Parties are not fun for introverts.

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    Oct 03, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
    I have to go to a party next door tonight. Suppose to be there now. I'm waiting til 9, then I can split by 11.

    People dont realize that parties are not fun for introverts. My neighbor is always insisting that I come. Parties are very draining on our energy. Introverts are running on pure battery power. Small talk is not natural to us. We are not happy doing it. It drains more energy. We dont talk to think; we think to talk. To share a lot of prattle all night is so draining. We like to pause before speaking and process what is being said. We dont shoot from the lip naturally. The whole thing is just a waste of time and a big waste of energy for introverts.

    I am gonna go over there, make myself miserable, come home, try to cheer myself up, so I can go to sleep not in a complete funk.
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    Oct 03, 2010 11:52 PM GMT
    I consider going to parties as hard work. I've learned to relax, be able to approach people and not see anything wrong in sitting/standing by myself and observing things. Trying to have real conversations over mindless small-talk helps.
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    Oct 03, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidI consider going to parties as hard work. I've learned to relax, be able to approach people and not see anything wrong in sitting/standing by myself and observing things. Trying to have real conversations over mindless small-talk helps.

    You are right on the money! Introverts go deep, not wide. We prefer a deeper conversation over working the whole room with a lot of chatter.

    For me, I much prefer going to the movies or the museums with one person, than being with a crowd.
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    Oct 03, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    I for one love social gatherings. I am truly fascinated by ppl.
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    Oct 03, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    caslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    Ya I stopped going out to parties and social gatherings because I find meeting new people and small talk a waste of time. So now I just chill in my room and only go outside for class, that way I don't waste any of my valuable time. It also means I have more time to get to 16k posts on an online forum!!!


    If you go to parties with the mind set that they're a waste of time and that you're going to have a bad time... you're going to have a bad time. You need to stop blaming your introversion for you having a bad time at parties and actively try to have a good time. Like bhp said why not find someone to try and have a stimulating conversation with? You're coming off as a big puss, suck it up and make the best of it.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    Import saidcaslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?

    Did the word "introvert" escape your notice? Now fuck off, bitch.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:04 AM GMT
    MikeAP35 saidYa I stopped going out to parties and social gatherings because I find meeting new people and small talk a waste of time. So now I just chill in my room and only go outside for class, that way I don't waste any of my valuable time. It also means I have more time to get to 16k posts on an online forum!!!


    If you go to parties with the mind set that they're a waste of time and that you're going to have a bad time... you're going to have a bad time. You need to stop blaming your introversion for you having a bad time at parties and actively try to have a good time. Like bhp said why not find someone to try and have a stimulating conversation with? You're coming off as a big puss, suck it up and make the best of it.

    ...and the horse you rode in on!!

    You missed the whole point, twinkle toes. Canadians are such bitches.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    MikeAP35 saidYa I stopped going out to parties and social gatherings because I find meeting new people and small talk a waste of time. So now I just chill in my room and only go outside for class, that way I don't waste any of my valuable time. It also means I have more time to get to 16k posts on an online forum!!!


    DAMN... BRUTAL.... NECESSARY? I think not!


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    Oct 04, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    Bring another introvert with you. Misery loves company. icon_wink.gif
    If you're not a party type person, then in the future, tell the host you've got plans. But you can spare a few minutes to drop by and say hello. This gives you a way out, without getting trapped at a party for hours. Just show up, hang out for a few minutes to chat with the host, then bail for your other "plans".
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:07 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 said
    Import saidcaslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?

    Did the word "introvert" escape your notice? Now fuck off, bitch.



    icon_lol.gif

    yeah, i cant possibly see why u wouldn't like a social gathering, I mean with ur dazzling personality and all. lol
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:07 AM GMT
    xrichx saidBring another introvert with you. Misery loves company. icon_wink.gif
    If you're not a party type person, then in the future, tell the host you've got plans. But you can spare a few minutes to drop by and say hello. This gives you a way out, without getting trapped at a party for hours. Just show up, hang out for a few minutes to chat with the host, then bail for your other "plans".

