"It doesn't get better, you get stronger": A Response to Dan Savage's Campaign

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    Oct 04, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    http://www.velvetparkmedia.com/blogs/it-doesnt-get-better-you-get-stronger

    Thoughts?
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Oct 04, 2010 10:02 AM GMT
    It *does* get better, AND you get stronger. What she says is valid. You do learn "to love yourself," you do learn that "other people are crazy and caught up in their own crap," but kids are cruel. They grow up, too, and they learn to keep their bigoted, homophobic assholery to themselves, and when their hatred breaks through, you are stronger and more prepared to deal with it. You have friends who understand you, you have a family that supports you. I don't get called a fag anymore, and it's words like that that sear to the bone and make teens feel useless and unloved. So for me, it's already gotten 100% better. I can be who I am without being tormented. I have other gay friends. I have parents who are behind me 100%. I've even learned a thing or two about relationships. So don't be so pessimistic, Luzloca821, because it does get better.


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    Oct 04, 2010 10:08 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidIt *does* get better, AND you get stronger.
    That...
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Oct 04, 2010 6:41 PM GMT
    Qvelvetparkmedia personBut seriously, we all know it gets better a lot sooner if you are white, cisgendered, and middle class. And for a lot of us it stays pretty hard.
    <--text from the blog (?) in the original link, not the video author

    I imagine class makes a big impact on how much better things get. If you hob-knob in middle class+ or well-educated circles things I imagine do get much easier. There's probably not as much abatement of intolerance in many other walks of life. (And, of course, I'm just talking about western culture; some places it probably get's harder as the lack of gf/wife makes pretending harder and adults become more violent.)

    I don't know that that means it doesn't get better (as the video author suggests), but some of us are fortunate to be in more tolerant social groups than others and that's worth recognizing. Other factors, such as race and gender probably exacerbate those differences.
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    Oct 04, 2010 6:52 PM GMT
    neosyllogy saidI imagine class makes a big impact on how much better things get. If you hob-knob in middle class+ or well-educated circles things I imagine do get much easier.
    But if a person is born into the upper classes of big business, they're fucked. Most big businesses only "tolerate" gay people because they have to by law. Now apply that train of thought to their own families. They're taught from birth that being gay is bad for business. I feel sorry for those guys just as much - if not more - as I feel sorry for the ones born into bigoted "average" class families.

    I say this because I'm acquainted with the "possibly" closeted gay son of a multi-millionaire marketing rep for a major corporation, who is vehemently against gays (almost knocked him flat on the floor once...if clients wouldn't have been there, I would have). icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 04, 2010 6:53 PM GMT
    It gets better, yes. You get stronger, yes. But you also have to deal with a whole raft of silly queens out there.

    Ass-holery exists in all forms, and definitely within the gay community itself.
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    Oct 04, 2010 6:54 PM GMT
    She does have allot of valid points. When I made my video it gets better I was thinking towards all that school bs of being bullied by your school mates and to not give into the pressure and ending your life over all of that school bullying. IMO that does get better. You grow up those bully's grow up hopefully. Then you move on in life. However you then confront new problems down the road. IMO the gay community's meaner towards their own than anyone str8.at least in my experiences. So she is right get stronger because there's more to come
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    Oct 04, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    i agree it gets better AND u get stronger...

    but id just like to say i love....

    "no disrespect to prostitutes"
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    Oct 04, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    It gets better BECAUSE you get stronger. There will always be ignorant and cruel people in the world, and no amount of propaganda will change everyone's mind. It's your ability to keep your head up and to not let others bring you down that makes life much more enjoyable.
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:24 PM GMT


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  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Oct 04, 2010 11:46 PM GMT
    Props to her for making this video. I think "getting stronger" can kind of be inferred from the "it gets better" message, but I'm glad she made it crystal clear. It doesn't magically switch one day.
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    Oct 05, 2010 1:18 AM GMT
    "It doesn't get better?" What is she thinking?
    Of course it gets better. You don't stay an insecure dependent adolescent. You grow up. Your self-worth no longer depends on the treatment meted out by 14-year-olds.
    You learn that you can set goals for yourself and achieve them. You get the education and training to make a living for yourself. You develop social skills to make friends and build relationships. You are in control of your own life. How could this not be better?
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    Oct 05, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    I like this guys vid allot. It's too the bully's