I am so heart broken:( Need Hug

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 8:56 PM GMT
    I just dont know what i am doing with my life. I am 27. Working all the day in the morning, evenings before my laptop searching for a soulmate. I am not having fun. I am a totally committed guy. I cannot make work a relationship work not even a boyfriend to share my feelingsicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif. I am so heart broken and crying..........my eyes have gone dry..........i need loveicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_neutral.gif..............Dont know what to do with my life...................all my human sex feelings and passion are buried very deep. I have not had a passionate sex not even once(this feels hard when i am writing it) but this fire inside me is still burning enough to fear if i will go slut someday. I dont do one night stands/casual sex either.Just watching some porns and cooling me down every other day. My health is also getting spoiled.Fuck I cannot think about a girl either! I am planning to come out but I am so afraid about the gay life ahead! I will die if its only sex and no love for the rest of my life.

    icon_sad.gif i need hug

    venky

    btw..i am planning to join a music school.I will be ok.
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    Oct 04, 2010 9:00 PM GMT
    lol HUG!!!
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Oct 04, 2010 9:06 PM GMT
    Forum Hug icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 9:22 PM GMT
    Just take it one step at a time and come out at your own pace. I know where you live makes it a little more complicated.

    To cheer you up, I've got a big fat hug for you.

    AveKatHug.jpg
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Oct 04, 2010 9:25 PM GMT
    awww, hugs!

    when I find myself in the same depressed state, I observe that I missed some workouts or haven' t been serious about it. gym time really makes me happy (apart from the occasional sauna/hammam nudity :lolicon_smile.gif. pick yourself up and be thankful for blessings other people can't afford themselves.

    keep yourself busy and surround yourself with friends. although i have come out to a few people, i find it easiest when done quick and dirty (like when i drop a friend off her house, i just blurted it out). feel no pressure from the gay world to come out just because other people do it fast and easy, just be happy with yourself.
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    Oct 04, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    Get out and do something. Go for a run, make supper with a friend, get a smoothie or ice cream with someone. Don't just sit and wallow. While we do need times where we feel like crap to level out the other days, I've found that just sitting down and talking internally or on IM with someone can remind me that I do have value.

    Consider tutoring or visiting nursing home residents to provide an outlet for that missing desire to be valued/loved. Don't wait on love....you'll wait forever. Put that burden aside and let it slap you upside the head when it comes naturally. Until then, love yourself and spend time exploring your own mind so you can become more comfortable expressing who you are and want to become some day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    Just don't ever give up. Ever. Relationships are a lot like the working world. If you wanna get a better job, you're gonna get rejected at some point or another, but when you finally land that dream job, its amazing. Relationships work the same way. You gotta tear through the rejection, until one day you find that one that lasts. Its amazing when it happens. Chin up, man, it'll get better. As for the coming out stuff, still not there myself. Some close friends know, but not family. But I've always heard it'll just feel right when you're ready to do it. Best of luck to ya! icon_biggrin.gif
  • xKorix

    Posts: 607

    Oct 04, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    I'd recommend to feel your pain, not to hide or distract yourself from it, only when it gets too uncomfortable that I suggest doing something to sooth yourself. But otherwise that pain isn't going anywhere unless you feel it fully and release it and then you know what? It'll be gone forever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 10:27 PM GMT
    you make we want to give you a GREAT BIG HUG! Hugs for you and hang in there, things will get better.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Oct 04, 2010 10:38 PM GMT
    I feel your sorrow. Big hug!
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:10 PM GMT
    I'm confused. icon_confused.gif I first read this very passionate cry of dispair...

    ..... I just dont know what i am doing with my life.

    ..... I am 27.

    ..... Working all the day in the morning, evenings before my laptop searching for ..... a soulmate.

    ..... I am not having fun.

    ..... I am a totally committed guy. I cannot make work a relationship work not ..... even a boyfriend to share my feelings ...

    ..... Etc.

    But at the end, you say...oh btw, I am going to music school so I'll be ok.

    How can you be crying your eyes out one moment and then just pull it altogether and "oh I'll be fine. Nevermind."

    What am I supposed to be feeling here??? icon_confused.gif

    I feel like bursting into song...


    Poor boy! Poor boy!
    Down-hearted and depressed and in a spin
    Poor boy! Poor boy!
    Oh, youth can really do a fellow in!

    How lovely to sit here in the shade
    With none of the woes of man and maid
    I'm glad I'm not young anymore

    The rivals that don't exist at all
    The feeling you're only two feet tall
    I'm glad that I'm not young anymore

    No more confusion
    No morning-after surprise
    No self-delusion
    That when you're telling those lies
    He isn't wise

    And even if love comes through the door
    The chance that goes on forevermore
    Forevermore is shorter than before
    Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore

    The tiny remark that tortures you
    The fear that your friends won't like him too
    I'm glad I'm not young anymore
    The longing to end the stale affair
    Until you find out he doesn't care
    I'm glad that I'm not young anymore

    No more frustration
    No star-crossed lover am I
    No aggravation
    Just one reluctant reply
    "Buddy, goodbye!"

    The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint
    Methuselah is my patron saint
    I've never been so comfortable before
    Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore




    VenkyJock saidI just dont know what i am doing with my life. I am 27. Working all the day in the morning, evenings before my laptop searching for a soulmate. I am not having fun. I am a totally committed guy. I cannot make work a relationship work not even a boyfriend to share my feelingsicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif. I am so heart broken and crying..........my eyes have gone dry..........i need loveicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_neutral.gif..............Dont know what to do with my life...................all my human sex feelings and passion are buried very deep. I have not had a passionate sex not even once(this feels hard when i am writing it) but this fire inside me is still burning enough to fear if i will go slut someday. I dont do one night stands/casual sex either.Just watching some porns and cooling me down every other day. My health is also getting spoiled.Fuck I cannot think about a girl either! I am planning to come out but I am so afraid about the gay life ahead! I will die if its only sex and no love for the rest of my life.

    icon_sad.gif i need hug

    venky

    btw..i am planning to join a music school.I will be ok.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 04, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    Caslon....Caslon......Caslon..... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    malefeet saidCaslon....Caslon......Caslon..... icon_wink.gif

    What?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Oct 04, 2010 11:20 PM GMT
    Caslon15000 said
    malefeet saidCaslon....Caslon......Caslon..... icon_wink.gif

    What?


