Being Alone

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    I'm going to plagarize a small part of another poster's thread because this has really struck me as sad. With so many absolutely kick ass gorgeous guys here on RJ, some physically so and some intellectually so and some both, many, many are without boyfriends or partners and are 'desperately seeking Simon' so to speak.

    The other poster's thread revealed many were afraid of being alone and/or dying alone. It is obviously a very real concern and I would like, as usual, your intellectual feedback on why so many of you feel this way....gentleman, the floor is open.....Keithicon_cool.gif

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    Sep 30, 2010 6:10 AM GMT
    I don't fear dying alone. When it's time to go, it's time to go.
    I also don't fear being alone. In fact, I enjoy it. It allows me time to pursue creative projects.
    However, if someone ends up being by my side during my dying days (assuming it won't be unexpected and instant), I'd love them even more for sticking by me till the end.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Sep 30, 2010 6:13 AM GMT
    Well, as the deep stuck-up sceptical scientific that I am, I don't believe in life after death. To me it's just a fantasy to recomfort the fear of death and losing who you are, you've been, and you'll ever be. It's a psychological defense system.

    I would like to believe that there is SOMETHING after life, I read a lot of witnesses of it, but still, I won't believe it until I see it. And until then, I'll be affraid of death. And of course, I sure HOPE there's something.

    This said, considering that death is a very lonesome experience, we as human don't want to spend the end of our lives alone. Who would, anyway? Life is a social experience, and we should enjoy this opportunity until the very end of it.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    I'm by myself most of the day every day. It's how I grew up, so it's what's comfortable and normal for me. I appreciate someone else's company when I have it. I couldn't be one of those people who are in stimulated social situations 24/7.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:18 AM GMT
    I think everyday that I could possibly get hit by a car riding my bike to school. This doesn't bother me because at least I'm trying. I'm happy everyday in my own skin. I absolutely love myself at this point in my life.

    There's nothing better than solitude. If the right person comes along again then so be it. If not, that's okay too. I never get lonely. I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:20 AM GMT
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:22 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.


    Haha, That's why you never give her up. It's important to keep your chops.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:24 AM GMT
    "Two can be as bad as one."
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:25 AM GMT
    It's like Tennessee said "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."

    Respect to the Suicide Project and all of these great resources that weren't around when I was a kid. These folks today have a hell of a lot more resources and the cries for help never need to go unheard.

    For all those in lesser shades of loneliness, love yo'self enough, or don't expect other people to.
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:30 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.


    Never, ever fails to get me rolling, my beautiful guy.....get it down, a whole chapter about dating a piano.....icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    vetteset said
    Ciarsolo said
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.


    Never, ever fails to get me rolling, my beautiful guy.....get it down, a whole chapter about dating a piano.....icon_cool.gif


    Hah, I think she dumped me because I wanted to experiment in college and get her to do all this kinky Brahms stuff...we had a fight and that was that!
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Sep 30, 2010 6:40 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    vetteset said
    Ciarsolo said
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.


    Never, ever fails to get me rolling, my beautiful guy.....get it down, a whole chapter about dating a piano.....icon_cool.gif


    Hah, I think she dumped me because I wanted to experiment in college and get her to do all this kinky Brahms stuff...we had a fight and that was that!


    Hmmm... Then I guess I'm a wife-beater ?

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    Sep 30, 2010 6:40 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    vetteset said
    Ciarsolo said
    hauptstimme said I have a beautiful best friend that is my piano. She does something truly amazing for me. She listens to me, but only responds with the warmest, richest tone I've ever heard. I don't think I could ask for anything more.


    She's an unforgiving bitch. We dated for 10 years and now she acts like we've never met.


    Never, ever fails to get me rolling, my beautiful guy.....get it down, a whole chapter about dating a piano.....icon_cool.gif


    Hah, I think she dumped me because I wanted to experiment in college and get her to do all this kinky Brahms stuff...we had a fight and that was that!


    and this is why I have the three B's forever branded on my body. Writing a thesis on 32 measures of Debussy made me do it.
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    Sep 30, 2010 7:18 AM GMT
    Alright you silly fucks this ain't Pirates of the Caribbean, hijack someone elses thread....back to topic.....serious faces and minds if at all possibleicon_cool.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 7:43 AM GMT
    1) I don't know what to do. Refer 2.
    2) I don't have the "ideal" look. Refer 3.
    3) Refer 1.

