Would you hold on?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2008 8:04 PM GMT
    A few weeks back one of our fellow member had to put his pet to sleep (forever). In the thread related to that event, there seemed to be a consensus that if the pet was terminally ill, it was best for it to die. Couldn't help but wonder what would your reaction be if your loved one was terminally ill and in a lot of pain. Would you prefer euthanasia? What would you do if you were terminally ill and dying a slow but painful and certain death? I've asked myself that question but honestly don't have an answer. Do you?
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    Mar 03, 2008 8:29 PM GMT
    I would not want to be euthanized, but after that huge legal mess over Terri Schiavo, I made a living will that prevents ghoulish fuckwits from keeping my body "alive" in a useless dysfunctional state.
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    Mar 03, 2008 8:32 PM GMT
    i prefer eutheanasia. once the loose ends are finished up and the good-bye's, i love you's, and i'm sorry's are shared around, then it's time to go.
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    Mar 03, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    Advances in medical science have given us many benefits, but one of the drawbacks is keeping terminally ill people alive for the sake of keeping them alive.

    I have a living will and strongly recommend others get one as well. I am HIV+ so there is no guarantee I will be mentally with it near the end, and I don't want to be a human vegetable tying up much needed health care resources for no purpose.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 03, 2008 11:15 PM GMT
    The love I have for a pet and the love I have for a family member comes from the same place, so I do believe that euthanasia should be a viable option for those who are terminally ill, and suffer every second of every day that they are alive.

    The last thing I would want to happen to me is live like a vegetable (or should I say exist rather than live?), with no hope of recovery. In a situation like that, I would want my loved ones to pull the plug. Let me move on to a place where I am happy and functioning, while at the same time allowing them grieve and move on. The important thing for me is the 'move on' part. I would hate to be a burden, I would hate for my loved ones to be so saddened while standing over my useless body connected to all sorts of machines. Pull the plug, think of me fondly, but go back to your lives, go back to being happy.
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    Mar 04, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    for me, it becomes a quality of life issue. just because you CAN keep me alive, doesn't necessarily mean you should. if i were in constant pain, or in a vegetative state, then i do NOT want to be kept alive...especially if there's little to NO chance of recovery.
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    Mar 04, 2008 1:42 AM GMT
    I agree with the posters above, and I'd add this:

    Don't waste any of my or your money on a fancy funeral. Go down to the grocery store, get a Hefty Cinch-Sak, and leave me at the curb on trash day.

    Money wasted on elaborate caskets is silly.
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    Mar 04, 2008 1:47 AM GMT
    I like the way jprichva thinks lol
  • EricLA

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    Mar 04, 2008 1:55 AM GMT
    Ditto Jprichva's comments. My mother has told my sister and me that she doesn't want any heroic measures taken, she does not want to be stuck in a hospital on machines, and when she dies that she doesn't want a service or funeral.

    I'd probably want a service, personally, just to give my family and friends closure. But I wouldn't want anything fancy. But I've never understood graveyards. What a waste of space! It's pretty arrogant to believe that people beyond the current generation would want to visit your plot, but to use up that space for eternity? Get over yourself!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 04, 2008 1:57 AM GMT
    My bf has been very specific with me - he wants every possible measure taken to save his life.

    Me, I don't know.
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    Mar 04, 2008 2:10 AM GMT
    I approved of the way in which it was done not long ago for my grandfather - who had pancreatic cancer, and was finally dying after having had a good year - post diagnosis. On what was to be the final day, several groups of guests dropped by and visited with him at his bedside. He was in pain, controlled by morphine. After the last guest left, we family members gathered around his bed to say our goodbyes, while a super dosage of morphine was administered. He drifted off peacefully. What good would it have done to let him suffer increasingly more pain and maybe linger another few weeks? This way he passed on in his own way, and at his own time. That's what I want when my end comes. Doesn't that sound reasonable and respectful?
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    Mar 04, 2008 2:25 AM GMT
    One should be allowed to die with dignity and allowed to abandon their battle on their terms.

    Way, way, way, to many folks have been driven to bankruptcy, needlessly, in futile efforts at extending life just briefly.

    Medical expense IS the leading cause of bankruptcy in The United States, believe it, or not.
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    Mar 04, 2008 2:27 AM GMT
    I told my last BF I wanted to be stuffed and put in the corner. That way any time he brought someone home, I would be there watching...LOL
  • DiverScience

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    Mar 04, 2008 2:31 AM GMT
    My family has talked about it. We all would prefer euthanasia. Which was also what Dad had to choose for his father when he was dying of kidney cancer (overdose of morphine).
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    Mar 04, 2008 2:38 AM GMT
    I am going to be cremated and my ashes are going to be dumped from the top of a 200 foot cliff on Southwest Point, Grand Manan Island (see photo). Hopefully the wind will be blowing from the East so some of me can land on Maine!

