Broken Beyond Repair

  • SamSam

    Posts: 32

    Oct 08, 2010 12:27 PM GMT
    hey so i have a question to ask how do you stop loving someone ??? my ex broke up with me about 6 months ago and i am still in love with him.

    i have been trying so hard to get over him but its just not working icon_sad.gif i have recently been angery at him and trying to hate him instead of loving him but that has just turned me into a mean, twised and hateful person and i donnt want to be like that.

    i have also started to sleep around to try and get his attention but that is just messing me up more.

    i gave him my hart my body and my soul and he has just thrown it away without a second glance.

    i have lost sight of who i used to be and wish so badly that i could get back in touch with the old me.

    So please anyone how do you get over some one who you love so much?!?!

    i just miss him so much and i want this pain to stop! help me please !
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    Oct 08, 2010 2:27 PM GMT
    It took me a year to get over my first bf. It took me having absolutely no contact with him. no phone calls, no emails, no talking on line, no trying to be friends.
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    Oct 08, 2010 2:38 PM GMT
    xXvampXx saidi have lost sight of who i used to be and wish so badly that i could get back in touch with the old me.

    If you can write those words, then you already have your answer.

    Consider those of us who have lost our dearest lover, not due to choice by him or by us, but due to death. That's happened to both me and to my current partner.

    And what do you do then? Who do you blame? Who do you get mad at? How do you undo it?

    What you do is heal, which may take some time, and then you move on. Your old self with return after a while; humans are resilient and built to handle these things.

    This guy is dead to you, even if he's still physically alive. The best way to forget an old love is with a new love. Not with 1-night tricks as you seem to have been trying, but with a genuine relationship. You need to wipe the slate clean and start over.

    When a new man comes into your life, the old one will no longer haunt you.
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    Oct 08, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    Take two aspirins.
  • SamSam

    Posts: 32

    Oct 08, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    Caslon16000 saidTake two aspirins.


    every twenty seconds for an hour icon_twisted.gif

    also i work with my ex almost every day at the circus we even sometimes have full body contact and thats what is so hard about it!!
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    Oct 21, 2010 10:31 AM GMT
    I'm not sure if this will help you, but I do meditational work called "cutting cords". In fact, you can do this with all kinds of relationships that have a negative grasp on you. Its visionary and can be quite powerful if you can commit to it. There are videos on YouTube that can walk you through it. Sounds like you're spinning.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 21, 2010 11:29 AM GMT
    i work with my ex almost every day at the circus we even sometimes have full body contact and thats what is so hard about it

    Bad situation but you're going to need to get your mind on other things

    The faster you separate the idea of him and you .... literally and figuratively the better off you will be
    so if there's any other way to get a new position at work
    and any way to not see him .... do it

    also get your mind on thinking of something else ... get out and do volunteer work
    get a hobby
    start training for a marathon
    just DO something where you're not thinking and obsessing about him
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    Oct 21, 2010 11:38 AM GMT
    I know the feeling very well. My ex and I broke up this past June and I still think about him all the time. I don't sleep around to forget him b/c it's just not me. Things will get better, it just takes a long time, sometimes. I find it has been helpful to "cry" on a friend's shoulder every once in a while.

    Relationships are tough in every way possible, but that is what makes them worthwhile. Despite the pain I feel fortunate for the relationship b/c it made me a stronger person, showed me things about myself and helped me realize what I need and want in a partner. It hurts, but it was also a blessing.

    Hang in there, my friend. This too shall pass....

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    Oct 22, 2010 2:26 PM GMT
    The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for thinking about him and the end of your relationship. Give the emotions space to breath and in time it will get easier.

    It will take some time, and with you working with him so closely, it's going to feel like your heart is being ripped out over and over. Trust me, it does get better.
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    Oct 22, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    xXvampXx saidhey so i have a question to ask how do you stop loving someone ??? my ex broke up with me about 6 months ago and i am still in love with him.

    i have been trying so hard to get over him but its just not working icon_sad.gif i have recently been angery at him and trying to hate him instead of loving him but that has just turned me into a mean, twised and hateful person and i donnt want to be like that.

    i have also started to sleep around to try and get his attention but that is just messing me up more.

    i gave him my hart my body and my soul and he has just thrown it away without a second glance.

    i have lost sight of who i used to be and wish so badly that i could get back in touch with the old me.

    So please anyone how do you get over some one who you love so much?!?!

    i just miss him so much and i want this pain to stop! help me please !


    It is really quite simply; in order to "get over" someone you need to accept yourself. Accepting NO is a hardened task, instead of blaming and harming yourself for his saying you aren't FOR HIM, accept that you must remain you with or without him.

    From that I will also state, there are deep emotional issues here of how you value yourself. If you, the fact that you have been rejected has led you to harm yourself both physically through relentless sexual encounters and mentally. It isn't a question of whether you deserve someone else, it is a question of why you and he deserve each other. By the sounds of it, you still have some work to do on accepting yourself before any one else can possibly accept you.

    I am not being harsh, but this post is paramount to an infliction of self-disregard based on others. If someone said they disliked your right arm cause you had a tattoo that was bad, would you go cut off your right arm? Your ex boyfriend (of over six months) is telling you, you are not what HE is looking for. Stop focusing on what is right for him by perceiving you are best for HIM, and start focusing on what is best for you. He is not best for you as he would not emotionally provide you with what you deserve in a partner going forward.

    Self-reflect, accept, cope, heal, and move on. Most importantly, remember to focus on YOU and not what is best for him. That is where you are missing the boat here.
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    Oct 23, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    Wow.. Im so sorry to hear what happened... I wish I knew how to give advice.. Im going through that right now, and I have a feeling I will end up going through what you're going through :[ its hard.. but just be strong is all i can really say.
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    Oct 23, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    You work together? Get a new job. I couldn't handle that.