Do you have a friend that is too fat?

  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Oct 05, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    Yes I know that sounds kind of harsh, but there is such a thing. Saturday I had a friend over who comes over occasionally on the weekends to play Xbox or watch movies and what not... but something I have noticed over the past few weeks I kind of have the urge to say something to him.

    Everytime he comes to my house he brings his own snacks...and energy drinks (oh god the endless amounts of giant sized energy drinks.) He's constantly craving junk food and if I had to guess I would say hes about 6'3" 220-240 pounds. I even had to replace the chair he usually sits in because the back on the other one broke off when he leaned back in it... icon_redface.gif *akward*

    So I guess my question is this, do you speak up and tell them (as a friend) that they need to control their apetite? Or is it not my place to say anything at all? How do you even broach a subject like this with someone without sounding like a prick?
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Oct 05, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    I think it depends. I mean is he 6'3 and 240 pounds and all fat? or is he like... linebacker shaped? icon_razz.gif

    Plus is it constant unhealthy eating, or just over eating?

    I mean I'd casually mention it, but maybe not when he comes over to game?
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    Oct 05, 2010 10:15 PM GMT
    Tell him you only associate with the people sizes 1, 3 and 5 and that he should try Sears for a new friend.
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    Oct 05, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidTell him you only associate with the people sizes 1, 3 and 5 and that he should try Sears for a new friend.


    That's awesome
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    Oct 05, 2010 10:33 PM GMT
    I had a friend like this. He was 5'6 to 5'8 always worked out in the gym, total gym body. Then 3 years ago he just let himself go. He went from 150lbs to 280 lbs. He looked horrible. I told him to. I told him at the age of 53 the longer he goes without losing that weight the more difficult it would be as he gets older. His bf of 8 years dumped him. He isn't realistic He is 53 and only attracted too very young twink types and he himself isn't very attractive even b4 that weight gain. I told him if he didn't want to lose that weight then he better join the bear sites..lol
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 05, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    Thats a touchy subject, i dont say anything, i just place my good chairs in another room until they leave......
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    Oct 05, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    ....depends on what type of friendship you have, if strong and long term...OK say something if not...SHUT IT! ...U R being RUDE!...AND HIDE THE GOOD FURNITURE! LOL!
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    Oct 05, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    Yep, I have friends who are too fat. I also have friends who are too skinny, too muscular, too short, too tall, too masculine, too feminine, too ripped, and too sexy for their shirt, so I tear it off of them. icon_biggrin.gif
  • tigrisblue

    Posts: 113

    Oct 05, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidYep, I have friends who are too fat. I also have friends who are too skinny, too muscular, too short, too tall, too masculine, too feminine, too ripped, and too sexy for their shirt, so I tear it off of them. icon_biggrin.gif


    ... I want to meet your friends.
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    Oct 05, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    ruvlkng said
    paulflexes saidYep, I have friends who are too fat. I also have friends who are too skinny, too muscular, too short, too tall, too masculine, too feminine, too ripped, and too sexy for their shirt, so I tear it off of them. icon_biggrin.gif


    ... I want to meet your friends.
    Come to the club with me tonight. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    I find friends love talking about themselves. Some people wear unhealthy eating habits as a badge of honor. They think it makes them a rebel-or a non goody goody.

    Food is also one area of life people can control. You have an uphill battle if they are big and enjoying life.

    There are ways of bringing up a subject without asking a question. You could watch the "Biggest Loser" . One small topic can get a conversation about someone's health rolling. You'll see an opening. I promise....
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    Shout out to all the fat guys out there.
  • Chunner

    Posts: 87

    Oct 06, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    It won't help him if you say anything. He knows he's heavy and having one of his friends say something will only make him feel worse. If he ever says something to you first then you can definitely delve into the issue, but remember to be kind. He's a friend and weight is a weird issue.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:20 AM GMT
    I dont have any close friend that arefat. Im very big on health and fitness so I associate with people like that. However if someone would let himself go,Im so honest that he would know right away and get back on the threadmill ASAP
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    As a former "FAT GUY"...the last thing anyone ever wants to hear is how fat they are and how much better they would be if they lost weight and how easy it is to just not eat it or to go for a run or a ride or to not eat after 8pm or eat salads, or whatever simplistic advice you have to offer..... sure way for them to shut you off like Charlie Brown's teacher....."WA, wa,wa,wa, wah, wah wa....." Chances are they already are aware of their size and their weight and already feel self conscious and feeling bad about it, You pointing it out to them is insulting and rude, especially if you don't plan on being there in the long term for support...icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Southern_Draw...

