Uncomfortable around other gays?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    Disclaimer: not saying all gay guys are like this, just my experience.

    I was bullied a few years in school, mostly by straight guys. For a while, it made me uncomfortable around straight guys as I was worried they would make fun of me. I'm now in my 20's and find that most straight guys are polite and nice to me. Problem is I'm finding that I'm having a similar with a lot of gay guys I meet. They remind me a lot of the guys that used to bully me in that they're mean (bitchy, making fun of people) and it makes me uncomfortable around them. I also find I have a hard time relating to most I meet: I'm not interested in shopping, celebrity gossip, sleeping around etc. Problem is that's all I ever seem to meet and I'm beginning to worry that I'm just going to end up alone. Anyone else ever felt this? If so, what did you do to get over it? And where did you meet guys with similar interests?
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    Oct 09, 2010 8:51 PM GMT
    I know how you feel. All of my friends are straight I don't have a single gay friend in my life at the moment. Iv never had more than 1 or 2 gay friends at a time. I moved to Atlanta in 03 and lived there until 09 and made friends with only one other gay guy. I found most to be cliquish, catty, bitchy talked and made fun of everyone behind their backs including those they called friend.. I figured at the time that maybe that's just how Atlanta was. Prior to moving there I heard nothing good about that city..
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    Oct 09, 2010 8:53 PM GMT
    newbie444 saidI was bullied a few years in school, mostly by straight guys.
    That's what YOU think! icon_lol.gif
    Straight guys don't bully gay guys. Only other gay guys do.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 09, 2010 9:06 PM GMT
    You wont end up all alone guy, your only 20 for cryin out loud...Attend events that intrests ;you [ i.e. museums, gallerys, ect] in hopes of finding someone like mind'd.. Personally i tend to stay away from loud agressive people in general, gay or Str8 but i know what you mean....
    Just stay cool because the cream always rises to the top..icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 09, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    you got the wrong gay crowd , that's all.

    i have gay friends, we talk about work, life, projects, trips , cars , ... usual stuff
    ( not sport though, they suck in that department ) .

    oh, we talk about men too... but i'd rather have that than talking about women with straight friends ( zzzzzz).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    Another one of these First-Post Whiners. What's up with this? This can't just be coincidence. ... icon_rolleyes.gif

    "My toilet training was rushed and at first I thought it was the straight guys, but now I can't relate to any of the gay guys I meet. Discuss"

    We need a forum for first-post therapy!

    I think we have a member who gets his freak on by making a fake ID then posting these threads.
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    Oct 10, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Thanks for the info everyone, appreciate it.
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    Oct 10, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    newbie444 saidDisclaimer: not saying all gay guys are like this, just my experience.

    I was bullied a few years in school, mostly by straight guys. For a while, it made me uncomfortable around straight guys as I was worried they would make fun of me. I'm now in my 20's and find that most straight guys are polite and nice to me. Problem is I'm finding that I'm having a similar with a lot of gay guys I meet. They remind me a lot of the guys that used to bully me in that they're mean (bitchy, making fun of people) and it makes me uncomfortable around them. I also find I have a hard time relating to most I meet: I'm not interested in shopping, celebrity gossip, sleeping around etc. Problem is that's all I ever seem to meet and I'm beginning to worry that I'm just going to end up alone. Anyone else ever felt this? If so, what did you do to get over it? And where did you meet guys with similar interests?


    Some gay guys are bitchy and mean and stupid - just like some str8 guys are.

    It is totally dependent on you - who you decide to associate with.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Oct 10, 2010 4:20 PM GMT
    newbie444 saidThanks for the info everyone, appreciate it.


    It does get better... it just takes time. Suggestions - attend events of interests (i.e. art galleries, museums, tours, political rallies, college clubs etc.) or join a gay rights organization. I joined a local gay rights organization, and I met many local LGBT people. Yes, gay gossip comes with the territory, but all in all, I made a lot of new friends. For my organization, it's politics... the gay liberals vs. gay conservatives.

    Everyone is polite, but there is an undercurrent of 'I'm better than you' attitudes... but it's mostly over "fiscal" issues. Though there are several gay conservatives I know who are friends with me - ironically enough, the younger guys are the snobbiest, while the older guys are much personable and engaging.

    It's not about 'who is fucking who' or 'who's wearing what'. My biggest advice it to dump someone ASAP if they don't treat you right - the hell with them. We've all lived through the bullying and the venomous gossip.... the good thing about getting older is that you don't have to tolerate that shit anymore.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Oct 10, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    xassantex saidyou got the wrong gay crowd , that's all.

    i have gay friends, we talk about work, life, projects, trips , cars , ... usual stuff
    ( not sport though, they suck in that department ) .

    oh, we talk about men too... but i'd rather have that than talking about women with straight friends ( zzzzzz).


    AGREED