    It isnt quite that simple. These affairs are full of musical talent....that seem to show up late. Walking out is met with great resistance.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    I don't consider myself an introvert but I do enjoy staring off into space while everyone else rambles on about the tedium of their day.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 saidIt isnt quite that simple. These affairs are full of musical talent....that seem to show up late. Walking out is met with great resistance.

    Ohh.. It's that kind of party. In those cases, you should plan ahead and find all the secret exits and side doors. Then sneak out. icon_lol.gif
  • Webster666

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    Oct 04, 2010 12:11 AM GMT
    I always think of social situations as things that I "have" to do, rather than things that I, "get" to do.

    In another thread, I talked about my doctor prescribing a tranquilizer (Clonazepam) for me, which has made a huge difference in making me more comfortable in social situations.

    On Friday, I "had" to go to a birthday dinner at a swanky restaurant, where our place seatings were prearranged. I ended up being seated between an older straight woman whom I had met once before, and a gay man whom I had never met. Because I was on my tranquilizer, I had a wonderful time talking to each of them. I had fun.

    This morning (Sunday), I "had" to go to a brunch at someone's house, whom I don't know very well. And, I "had" to give 2 people a ride to the event. Again, the tranquilizer let me have a great time. I was perfectly calm. And, I was able to jump into the conversation and be a part of it, instead of just being a miserable observer. I had fun.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI always think of social situations as things that I "have" to do, rather than things that I, "get" to do.

    In another thread, I talked about my doctor prescribing a tranquilizer (Clonazepam) for me, which has made a huge difference in making me more comfortable in social situations.

    On Friday, I "had" to go to a birthday dinner at a swanky restaurant, where our place seatings were prearranged. I ended up being seated between an older straight woman whom I had met once before, and a gay man whom I had never met. Because I was on my tranquilizer, I had a wonderful time talking to each of them. I had fun.

    This morning (Sunday), I "had" to go to a brunch at someone's house, whom I don't know very well. And, I "had" to give 2 people a ride to the event. Again, the tranquilizer let me have a great time. I was perfectly calm. And, I was able to jump into the conversation and be a part of it, instead of just being a miserable observer. I had fun.


    does the tranquilizer ever make u sleepy?? or just relaxed?
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI always think of social situations as things that I "have" to do, rather than things that I, "get" to do.

    In another thread, I talked about my doctor prescribing a tranquilizer (Clonazepam) for me, which has made a huge difference in making me more comfortable in social situations.

    On Friday, I "had" to go to a birthday dinner at a swanky restaurant, where our place seatings were prearranged. I ended up being seated between an older straight woman whom I had met once before, and a gay man whom I had never met. Because I was on my tranquilizer, I had a wonderful time talking to each of them. I had fun.

    This morning (Sunday), I "had" to go to a brunch at someone's house, whom I don't know very well. And, I "had" to give 2 people a ride to the event. Again, the tranquilizer let me have a great time. I was perfectly calm. And, I was able to jump into the conversation and be a part of it, instead of just being a miserable observer. I had fun.



    I don't mean to poke fun but this made me fall out of my chair laughingicon_lol.gif
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    Import said
    Caslon15000 said
    Import saidcaslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?

    Did the word "introvert" escape your notice? Now fuck off, bitch.



    icon_lol.gif

    yeah, i cant possibly see why u wouldn't like a social gathering, I mean with ur dazzling personality and all. lol

    It actually is dazzling (Thanks for noticing. And may I point out in return, you have no room to talk about personalities) and people love that I can talk about everything. But ....

    But what about me?
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 saidYou missed the whole point, twinkle toes. Canadians are such bitches.


    I'm not sure which part I missed? I realize you don't have fun at parties but you are telling yourself that you're not going to have fun before you even get there? I'm introverted as well and I'm not a fan of small talk either but I still go to parties and have fun. I'm usually glad I went even though I am completely drained afterwords. There's a difference to being introverted and being pessimistic.

    get%20off%20my%20lawn.jpg
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 said
    Import said
    Caslon15000 said
    Import saidcaslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?