    Ok, I'm not been totally serious. I thought this forum is pretty resourceful at times and also generally quite fun, especially the non-adult chat room, but it doesn't appear to be an effective channel for online dating.
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    Sep 30, 2010 8:00 AM GMT
    chrixx said1) I don't know what to do. Refer 2.
    2) I don't have the "ideal" look. Refer 3.
    3) Refer 1.

    Ok, I'm not been totally serious. I thought this forum is pretty resourceful at times and also generally quite fun, especially the non-adult chat room, but it doesn't appear to be an effective channel for online dating.
    It really helps to be in a prime location, or willing and able to travel.
    There are great guys on here...lots of success stories.
    And the beauty of it is its diversity. Whether you're looking for monogamy, polygamy, hookups, or platonic friendships, they're all here.
    I <3 RJ. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 12:03 PM GMT
    there are alot of really good guys on here, problem is RJ isnt a local site its a global site so the chances of one beng near me is slim.
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    Sep 30, 2010 12:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI don't fear dying alone. When it's time to go, it's time to go.
    I also don't fear being alone. In fact, I enjoy it. It allows me time to pursue creative projects.
    However, if someone ends up being by my side during my dying days (assuming it won't be unexpected and instant), I'd love them even more for sticking by me till the end.


    same for me icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    I would rather die young which is why I am a reckless fool. I have no fear of death but I am a risk taker in life. No risk, no rewards.

    I have broken so many bones and have so many steel reinforced parts, from climbing accidents to surfing accidents, I broke my neck once when I got sucked up into a huge tube and slammed against the reef, almost drowned too many times to count; no I'm not paralyzed, and I broke my back and my pelvis when I fell off a granite faced wall that I was climbing barefoot 100 feet straight up, another time I fell off a suspension bridge when I climbed over it and started making my way across it using my hands to swing from cable to cable, broke my arm and my legs, both compound fractures, too much to list.

    I had a friend in san diego who got hit by a bus while standing on a street corner and killed.

    Life is full of risks. Take them. Own it. Who the fuck cares. You're going to die anyway, you might as well enjoy the short time you have and make the most of life and make it what you want it to be.

    Be fearless and strong and brave. I read about too many men who are afraid of this, or afraid of that, or afraid of the unknown. Got news for you, you start to die the minute you're born. you start to age the moment you are conceived. It is inevitable, like Andy Warhol painted in one of his pictures of a white cross on a black background.

    We are mortal. Growing old and dying alone doesn't scare me, but living a life unrealized, does.

    I've spent most of my life alone. I value and cherish my kid and that will give me unconditional love and respect for my entire life, that's sufficient. I don't need a partner or a boyfriend to make me feel complete or whole. I just need a tasty wave and a warm sandy beach.
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    Sep 30, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    I believe we are all here for a purpose
    That purpose shall reveal itself in time
    -not necessarily our time
    as it says in my profile die young, win fame
    die old and you might as well be forgotten....
    .....unless you leave a lasting legacy behind!
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    Sep 30, 2010 1:23 PM GMT
    There is however a certain solitude in being alone, just remember to leave your heart open, otherwise you will be alone for eternity!
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    Sep 30, 2010 1:23 PM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said...
    We are mortal. Growing old and dying alone doesn't scare me, but living a life unrealized, does.


    Reminds me of a great verse that I was told about once upon a time:

    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
    But rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming,

    WOW !!!! What a ride!

    icon_wink.gif
  • mdswimmer

    Posts: 21

    Sep 30, 2010 1:26 PM GMT
    Been thinking about this a lot myself. I think the fear of being alone stems from not having kids. My ex didn't want any, and now it's too late for me. I made my peace with it and cherish both my alone time and my time with friends. I know that i felt very alone even while i was in a relationship, so a partner is not necessarily the answer. Learning to love yourself and being yourself helps!
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Sep 30, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    There's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. I don't think that being alone is a huge issue (for me, anyway). Though I have a large circle of wonderful friends, I like my alone time. There's certainly room in my life to share with a special guy, but he hasn't come along yet, so I don't sweat it.

    I have to say that I have only felt truly lonely once or twice in my life. I think that feeling lonely is a "mind over matter" thing, much like feeling bored (which I never am--too many fun things to do!).
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    Sep 30, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    They'll know I'm dead, when the flies cover the windows! ... icon_eek.gif