    Posts: 119

    Oct 06, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    I have 3 friends that love to tell me the way i'm eating is making me fat. It's all in good fun and we don't mind checking each other to help keep us on the right track.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    one of my closest friends is around 6'1" and tipping the toledos at around 290, he looks like the bad dudes on WWE but it's none of my business, i don't fuck him, he's straight, i ain't married to him, he's a life bachelor, and he's a good friend... Keithicon_cool.gif
  • Daknee

    Posts: 67

    Oct 06, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    Generally speaking when see something "wrong", with those we are close to. It's usually best to say nothing, untill, if and when they voice their recogniton of the problem. Of course this is not always black and white, again I'm speakng in general in the very broad sense of the term.
    In the case of your overweght friend. Keep in mind there are alway two sides of a coin. There is a segment of society (both men and women) who enjoy being overweight. In fact it is something that is intentionally done. As strange as it may seen to most. There is a sexual attraciton aspect as well as a sense of well being that goes along with it. Because it is not generally accepted many stay in the closet about. I'm not saying your friend is part of that segment of society. I'm mearly stating this because we don't truly know what he's thinking or feeling about his weight.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    Southern_Drawl saidI have 3 friends that love to tell me the way i'm eating is making me fat. It's all in good fun and we don't mind checking each other to help keep us on the right track.


    I used to do that with my best friend icon_smile.gif We'd tell each other we were fat, when we'd go out we'd belittle the other other if they wanted to go eat, so we eliminated eating altogether when we were together. We'd go into the children's section of clothing stores and see who could fit into the smaller child garment. Super fun when you come to realize you've become co-dependently anorexic with someone and your hair is starting to fall out. Super fun!
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    Even though iv said to a friend they needed to lose weight I do agree that it does no good to say anything. A person won't lose it until they are ready. I had this friend that was a heavy smoker people bitched at her for years too stop smoking. She never did and died a smoker last year. People won't stop a bad habit until they want too.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    I was gunna reply and say something harsh, but then I thought, it's more about advice you need, so...
    ...say something to him. Ask him if he'd be interested in getting help in losing weight, then show him this site to get pointers. Then be a friend and push him (coach). But that's if he wants help.
    If he likes how he is, don't force him, but be subtle in giving some pointers.

    When I was huge ('6-2" 270lbs) I wish someone was there to say something! I didn't realize I looked like Jabba the Hut until I seen a pic. Man that was an eye opener. I don't look like that now...I dropped the weight and put on muscle.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:45 AM GMT
    My room mate is getting to be the same way. We're both science majors so if nothing else we should be studying a lot, right? But not him. All he does is eat fast food, drink energy drinks, and stay up all night playing Gears of War and Halo Reach. Then morning comes and I find him passed out as I'm going to class. Then I come back from class and he's in the exact same spot. He hasn't even been to the gym in a few weeks and that's something he supposedly liked doing too.

    I've tried hinting at him with remarks like "Really committed to this do nothing bit, huh?" and "So you wanna get out of here and study/work out?" but he doesn't get it at all. He's got no drive to succeed in school or life and all he cares about is his kill:death ratio so I'm giving up on him. At least until further notice. Because it's his life and it's not my responsibility to keep it on track at my life's expense.

    I've been trying to vent that for a while now, sorry, haha.

    Since it's someone that's close to you, it'll be hard no matter the approach to let them know that they're letting themselves go. You can choose to say nothing so they don't hate you for it or you can bite the bullet and let them know now while there is still a chance to save them from the grief of being X->infinity size with little chance of recovering their former physical form. I guess it comes down to how much you care about them. Do you care about them so much you don't want them to start rolling down an unhealthy path or not?
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    Here is what I would do...

    "Hey man I'm really craving some combos can I see that bag"
    (Hope to god your friend is willing to share)

    "These look really good but..." (turn the bag over) "look at how many calories are in this thing. 140 calories per serving AND there is 7 servings in this bag?!?! Man I can't touch that stuff that's like half my caloric intake on a snack"

    Then play an episode of the Biggest Loser... that should set them straight
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    I agree with what's already been said: He probably knows he's overweight, and if he wants to change, it's best to let him come to you (or someone else) for help.

    What might help is inviting him to do some light activity. Maybe toss a football around. That way, there's little pressure on him, and it also shows that you're willing to help him be more active and healthy.
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    Oct 06, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    You could be proactive instead of merely criticizing him. Instead of doing something sedentary, as seems to be the basis of your friendship from your description, you could go bowling or hiking in lieu of XBox.
    You're profile states you work out an hour and a half everyday. How about inviting your friend to join you, and then give him some pointers if you're so worried about his health.

    Also, I have a friend who is 6'4" and 240lbs., but I wouldn't consider him overweight. I guess it's all in how it's broken down: body fat percentage and whatnot.