Many gay folk are deeply self-loathing, under-confident, and have poor self-esteem, coupled with an underlying resentment of those who do.
Pictureless, profileless, discreet, not out, and so on, exemplify this.
Self-confidence, and the ability to laugh at oneself, without stooping to the low level of decorum that the self-haters do, is a trait that many would do better to have.
What the self-loathing fag perceives as arrogance, many a successful person would regard as confidence and drive.
If you don't believe in yourself, and have that low esteem of the aforementioned, it makes for a lot of low level anger.
I'm constantly amazed at the number of strangers who lash out in jealousy, even to the point of fixation, even when afforded a high degree of decorum.
That's projection, and transformation.
For whatever reason, many gay folks create a self-imposed misery for themselves. Some invite it, and others aren't happy unless they're miserable, paranoid, and the like. It's an unfortunate reality.
That's just stupid.
Many folks are attracted to confidence / leadership at the low levels, but, many gay folks have thrown out any sense of esteem and confidence, in favor of an anything goes mentality. That, too, is unfortunate, and only makes the issue worse.
I love the comment, "I don't want to be big" as someone undresses me with their eyes.
Sometimes, people will go on and on, in adoration, and I point out that it's all by design...science. Then, they'll ask me what kind of guys I like, and I reply "guys like me". Invariably, for the insecure, the person that was just spewing me with adoration goes ballastic, and goes into a rant about what a horrible person I am, because they don't fit my criteria. Go figure.
A few times a week, I'll get hate email, and not from the one or two mentally ill folks we all know, but, from someone just passing by...a total stranger, lashing out at me, based soley on my appearance. My friend Matt, and I, were discussing this today at the gym.
Deeply insecure folks do some strange shit.