    Just checkin' on ya.... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon15000 said
    malefeet saidCaslon....Caslon......Caslon..... icon_wink.gif

    What?


    Just checkin' on ya.... icon_wink.gif

    Srsly, is he dying of lonesome anguish or is he going off to music school?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    Total Hugs!
    We all have our moments, but the important thing is you don't let yourself become bitter or jaded about life: gay, straight, or otherwise. I think we all have our truth; if your heart is open and you are meant to meet that certain someone that curls your toes, then it will happen. Take care big guy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:04 AM GMT
    HUG!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:21 AM GMT
    we all have our moments, but I wouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve, even though I have. Rather than give you a hug I'd rather slap you around, lube you up, and plow you until your ears are bleeding for 3 or 4 hours, rinse, and repeat.

    If that doesn't work, I'll slap you around some more.

    You create your own reality on a daily basis, accepting and appreciating what you have and not what you don't have is a good place to start. You can't order up a relationship like you can a meal at a McDonald's drive-through. That takes time and evolution and it starts with some kind of sexual or emotional friendship or relationship.

    So if you're not willing to put yourself out there, then you are reaping what you sow. Put your ass on the line. Take some chances. Get offline and get outside the box. Then get someone inside your box.

    Then come back next week for more.....
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    Oct 05, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    VenkyJock saidI just dont know what i am doing with my life. I am 27. Working all the day in the morning, evenings before my laptop searching for a soulmate. I am not having fun. I am a totally committed guy. I cannot make work a relationship work not even a boyfriend to share my feelingsicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif. I am so heart broken and crying..........my eyes have gone dry..........i need loveicon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_neutral.gif..............Dont know what to do with my life...................all my human sex feelings and passion are buried very deep. I have not had a passionate sex not even once(this feels hard when i am writing it) but this fire inside me is still burning enough to fear if i will go slut someday. I dont do one night stands/casual sex either.Just watching some porns and cooling me down every other day. My health is also getting spoiled.Fuck I cannot think about a girl either! I am planning to come out but I am so afraid about the gay life ahead! I will die if its only sex and no love for the rest of my life.

    icon_sad.gif i need hug

    venky

    btw..i am planning to join a music school.I will be ok.


    Dear Venky!!


    Sweetie is o.k to cry! your eyes may be full of tears to the point where it becomes dry and hurt, and that is because your heart is flooded with emotions. The mirrors to your soul (your eyes) is simply reacting to the good and bad vibes you've absorbed from the outside world and from yours within. That said your broken heart may be aching because your expectations of love may be too high!? WARNING!! metaphorically speaking expectation is a very deceptive artificial lighting, if you will, and one that often may only nourish you for a brief period of time.

    What do you need to do to make that feeling of love feel more real and true in your life? BE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF!! no matter how different and lonely "OTHERS" make you feel, and notice I say "OTHERS" because the truth is that YOU shouldn't feel different or a stranger to YOU...you are beautiful, you are smart, and if you take good care of your health, you my friend can be more physically fit then some of the studs on this forum, whose body although seemingly more fit does not match with their twisted, mean spirited, bitter, and jaded out of shape persona. And like the old saying goes "No pain, no gain" You know going through the emotions and allowing it to temporarily take hold of you, is in essence, what helps you gain more emotional muscles; and please don't let it get to you if you feel like a wimp or being called a wimp. A man who embraces and shares his vulnerabilities is a better man. Sensitivity is a very sexy quality in a man.

    As far as your sex drive is concerned yours is not the first nor the last! everyone goes through these dry periods more than just a few times in their lives! and please don't feel as if you are alone in that your desire or longing for an emotional connection with someone is what triggers a very special kind of sexual drive; I can assure you are not the only one who feels that love is what awakens that animal sexual drive in you

    I have observe your contribution to this forum, and I can honestly say that you have personable qualities that many RJ members with above average looks wish they could have but unfortunately DO NOT have the abilities to show or share. You on the other hand have always and consistently expressed a lot of positive vibes and a sense of comradeship with everyone on the forum.

    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    "human sex feelings"

    roflcopter
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    aww i thought i had it bad.... Hugs my brother.

  • Oct 05, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    somehow i feel the same way and im 20. FML lol
  • awayfromtheci...

    Posts: 154

    Oct 05, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    heartrobb saidJust take it one step at a time and come out at your own pace. I know where you live makes it a little more complicated.

    To cheer you up, I've got a big fat hug for you.

    AveKatHug.jpg



    OMG how did you get permission to use my cousin and her husband's picture....icon_lol.gif

    Seriously though...hang in there and with your sincerity it will be amazing WHEN it happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2010 2:10 AM GMT
    Hug Hug, icon_smile.gif

    Love is not easy for me either, especially when you in love with someone and trying chasing him, its hurt most of the times but im happy, i know what im looking for =) Hope you find your Mr. Right SOON.
  • Eagledoc77v

    Posts: 8

    Oct 05, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    Hey you will be fine I have been there and after fighting cancer and 2 car accidents I am starting to go out but it is hard. Just believe there is someone for you if I could I would give you the biggest hug plus whatevericon_biggrin.gif