DIG DEEP!!! I Mean Really GO DEEP...........

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    Oct 04, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    and ask yourself about monogamy ... Do you really think you can do it for the duration of a relationship?

    I have asked myself this question and a bunch of friends...

    Here is my way of thinking...

    When a relationship starts off I think after lets say 4-6 years I would want to explore the ability to have sex outside of the relationship...whether it be together or 1on1.

    Now This wouldn't mean I no longer want to have sex with my partner but I think the concept of monogamy is so overrated as well as marriage(that's a different debate)And doesn't matter how many guys I have sex with outside of the relationship I still love him and come home to him every night.

    What about you? Do you HONESTY think you could not have sex with another person while in a relationship??


  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 04, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    I am a strong advocate of not insisting on monogamy because I believe that it's unnatural for men.
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
    good question, managed monogamy in a straight marriage for 25 years and strayed once at the start of it.....for a gay hookup.....I would like to think if I find the right guy and the stars are right and are spirits are together that I could be sexually and spiritually faithful.....that's is only hope....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:40 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidI am a strong advocate of not insisting on monogamy because I believe that it's unnatural for men.



    I kind of agree with this... I'm 50/50 on it....

    I think monogamy should be there at the start

    but then again there is always something in the back of your brain that whispers "dude! that guy across the bar looks hot"
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 04, 2010 11:52 PM GMT
    It depends if i'm really in love with the guy,, the last time i cheated on a guy while in a relationship was when he had not a romantic bone in his body,,all he did was dig deeper and deeper ... I didnt really have to be there...all he needed was a hole in the mattress basically.....
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    Oct 04, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    I would agree with that normally but I honestly think Love has no control over this.

    We are men..... and I think our Penis thinks for itself lol
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 05, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    True that, but why does he keep asking during sexy,'' Who's ass is this''? LOL....Of course i'm gonna say '' Its all yours baby tear it up good''....
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    TattJock saidand ask yourself about monogamy ... Do you really think you can do it for the duration of a relationship?





    did it for 10 years and 10 days... if my partner had not died, i would be approaching 17 years and 4 months of monogamy... i won't have a relationship any other way. the very nature of expecting monogamy from and giving it to the other person is what defines 'relationship' for me.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    I dont believe in marriage, monogamy or relationships anyway so yeah...

    I think those are just religious institutions.... in order to keep control of another's sexuality.. which I think is wrong to begin with so yeah....

    I wouldnt mind getting married, if he wanted to.. but to ask for monogamy? I think its not practical nor natural, thats just a ticket to cheating and dishonesty, by putting our natural sexual functions "in closets"

    The more you repress something, the worse it comes out
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    I'm a non-monogamy kind of guy here. In fact, I'm kind of a step beyond non-monogamy, in that my partner and I are free to explore whole other secondary relationships with other people (i.e. more than just sex, there is the possibility for some emotional involvement if that's how things evolve.) Just because options are available, however doesn't necessarily mean we're out looking for it all the time. It's just about where the parametres are located, and therefore what we possibilities we can be open too.

    There's a bunch of reasons behind why I conduct my relationships this way, and actually none of them are as simple as 'my dick can't be controlled' - it's more framed in terms of wanting a relationship that enables and supports both of us to experience everything we can out of life, including if some of those things are with other people.

    Despite that, I think being monogamous/non-monogamous is entirely a personal thing, and, in many cases, also depends on the particular dynamics of a particular relationship. Not everyone is comfortable with either way of conducting a relationship, and no-one should be coerced into being one way or the other if it doesn't feel right for them.
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:31 AM GMT
    rightasrain said
    TattJock saidand ask yourself about monogamy ... Do you really think you can do it for the duration of a relationship?





    did it for 10 years and 10 days... if my partner had not died, i would be approaching 17 years and 4 months of monogamy... i won't have a relationship any other way. the very nature of expecting monogamy from and giving it to the other person is what defines 'relationship' for me.



    Does that include Jerking off with another guy, oral.... steam room/sauna action???
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    TattJock saidI would agree with that normally but I honestly think Love has no control over this.

    We are men..... and I think our Penis thinks for itself lol


    Bullshit. If you are in love with someone you only want to be with that person. Monogamy is not a contractual requirement to partnership. It is a state of mind and spirit. When two men are IN LOVE they have no desire to go outside of the relationship.

    When that turns to LOVE and FRIENDSHIP then things might change. You can't label monogamy as natural or unnatural there is no such thing.

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    Oct 05, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    TattJock saidI would agree with that normally but I honestly think Love has no control over this.

    We are men..... and I think our Penis thinks for itself lol


    Bullshit. If you are in love with someone you only want to be with that person. Monogamy is not a contractual requirement to partnership. It is a state of mind and spirit. When two men are IN LOVE they have no desire to go outside of the relationship.

