The Rutgers suicide viewed from the other side

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    A view of the Rutgers suicide as seen by the crowd over at a car forum I participate in.

    http://www.8thcivic.com/forums/topic/228971-rutgers-suicide-who-fault.html

    Some quotes from the thread:

    - Suicide is a cowards way out in my opinion. Life is rough, people will talk about you, make fun of you, things wont always go your way... move on. How bad could this guys life have been? He's attending Rutgers which costs about 12k a semester. Im not saying that means life is great and he has no problems but PLENTY of people have it much worse than it seems this guy did and they arent jumping off bridges.

    - Discrimination is simply a part of life. When I drive or walk through certain parts of Boston, I get dirty looks and people yell things at me because of my skin color. When I was living in NY, I actually got kicked out of a bar once, because of my skin color. Being that I am heterosexual , I could not work in the porn industry. Being that I am a male, I am not allowed to work the front store/restaurant at Hooters nor Victoria Secret.

    This is just how life is.

    What is truly discriminatory is how certain groups are not allowed to publically complain about these things, without being labelled as a bigot and/or a racist, while others are free to complain as they wish.


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    Oct 03, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    Yep, discrimination is part of life.
    However, blacks have more people to turn to for support than a closeted gay guy in a straight environment.
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    Oct 03, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    ATC84 said Being that I am heterosexual , I could not work in the porn industry. Being that I am a male, I am not allowed to work the front store/restaurant at Hooters nor Victoria Secret.




    Such a harsh life for this person.
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    Oct 03, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    they sound like they are trying to blame him for society´s intolerance: "Silly fag, we have it harder etc etc etc."

    FAIL.
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    Oct 03, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    This young man reacted and he over-reacted to a stimulus that had he thought just a little bit about it, wouldn't have mattered THAT much. Hell, he coulda sued the classmates and the school and been set for life. It probably never occurred to him that it's not important at all that people knows he gives or takes it in the ass or mouth. He's not the first and not the last and his shame would fade. I don't know if this kid ever had more than fleeting thoughts of suicide before, but, surely, getting caught having gay sex, even if you're closeted doesn't merit killing yourself. Hell, it even lets everyone know without a doubt what you're looking for. I feel awful for the kid. He needed to hear from someone who could tell him "fuck em if they can't take a joke". He needed to hear that he stood a big chance of fighting the fucks who did this and he could win big time. He over-reacted, but then, it's hard not too, I suppose, because it's a fairly popular response to stress.
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    Oct 03, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidYep, discrimination is part of life.
    However, blacks have more people to turn to for support than a closeted gay guy in a straight environment.



    I do? My cries for help must have fallen upon a def earicon_rolleyes.gif And as far as those responses...That idiot who saw parallel in relation to hooters and Victoria secreticon_rolleyes.gif No need to say that guys a complete dip shit
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    Oct 03, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidthey sound like they are trying to blame him for society´s intolerance: "Silly fag, we have it harder etc etc etc."

    FAIL.


    Pretty much. White folks have the tough life. We can't make racist or bigoted remarks and get away with it. Sucks to be white.... icon_rolleyes.gif

    This seems to be the view of so many heterosexual folks. Unless you are one of the "protected" classes you don't know how life really is.

    Even worse is the view of the handful that feel discrimination is justified because it makes us stronger and weeds out the weak and lame.



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    Oct 03, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    Everyone has bad shit happen in their lives. He was obviously very closeted and distraught over the whole thing. I don't think anyone is defending the fact he commit suicide—it's an act of desperation—people are upset that he felt there was no other option.

    P.S. I've checked out that site too! I love my Civic.
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    Oct 04, 2010 3:23 PM GMT

    Well let's see...


    "Suicide is a cowards way out in my opinion. Life is rough, people will talk about you, make fun of you, things wont always go your way... move on. How bad could this guys life have been? He's attending Rutgers which costs about 12k a semester. Im not saying that means life is great and he has no problems but PLENTY of people have it much worse than it seems this guy did and they arent jumping off bridges."

    Suicide is SOMETIMES a coward's way out.
    Sometimes it's punishing someone else, or escaping futility (no hope left in sight), or a reaction to being in shock ( a severe trauma). I think Tyler was in a state of shock.


    "Discrimination is simply a part of life." Oh yes, the 'life is unfair' religion. There are lots of things wrong in the world, so let's just do nothing about them because that's just the way it is.

    Blatting farts and twirtle to that line of thinking. Ugh.

    -Doug

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    Oct 04, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Threads like that definitely do not make me miss being involved in Honda forums. It seems like nothing has changed since I was an active member on the boards in college. Now that I'm part of the VW boards, I just limit my searching to the actual performance forums and not the "all topics" or "out there" sections. I just can't deal with moronic people like that anymore.
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    Oct 04, 2010 4:21 PM GMT
    None of the armchair commentators on this has insight into this kid's mental state before this occurred. We don't know how much of a trigger was needed to put him in such a tragic and self-destructive place.

    My frustration and concern here is that he brought this to the attention of his RA and it was already being investigated when he killed himself. If I was on the residence life staff and something like this happened on my watch, I like to think that I would have checked in regularly with the kid to see how he was dealing with it and know where his head was. If a girl (or a guy, for that matter) reported being raped, would you take the time to make sure they were okay before going into punishment mode? The thing that makes what they did a crime is that they did something horribly invasive to him. I would think everybody would react differently, and -- as it emerged -- nobody seemed to be looking after him in the days following.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 05, 2010 12:41 AM GMT
    ATC84 saidA view of the Rutgers suicide as seen by the crowd over at a car forum I participate in.

    http://www.8thcivic.com/forums/topic/228971-rutgers-suicide-who-fault.html

    Some quotes from the thread:

    - Suicide is a cowards way out in my opinion. Life is rough, people will talk about you, make fun of you, things wont always go your way... move on. How bad could this guys life have been? He's attending Rutgers which costs about 12k a semester. Im not saying that means life is great and he has no problems but PLENTY of people have it much worse than it seems this guy did and they arent jumping off bridges.

    - Discrimination is simply a part of life. When I drive or walk through certain parts of Boston, I get dirty looks and people yell things at me because of my skin color. When I was living in NY, I actually got kicked out of a bar once, because of my skin color. Being that I am heterosexual , I could not work in the porn industry. Being that I am a male, I am not allowed to work the front store/restaurant at Hooters nor Victoria Secret.

    This is just how life is.

    What is truly discriminatory is how certain groups are not allowed to publically complain about these things, without being labelled as a bigot and/or a racist, while others are free to complain as they wish.



    You got kicked out of a bar here in NYC for the color of your skin? i dont believe that one bit.. where the fuck did you go? i'd like to know which bar participates in that bullshit....I have a few friends in city hall who could look into that.......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    Suicide is rarely (not?) a rational response. Criticizing its lack of rationality is to misunderstand it.

    These posts are not "the other side" but merely a bunch of idiots mouthing off on the internet. Merely calling it "the other side" is in itself not liberating.

    If there is to be a versus here, it's "those who care about their fellow humans versus those who don't".


  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Oct 05, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    The boy, tragically, overreacted. Though I feel it is safe to say there was more to his problems than just this.