    Grand Manan 2000
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 04, 2008 3:15 AM GMT
    Absolutely...
    Everybody has the right to leave this earth as they want to

    I work in medicine and when the quality of life is lost and there is likely to be no second chances ...yes
    it's time to leave gracefully
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
    As a nurse who worked with terminally ill once told me, "Sometimes death IS the best medicine."
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    Mar 04, 2008 4:49 AM GMT
    When our mother was dying of Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma my sister and I were trying to figure out a way to get her from Washington State into a facility in Oregon where would have the option of terminating her life with the assistance of The Hemlock Society. Unfortunately, her tumor and progressive radiation induced osteo and soft tissue necrosis robbed her of the ability to make decisions for herself. The mother I knew died 6 months prior to her body catching up. She was in excruciating pain every second of it. She escaped from the nursing home on two occasions and tried to throw herself in front of a moving vehicle. I would say it would have been a blessing if she succeeded except that the driver of the vehicle would have been emotionally scarred for life. Eventually we were able to get the doctors and the facility to up her pain meds to the point where she was too snowed to take nutrition and she faded quietly away one morning. If the religious right didn't have such a strong influence in this country, maybe people would be able to end their lives with a bit more dignity. People should be able to put provisions in their living wills that would not only prevent extraordinary measures being taken to prolong their suffering, but would allow for a fatal dose of methadone or morphine to be negotiated before the patient loses decision making capacity.
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    Mar 04, 2008 5:18 AM GMT
    All true but my grandmother always said "We do not get to choose when we die. When the Lord calls us home we are going regardless of what anyone wants."
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    Mar 04, 2008 5:47 AM GMT
    Signboy07 saidAll true but my grandmother always said "We do not get to choose when we die. When the Lord calls us home we are going regardless of what anyone wants."


    I strongly disagree. One should be able to end one's life in circumstances of end stage terminal illness when quality of life has deteriorated past what the individual perceives as tolerable. Additionally, the individual should be able to make provisions in the event that they become unable to make decisions due to disease process. The individual should be able to outline ahead of time at what point euthanasia should be administered and draw up a legally binding contract with the medical power of attorney to assure that it gets done.
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    Mar 04, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    I think that that's something I'd discuss with my partner sometime after we'd become serious with one another. If it were their wish to go on living like a vegetable until some cure was found, I'd allow for it; of course the 'in laws' would have their as well. But, if they didn't want to kept alive in a coma half ass state, than of course I'd call for the doctors to pull the plug; after the in laws were notified to give their goodbyes.

    I myself don't want to be kept on life support unless there's a high chance for survival and recovery. If I'm going to be in pain, or just be a sadness well for my loved ones than at some point, when there's nothing more to be to done to alleviate my critical situation, I want the doctors to pull the plug, and my donatable organs to go to save someone who may need them more than I. How can I cause so much heartache to my loved ones and prolong my own suffering; when I could end someone else's suffering and heartache? It's just not logical.
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    Mar 04, 2008 6:32 AM GMT
    I guess in response to an above poster that if we all went when the lord called us home, the planet would have a lot fewer people as there are plenty that we keep alive after the lord's pulled their number with our modern medical practice and technology. Not that I think that there is anything either wrong or right with that, but just that the lord has been left holding only the number pulled on many an occasion.

    Personally I would want to choose euthenasia in many a circumstance. I don't want to be a burden either financial or otherwise on people, and if I'm dying and terminal don't drag it out.

    On a personal note, when my mother died it was both a sense of relief and sorrow. She was no longer herself and in that state it was no longer someone who was either happy or who had a fulfilling existence, but yes, I would have wanted her back as she had been before the illness. And I certainly miss having her as who she was, but I don't regret her dying as she was no longer herself, or what people had found most attractive in her -- her personality.

    I don't know. It would be hard to let a partner go, but I guess it should be for the person to decide, and one should respect that decision.
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    Mar 04, 2008 6:46 AM GMT
    wrerick said
    On a personal note, when my mother died it was both a sense of relief and sorrow. She was no longer herself and in that state it was no longer someone who was either happy or who had a fulfilling existence, but yes, I would have wanted her back as she had been before the illness. And I certainly miss having her as who she was, but I don't regret her dying as she was no longer herself, or what people had found most attractive in her -- her personality.



    Thank you. That was my experience with my mother. It was even harder because she was nurse for over 30 years and knew exactly how horrible it could be, but lost her ability to reason almost immediately after the prognosis went from worse to worst. I know that if she had been in her right mind and had more time to prepare she would have ended it herself.
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    Mar 04, 2008 6:52 AM GMT
    jprichva saidI agree with the posters above, and I'd add this:

    Don't waste any of my or your money on a fancy funeral. Go down to the grocery store, get a Hefty Cinch-Sak, and leave me at the curb on trash day.

    Money wasted on elaborate caskets is silly.


    l agree no Pink Casket for me! Burn me on a pile of logs then throw the bones to the vultures and whatever is left thro' it out to sea to float!
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    Mar 04, 2008 6:59 AM GMT
    When i die i would like to be thrown to the wolves or something so that my useless corpse could still be of some use at least.icon_rolleyes.gif If my lover were dying i think i might be selfish and keep him around as long as i could.icon_cry.gif