but I fear homosexual youth, especially early youth, is beginning to feel a stronger wrath.


    I think you're right, after all, if a retreating enemy is backed into a corner, he'll fight with more resolve than he's ever had.

    Partially this is a good thing, cause it means the haters are in fact backed in a corner, and they're about to lose the war, say in the next 10 years or so (in the "normal" countries of this world anyway)

    The bad news is that it probably means a whole generation of gay kids will be even more traumatized than some of the people who came before them.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:23 PM GMT
    I hate hearing about kids committing suicide or being bullied for being gay. I 100% agree that there needs to be some athlete/celebrity to step up and really be the face of a gay role model for people, especially younger kids. I wish i had a role model to look up to so bad, i really want to somehow become a role model for others. It's very hard tho with no platform.

    One thing that is helpful is going on youtube and listening to some guys talk about their experiences and how things worked out for them. Hopefully in the future someone will step up to the plate, they have to. icon_exclaim.gif
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Sep 30, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    The families of these kids need to raise holy hell. They need to sue these schools that systematically refused to do their jobs and protect all of their students. Keep in mind that bullying can happen to any kids, not just the gay ones. There was a kid in Indiana a few weeks ago who killed himself in his family's barn as a result of being tormented at school. The school principal pretty much blames the gay kid for being tormented in a television interview, if he'd just have been less conspicuous none of this would have happened. That a school official would be stupid enough to say these things on-camera to be broadcast on television is mind-boggling. Parents have got to take these clowns down. Prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. Sue their asses for as much money as they possibly can. These school districts need to be punished as hard as is possible. They need to be made an example of so other school districts and administrators will be afraid to let bullying go on in their schools. They must be held accountable.

    I've attached a link to a local Indiana newscast in which the school principal all but says "he had it coming" as it relates to the suicide that occurred on his watch.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp3qlx1D_bA
  • misternick

    Posts: 234

    Sep 30, 2010 5:35 PM GMT
    I think the "they're fighting harder because they're scared" theory holds water, too. There're signs of progress being made everywhere, and you don't have to look too far; there's stuff on tv today that probably wouldn't have aired ten years ago and would've been impossible twenty years ago.

    Maybe we're seeing more crisis in gay youth because there's more "gay youth" that we know of? What if some of the kids being bullied for being openly gay, or aren't "out" but act on it, are doing things they wouldn't have if they grew up a few decades ago?

    I have some friends that are old enough to tell me that I have it easier than they did, especially in a city like Charlotte that's become much more metropolitan and contemporary in the past few years. And they tell me that they had it easier than their friends who grew up in previous decades to them!

    My point is, on top of the horrible reasons we've thought of, maybe there are more victims because there are more targets? (Incidentally, I haven't checked any numbers on how many attacks have been made/reported recently versus previously or anything, this is all guess work)

    Of course, I'm not making excuses or rationalizations. Especially in the light of recent events, the thought of kids bullying kids makes me sick. But this could be a sign of transition and we need to respond by helping projects and efforts to protect these kids that are struggling with who they are at such a young age.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:37 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 said..Whats the answer to stuff like this? Sometimes I feel like a male athlete or celeb with some sort of peer power needs to come out and speak out against stuff like this


    I was a skinny, pale, yellow haired, scared, weak target for bullies when I was 9. Just so long as I handed over my lunch money, I wasn't beat up. Then, the bullies wanted more and more money each morning. I finally ran dry of money and got beat up pretty badly one day on my way home from school. I had been threatened by the bullies that if I told a teacher or anyone else about this I'd be a dead boy. My grandfather (who was only 50 something then, and in great physical condition) saw me limping home - barely able to walk - bleeding profusely. He got me medical help.

    Then something good happened. My grandfather began to teach me to fight and box. We worked for a few hard weeks on getting my confidence up and getting me into condition to stand up for myself. When school started again and the bullies hassled me, I fought the main one and kicked his ass......right in front of his fellow bullies and other kids on the playground. I had not been sure I could pull this off, but I did. Nothing made me feel better - - and more importantly, I'm convinced NOTHING could have worked better to put a stop to the bullying and harassment.