    When that turns to LOVE and FRIENDSHIP then things might change. You can't label monogamy as natural or unnatural there is no such thing.



    And what is your SOLID proof of "You can't label monogamy as natural or unnatural there is no such thing"????


    Have you been in a relationship? If the answer is yes...have you watched porn and jerked off to it while in the relationship? If so, That is a watered down form of cheating bud icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    amar_m saidI dont believe in marriage, monogamy or relationships anyway so yeah...

    I think those are just religious institutions.... in order to keep control of another's sexuality.. which I think is wrong to begin with so yeah....

    I wouldnt mind getting married, if he wanted to.. but to ask for monogamy? I think its not practical nor natural, thats just a ticket to cheating and dishonesty, by putting our natural sexual functions "in closets"

    The more you repress something, the worse it comes out


    You say that now, but when a man comes along and knocks off your socks and you're so deeply in love, you may have a change of heart. You might see things completely differently.

    Nobody should close themselves off to experiences they haven't experienced yet.

    Just sayin'
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:39 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    TattJock saidI would agree with that normally but I honestly think Love has no control over this.

    We are men..... and I think our Penis thinks for itself lol


    Bullshit. If you are in love with someone you only want to be with that person. Monogamy is not a contractual requirement to partnership. It is a state of mind and spirit. When two men are IN LOVE they have no desire to go outside of the relationship.

    When that turns to LOVE and FRIENDSHIP then things might change. You can't label monogamy as natural or unnatural there is no such thing.



    That is a delusion.. every time I fell in love I was under the impression that this person must be the "one", that I was getting signs from everywhere, that the universe was put in place for the perfect timing for us to be together, that it would last forever evn in death

    And more bla bla bla

    Then reality has broken that delusion every time... and yet every "falling" put my mind back in the same trap

    They are entirely imaginary feelings that have nothing to do with reality

    Its just some chemical in your brain that makes you over-attached to someone

    If you're lucky, and I have seen it happen, two people meet in that state and stay together in that state, but the majority of people do not

    The VAST majority

    Theres a good reason why love marriages in India usually fail and arranged marriages usually work out... the arranged ones do not have to deal with the breaking of the delusion through unrealistic expectations that our brain makes up

    Love is just as delusional as religion.... Makes you feel perfect, but it isnt so


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    Oct 05, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said

    Bullshit. If you are in love with someone you only want to be with that person. Monogamy is not a contractual requirement to partnership. It is a state of mind and spirit. When two men are IN LOVE they have no desire to go outside of the relationship.

    When that turns to LOVE and FRIENDSHIP then things might change. You can't label monogamy as natural or unnatural there is no such thing.




    I agree with completely you that there's no such thing as being 'naturally' or 'unnaturally' monogamous - it's a personal choice about how one conducts their life, and neither is more 'right' or 'good' than the other.


    However I disagree with you strongly that if you are in love you have no desire to go outside of your relationship. If you are in love you have no desire to hurt or cheat on your partner, absolutely. But if you have negotiated some rules of engagement with other people, that is different.

    And I can tell you that I am head-over-heels, my-heart-still-skips-a-beat (even after five years), madly-in-lust (we have sex everyday) in love with my partner, and it's because we are so good and connected and in love, that we can go off and explore..
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:44 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    amar_m saidI dont believe in marriage, monogamy or relationships anyway so yeah...

    I think those are just religious institutions.... in order to keep control of another's sexuality.. which I think is wrong to begin with so yeah....

    I wouldnt mind getting married, if he wanted to.. but to ask for monogamy? I think its not practical nor natural, thats just a ticket to cheating and dishonesty, by putting our natural sexual functions "in closets"

    The more you repress something, the worse it comes out


    You say that now, but when a man comes along and knocks off your socks and you're so deeply in love, you may have a change of heart. You might see things completely differently.

    Nobody should close themselves off to experiences they haven't experienced yet.

    Just sayin'


    If you see my post below yours, you'll see that has happened before, thats why I dont believe in it anymore, and I explain rationally why the feelings are imaginary... its just a chemical in your brain.. its your brain on drugs to be exact, and its not reality

    And YES, while I was IN that delusional state, I DID think I wanted lifelong monogamy and marriage, I just know better now, being open to experiences also means being open to the bad ones babe
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    Well to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    amar_m said
    CaliBoySwag said
    amar_m saidI dont believe in marriage, monogamy or relationships anyway so yeah...

    I think those are just religious institutions.... in order to keep control of another's sexuality.. which I think is wrong to begin with so yeah....

    I wouldnt mind getting married, if he wanted to.. but to ask for monogamy? I think its not practical nor natural, thats just a ticket to cheating and dishonesty, by putting our natural sexual functions "in closets"

    The more you repress something, the worse it comes out


    You say that now, but when a man comes along and knocks off your socks and you're so deeply in love, you may have a change of heart. You might see things completely differently.

