So my ex is dating someone else...

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    Oct 06, 2010 8:22 PM GMT
    ...with the same name as me, same height, same build, same eye color, same hair color, same haircut.

    Am I the only one that finds this a little weird?
    icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 06, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    The first three guys on your hot list are bald, white, beefcakes.

    So if your ex is weird then so are you.
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    Oct 06, 2010 8:41 PM GMT
    lol that's my buddy list, not my hot list!
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    Oct 06, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    So it is icon_smile.gif

    All I am saying is, some guys have a type. Don't worry about it too much and just look forward to the next guy you are going to date/boink.
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    Oct 06, 2010 9:18 PM GMT
    Thats to be expected, you were his type
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    Oct 06, 2010 9:19 PM GMT
    amar_m saidThats to be expected, you were his type


    ditto.
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    Oct 06, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    OldChristine_S2.jpg
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    Oct 06, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    Is it all apart of being young, to have a "typ?"

    Because when I was Young, I did have a type. Now I'm middle aged my type come in all different shaped sizes and colours too.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Oct 06, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    It's a bit odd, but often people will fall for someone who looks like an ex subconsciously. It could be an indication he's not over you, or it might not. Either way, it's his issue not yours.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Oct 06, 2010 10:10 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidThe first three guys on your hot list are bald, white, beefcakes.

    So if your ex is weird then so are you.


    Thank you. I think the whole house shook with my laughing.
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    Oct 06, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    Yeah, I don't know the exact reasoning, but I did find it kinda strange lol.
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    Oct 06, 2010 10:50 PM GMT
    breakers said...with the same name as me, same height, same build, same eye color, same hair color, same haircut.

    Am I the only one that finds this a little weird?
    icon_confused.gif


    Not really. Depends how long you were together, how tight you were, if you were in love etc.

    When I broke up with my younger boyfriend, he went after a guy around my age who had a kid the same age as mine. and I went after a guy who reminded me of him.

    I tried, even recently, to project that relationship onto others hoping to recreate the love that we had, but of course that doesn't work at all. Now past him, I am expanding horizons.

    But at first you might go for someone who might resemble your ex because of the comfort value maybe. at least thats what we did.

    Note: I'm note telling anyone what to do! Just expressing my opinion, which is not affiliated with RJ or any of its sponsors. Paid for by the campaign for democratic equality.
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    Oct 07, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    No big deal.. and common. I went on a date with a guy after I broke up with my ex (first "true love"). We went to a bar and shot some pool and in the right light, I noticed how much the guy resembled my ex.
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    Oct 07, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie said
    The first three guys on your hot list are bald, white, beefcakes.

    So if your ex is weird then so are you.


    fairpoint alot of baldguys in your bud and hot list
    "not that there's anything wrong with that" as seinfeld would say
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    Oct 07, 2010 2:14 AM GMT
    GBRelentless saidOldChristine_S2.jpg

    what's up with this?
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    Oct 07, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    ^ I don't think she even knows what the fuck it is. Hence why she's making all of those faces on the cover.

    Re your other post, that may be true now that I think about it, but that's just one physical characteristic. I don't really think that compares at all to my ex dating someone that shares multiple specific characteristics with me. We all have things that we're attracted to, yeah, I just am having a weird time over this about how I should feel. I don't know if it's just coincidence or something bigger is going on here. I don't know why I even care.
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    Oct 07, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    If it was me, I would be flattered... He's looking for your look-a-like... which means he must have enjoyed his time with you enough to date the same exact person.

    Although this definitely could have a negative connotation as well... stalker/nuts,etc.
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    Oct 07, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    I read a study recently that anonymous people could match spouses by looking at one partner and a picture of the partner's opposite sex parent. It seems that we are imprinted with a type at some point in our reptilian brains and that type is very hard to shake.

    I have no idea what this means for gay people except that all my live in lovers have been over 6 ft tall, salt and pepper hair and a slim physique with a long torso. This is also a description of my father at a time when we got along very well... go figure?? not really...just that we haven't come THAT far in evolution
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    Oct 07, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    breakers said...with the same name as me, same height, same build, same eye color, same hair color, same haircut.

    Am I the only one that finds this a little weird?
    icon_confused.gif


    He can't keep you so he is settling for someone similar, whats so weird about that? icon_biggrin.gif
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Oct 07, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    amar_m saidThats to be expected, you were his type


    correct my little med school student. same with mine.
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    Oct 07, 2010 1:21 PM GMT
    Meh he is your ex for a reason right?

    Let him be with whatever he wants to do lol. I only find it a little strange, like others said here people can have a type. And there are plenty of fish out there...

    But don't focus on him. Focus on you. =) Let him be weird.
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    Oct 07, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    My ex got married to a guy who worked in the same industry as myself...
  • RupCadell

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    Oct 07, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    Yeah it happened to me, too: my ex found someone same build and look as myself (thought a bit uglier, thank god!!)

    I found a new guy similar to him. Then we broke up.

    BF #3 is hardly like #1.

    So in my case, by BF #3, I had escaped his "type," including his look and build. #3 is also a lot nicer and a quality guy, unlike #1.
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    Oct 07, 2010 1:41 PM GMT
    breakers said...with the same name as me, same height, same build, same eye color, same hair color, same haircut.

    Am I the only one that finds this a little weird?
    icon_confused.gif

    Lots of guys tend to date the same type, even if they don't realize they're doing it, a subconscious thing going on. My current partner is a lot like my late partner, though I didn't plan it that way:

    - singer in a gay chorus
    - Italian heritage
    - older than me
    - active in the gay community, especially with gay charities
    - cooking as his hobby
    - loves to eat out as well
    - similar interests in movies, music, food, interior design, etc.

    So that rather than finding it weird in your ex's case, I find it typical. And look to find yourself doing the same thing with your own BFs.

    Nothing wrong with it, actually kinda normal. We seek what interests us.
  • LEOPOLDIVX

    Posts: 64

    Oct 07, 2010 1:45 PM GMT
    Well not to sound mean but it looks like he still likes you and found himself the perfect replacement if he cant have you.

    Try to move on and for the love of God dont go out and find somone just like him for the sake of feeling comfortable or making up for what you two had.

    Be yourself... breath and forgive him. On the other hand why have you not been dating?