Sylas saidCan someone define "in the closet" please?
Or more importantly. What is out of the closet. What constitutes that? Are there like certain requirements to be out of the closet?
Technically if you are out of the closet, there are people that know you are gay. But its more complicated than that, you might be out of closet with family but closeted at work so your family knows you are gay but not out at work. And by not out, I mean that if it ever comes up in conversation you deter conversation or just lie about your status. That said you can be out but not be out and proud, like you could tell people you are gay but don't go actively telling people Hi I'm Blank, I'm Gay, but if it ever come up you truthfully say you are gay. That said I am not saying you aren't proud of your gayness if you don't wear it around just saying out and proud typically refers to being outspoken about their being out.
Things are often best explained in hypothetical situations:
If you are comfortable with PDA: Assume you are on a date with a guy (first, second, third whatever) and a friend/family member/or coworker sees you, what would you say to that person about who your date is. If you blatantly lie and make a cover story about who it is etc, you are way in the closet. If you say its a guy and you are on a date, you are obviously out. If you say he is a friend, you are either in the closet or out but with modesty or embarrassed like if it was your mother who saw you on a first date with a guy lol.
Lets assume now that you have been seeing the guy for 6 months its getting close to holidays, and family get together and holidays. You are invited to the office Christmas party, do you bring him along and be out to your coworkers, do you go alone. If you go alone and a cute girl hits on you in front of your coworkers do you play along so you can stay in the closet or dismiss it and say sorry I'm gay. Say that you spending two weeks at family for Christmas and he wants to share it with you, do you go as a couple, if so do you tell the family he is boyfriend or do you say he is a friend, and if he is living with you by now would you say he is just a roommate.
These situations can go on and on, there is no firm line really but its about what you feel comfortable with, and in general, being out is mostly about not keeping secrets from friends and family about who we are and the people in our lives. That said, you don't have to go advertise on TV when you are out, or even be into PDA to be out, there is modesty in this world so if you don't want to hold his hand or kiss him you don't have to but you can still be out, but not holding his hand or kiss him because he is a guy in public (assuming you aren't in homophobic area and afraid for safety) but would hold a girls hand or kiss her in public then you probably in the closet. If there was a line that divides out and not out then it would be with same moral compass, ethical views, and feeling on PDA and what not, would your behavior change significantly if your were heterosexual with a girl in these and many other situations or homosexual with a guy in these and many other situations, if your behavior would significantly change then you are probably in the closet, if it wouldn't then you probably out