    Nobody should close themselves off to experiences they haven't experienced yet.

    Just sayin'


    If you see my post below yours, you'll see that has happened before, thats why I dont believe in it anymore, and I explain rationally why the feelings are imaginary... its just a chemical in your brain.. its your brain on drugs to be exact, and its not reality

    And YES, while I was IN that delusional state, I DID think I wanted lifelong monogamy and marriage, I just know better now, being open to experiences also means being open to the bad ones babe


    I never considered love to be a delusional state of mind. Of course it is chemical, everything in your mind and body is. but its there for a purpose. I didnt read your next post because I was responding to the ones I'm reading in order.

    I guess I can cross you off the list of guys who want to get married on a beach in Hawaii and then go surfing icon_smile.gif

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    Oct 05, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag saidWell to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol


    Lol well thats just a Catholic-Christian mindset, theres plenty of cultures and religions in the world where polygamy is the norm, and expected of men almost, especially those in power... ex the Chinese emporor..

    But its ok if you wanna call me a hoe based on some foreign culture's standards that does not phase me... foreigners always tell us this when they come here, that our culture is just a bunch of hoes, and it really doesnt phase us, because, well, we find your culture just wierd too

    not to mention they would burn us at stakes for being "sinners" the christians... and they did the same to gays

    So no, Im not interested in that value system, no srree, in fact I hate it to the core
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag saidWell to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol


    Dude no judging other people answers.... the question if for you to answer in your own words...not try to critique other guys answers icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    TattJock said
    CaliBoySwag saidWell to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol


    Dude no judging other people answers.... the question if for you to answer in your own words...not try to critique other guys answers icon_biggrin.gif


    thts ok, Im used to the criticism by foreigners that judge my culture like this, its the history of the region lol
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag saidWell to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol


    I agree with you man - it *is* each to his own.

    Non-monog is definitely not for everyone . . . but equally I get a bit annoyed when monog folk tell me that I can't 'really' be in love because I'm non-monog.

    (For the record, as a person who takes being non-monog really seriously, and lives my life that way for very clear philosophical reasons, I equally get annoyed with the simplistic 'I can't control myself' approach to being non-monog.)
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    amar_m said
    CaliBoySwag said
    amar_m saidI dont believe in marriage, monogamy or relationships anyway so yeah...

    I think those are just religious institutions.... in order to keep control of another's sexuality.. which I think is wrong to begin with so yeah....

    I wouldnt mind getting married, if he wanted to.. but to ask for monogamy? I think its not practical nor natural, thats just a ticket to cheating and dishonesty, by putting our natural sexual functions "in closets"

    The more you repress something, the worse it comes out


    You say that now, but when a man comes along and knocks off your socks and you're so deeply in love, you may have a change of heart. You might see things completely differently.

    Nobody should close themselves off to experiences they haven't experienced yet.

    Just sayin'


    If you see my post below yours, you'll see that has happened before, thats why I dont believe in it anymore, and I explain rationally why the feelings are imaginary... its just a chemical in your brain.. its your brain on drugs to be exact, and its not reality

    And YES, while I was IN that delusional state, I DID think I wanted lifelong monogamy and marriage, I just know better now, being open to experiences also means being open to the bad ones babe


    I never considered love to be a delusional state of mind. Of course it is chemical, everything in your mind and body is. but its there for a purpose. I didnt read your next post because I was responding to the ones I'm reading in order.

    I guess I can cross you off the list of guys who want to get married on a beach in Hawaii and then go surfing icon_smile.gif



    Of course I would, Hawaii is a polygamous indigenous culture babe, lot like my own icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 05, 2010 12:55 AM GMT
    r_evolutionary said
    CaliBoySwag saidWell to each his own but for me, if I were (and have been) in love with someone I would never have any desire to go outside of the relationship. And I know plenty of other couples who don't even so much as look at other men no matter what the situation. Just sounds like you a hoe lol


    I agree with you man - it *is* each to his own.

    Non-monog is definitely not for everyone . . . but equally I get a bit annoyed when monog folk tell me that I can't 'really' be in love because I'm non-monog.

    (For the record, as a person who takes being non-monog really seriously, and lives my life that way for very clear philosophical reasons, I equally get annoyed with the simplistic 'I can't control myself' approach to being non-monog.)


    ?? O ther I agree too.. you can be in love, yes, its a delusional state to me, but it IS a feeling, and it does not need to entail monogamy

    Mny Chinese emporors had "favourites"

    A Chinese general failed to protect China from a Mongolian invasion due to "being in love" wth a Mongolian woman

    And these people were NOT monogamous

    Nor were the Greeks, who had a profusion of love poems, including gay ones

    Nor were the Arabs, whose love poetry is practically unequaled, including their gay poetry

    So love = NOT the same as monogamy