    I wish every young, weak, pale, gay little boy could learn to toughen up and put a stop to rotten kids who seek out those they know can't defend themselves. You notice a bully rarely chooses to pick on a tough kid - one with confidence and strength. The answer is a strong defense, IMO.
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    Sep 30, 2010 5:52 PM GMT
    Bullying period needs to stop! There is quite a bit of bullying and nashing that goes on this site fellas. I find it disheartening, that we as a people prey on others we can't or won't defend themselves.

    I think they are all cowards!
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Sep 30, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    My sister actually called me this morning and told me that a friend of hers at school in RI hung himself in his dorm. He was tortured by kids for being gay and atheist.....hearin stuff like this hurts. I would love to come across a kid bein bullied, id go to town on the guys that were doin it
  • Tallflex

    Posts: 2

    Sep 30, 2010 6:04 PM GMT
    TREVORPROJECT.ORG


  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Sep 30, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    Kids sometimes are targets because they are visible and don't know how to have an identity that doesn't profess their sexuality first. Less flame and more fame maybe. If it were possible, from within our own community, resolve our own issues and infighting as adults about the masculine gay male. Being masculine isn't anti-gay.

    My friends aren't smokers, drug-users, alcoholics, bible thumpers, flamboyant, or nelly... because these are the things I choose not to surround myself... Being out and being masculine is possible.

    Let us settle our differences and show them you can be a jock, play on a baseball team, wrestle, and still be happy with yourself. You don't have to be out, loud, and proud to be gay. The vocal minority is not the identity of the majority. Lisps and affected mannerisms are not who we are, but what some feel the need to be. I fear that the younger guys are coming to terms with who they are and struggle with a self-image they feel they need to project to affirm who they are. Positive examples aren't going to be effective for them. They will be substantially effective for the public.

    We hurt. We want civil unions. We want to be legally recognized. How much of our own activity as a community makes a step forward and a step backwards.

    Give me a pride parade where everyone is dressed in suits, work uniforms, as a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, a custodian. Granted all wearing smartly tailored clothes, with good shoes and great music, but make John Q. Public wonder. "What the hell were we worried about?"

    With deep and abiding reverence my sincerest sympathies to the families who have lost a young, talented, bright mind to such a horrible fate.

    When did human life stop being precious?icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    A kick ass approach to defending themselves.

    Really... I know kids are taught non-violence and blah blah blah, but a war or words can really turn a tide around in a school. I wouldn't have lasted had I not adjusted and told some bigots off about their own stuff...but kids aren't taught that. They're told just to let themselves be tortured and tell a teacher, and most punishments a teacher or the principle hands out are never enough to actually teach the lesson and the torture gets worse.

    Zero tolerance is supposed to mean zero tolerance and it isn't being held up.
    Our problem isn't with our youth, it starts from the top down.
  • cmdrkoenig67

    Posts: 163

    Sep 30, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    It's very sad....That poor kid. I think I know how he felt, though.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Sep 30, 2010 6:20 PM GMT
    I don't think the answer is or should ever be that young men should "become more masculine"

    U gotta be who you are, thats why these kids are gettin beat up and what not, cause theyre being themselves.

    Im a pretty "masculine" guy but thats just me, if your personality is more flamboyant and out there I feel theres nothing wrong with that. I LOVE guys like that, its interesting. If everyone was the same itd be a boring world
  • cmdrkoenig67

    Posts: 163

    Sep 30, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    I agree...People should just be themselves...Nelly or not. Being anything other than yourself is being a traitor to yourself and a liar to the world.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    i feel for any kid that is bullied. regardless of sexuality, race, gender, or social group. it's just horrible that those things can go further than it has to go.

    on MTV's show "If You Really Knew Me", it helped a lot of kids open up, and even showed homosexual teens and all the kids have the same feelings sometimes. they are a lot similar, and many kids actually apologized on their bullying and all that. soon everyone respects each other and even became friends with those who are different from the social groups. It would be awesome if they had those in every school