I'm Not Obligated...

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 30, 2010 7:34 PM GMT
    Okay so a friend of mine (female) was recently told by another friend (also female), that she thinks her boyfriend may be gay because he dances at a gay bar where men fondle his package for tips, shaves (pubes, arms etc.) and on every facebook photo he states his stats including that he is straight, and also majors in theater. So this friend calls me going off talking about if there is a possibility that her boyfriend may be gay, as a friend I should have told her icon_eek.gif. I personally feel that it is not my job to out anyone, and if the man claims he's straight, then he's straight. All of the things I listed above she knew about, so she should have been able to come to her own conclusions. I feel like she's trying to project her anger for him out on me, and she actually stopped speaking to me because of this icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    I don't this you should get involved, Like you said she knows about the stuff you listed.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 30, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    josephga saidI don't this you should get involved, Like you said she knows about the stuff you listed.


    Thank you and that's why I did not comment on this situation whatsoever, and I did not appreciate her trying to drag me in to it. I'm not the gay police, responsible for outing every and any closeted individual.
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    Sep 30, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    none of your affair, if she stopped talking to you, tell her to fuck off and go back to kindergarten where she belongs....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 8:26 PM GMT
    Well, I guess he is available now. Go date him yourself. You're mot obligated tho. icon_wink.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Sep 30, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    The bitch is crazy...be happy for small favors brah....BUD
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    Sep 30, 2010 10:08 PM GMT
    I once tried to tell a friend in college that her boyfriend was cruising the parks and other places and I managed to bungle the whole thing. He eventually came out but I realized that in these types of cases it's the messenger who gets shot.
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    Sep 30, 2010 10:12 PM GMT
    lissenup saidI once tried to tell a friend in college that her boyfriend was cruising the parks and other places and I managed to bungle the whole thing. He eventually came out but I realized that in these types of cases it's the messenger who gets shot.

    Yup. Best not to get involved. Even if they say something or ask afterward just be "shocked". Ask for details and put it behind you.
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    Sep 30, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like you need smarter friends.
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    Sep 30, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    Stereotypes. icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 30, 2010 10:21 PM GMT
    Dude, that is her problem if she chooses not to see the signs and shame on her to listening to her gossipy friend who seems to have some issues as well. Having said that, what is wrong with a straight guy dancing at a gay bar and so what if his major is in theater? Sounds like a good combo since a lot of gay men are often attracted to straight men and love the thought of being the "one" who converts them and I'm sure with all that money he is making he is putting it to good use and getting a lot of school bills paid off and probably buying her stuff too. He seems pretty secure with himself and seems to know what he is doing. Plus he gets to act out on stage and gets a paid for it too.

    Your female friend sounds very self-sabotaging, paranoid and very insecure with herself. If she has issues and suspicions then she should just "woman" up and ask him what the deal is otherwise she is going to be the one that ruins both relationships: The with her BF and the one with you as her friend since she seems to be taking her anger out on you over something you have no control over.

    You don't need friends like that.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 30, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys, I've washed my hands of her and this drama, there has been rumors about him circulating for quite some time now, another friend of mine (gay male) told her how he saw him dancing at a club once and bragged about how he played with his balls like they were a set of marbles, once again she didn't address it, I refuse to allow her to take her frustrations over this situation out on me.
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    Sep 30, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    NyRuinz said
    josephga saidI don't this you should get involved, Like you said she knows about the stuff you listed.


    Thank you and that's why I did not comment on this situation whatsoever, and I did not appreciate her trying to drag me in to it. I'm not the gay police, responsible for outing every and any closeted individual.


    Youre right to do this. And the fact that shes projecting her anger out at you, shes being unfair and obviously not your friend.
    Tell her this;
    WOMAN'S INTUITION, USE IT!
    DUMB BITCH!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 01, 2010 12:16 AM GMT
    If you had told her he was gay, she would have probably hated you for trying to destroy her relationship.
    And, since you didn't tell her, she hates you, anyway.
    This person is not a friend.
    Get rid of her and her soap opera of a life.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Oct 01, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    This is for the woman and her boyfriend, not an outsider, to sort out.

    The fact that she is not speaking to you is strongly to your advantage. Turn and walk away quickly. Be glad of it.

    WHEN will people learn that relationship situations are between those related and that third parties arbitrate these things only in high school and soap operas
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 01, 2010 12:54 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidIf you had told her he was gay, she would have probably hated you for trying to destroy her relationship.
    And, since you didn't tell her, she hates you, anyway.
    This person is not a friend.
    Get rid of her and her soap opera of a life.


    Amen Webster!!!
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    Oct 01, 2010 12:56 AM GMT
    She sounds like a bitch. If I were her boyfriend, I'd turn gay too. icon_lol.gif