    Did the word "introvert" escape your notice? Now fuck off, bitch.



    icon_lol.gif

    yeah, i cant possibly see why u wouldn't like a social gathering, I mean with ur dazzling personality and all. lol

    It actually is dazzling (Thanks for noticing. And may I point out in return, you have no room to talk about personalities) and people love that I can talk about everything. But ....

    But what about me?


    :cool:
    ur cute little pictures u post really add alot of punch to the useless txt u waste ur time typing out.

    now go have fun!!!!!! u social butterfy u!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:18 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI always think of social situations as things that I "have" to do, rather than things that I, "get" to do.

    In another thread, I talked about my doctor prescribing a tranquilizer (Clonazepam) for me, which has made a huge difference in making me more comfortable in social situations.

    On Friday, I "had" to go to a birthday dinner at a swanky restaurant, where our place seatings were prearranged. I ended up being seated between an older straight woman whom I had met once before, and a gay man whom I had never met. Because I was on my tranquilizer, I had a wonderful time talking to each of them. I had fun.

    This morning (Sunday), I "had" to go to a brunch at someone's house, whom I don't know very well. And, I "had" to give 2 people a ride to the event. Again, the tranquilizer let me have a great time. I was perfectly calm. And, I was able to jump into the conversation and be a part of it, instead of just being a miserable observer. I had fun.

    Tranquillizers are not what introverts need. We are talking about going against the grain of a person's very temperament. I can go without freaking out. I just dont enjoy such social events and they drain my energy greatly. Especially, in this event, where the talent is going to show up late and I am going to be expected to stay, then get to bed late....on a Sunday night. Who holds a party on a Sunday night? Srsly!
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    MikeAP35 said
    Caslon15000 saidYou missed the whole point, twinkle toes. Canadians are such bitches.


    I'm not sure which part I missed? I realize you don't have fun at parties but you are telling yourself that you're not going to have fun before you even get there? I'm introverted as well and I'm not a fan of small talk either but I still go to parties and have fun. I'm usually glad I went even though I am completely drained afterwords. There's a difference to being introverted and being pessimistic.

    get%20off%20my%20lawn.jpg

    I dont know why you want to argue with me about how I feel. Dont you have a baby seal you're supposed to be bashing and skinning?
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    Caslon15000 saidI dont know why you want to argue with me about how I feel. Dont you have a baby seal you're supposed to be bashing and skinning?


    Ya me either, just needed a break from studyi--er, clubbing baby seals and rebuilding my igloo. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    MikeAP35 said
    Caslon15000 saidI dont know why you want to argue with me about how I feel. Dont you have a baby seal you're supposed to be bashing and skinning?


    Ya me either, just needed a break from studyi--er, clubbing baby seals and rebuilding my igloo. icon_wink.gif


    ANNNNND from playing hockey
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    Import saidcaslon, maybe u need to stop trying to have such "deep" (im sure they're very deep) conversations with people and just relax, go over there, and try to have a good time.

    It's like ur setting urself up to not have a good time by complaining about it.

    socially inept?
    scared?
    I dont get it. whats so hard about being invited to a party?

    Introverted people are not scared nor socially inept, I'm one of them, I can do the cheap small talk, I can be the life of the party and make everyone smile and laugh and ensure every ones having a good time, I can make everyone believe I'm having the biggest blast and that I'd wanna be no where else.

    But it doesn't mean I'm actually enjoying my self to much or in the way everyone else thinks I am, I like seeing people smile and enjoying them self even if I have to be the one to make it happen but I'm not by nature a person who enjoys being all over the place and constantly yapping like a little dog.

    Thankfully I'm incredibly good at deflecting questions and getting others talking about them self, most of the conversations I have with others I walk away knowing a 100% more about them and they know nothing about me. Which mind you could be put down to peoples selfless desire to make themselves happy and talk endlessly about themselves.

    Extroverts never shut up and yes it can be torture to be stuck with one who really wont shut up when I'm not in the mood and you'll know I'm not in the mood because i wont be talking and most of what they say has absolutely no substance I mean seriously how much air can you possibly waste with your inept empty conversation????

    But I just smile, nod and think WOW this person is really empty.