Am I jealous of my boyfriend?

  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 12, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    Looking for honest opinions.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. About 3 months ago, he came up with this idea about building a website catering to the vampire craze of twilight, true blood, and vampire diaries. For those of you not familiar with all this vampire stuff- basically this "vampire craze" is very popular among teenage girls and even adults. People are obsessed with Robert Pattinson, etc. HUGE FAN BASE

    So he started a fan page on facebook to build momentum for his website, so when the site actually launches, he will have a fan page on facebook to let the people know what is going on with the site and to encourage the fans to visit the site. He spends a lot of his time building up the fan page and inter-acting with the fans.
    His website will be all about vampire news, such as press releases on twilight, hollywood gossip on Robert Pattinson, updates on True Blood, etc.
    On his web page he will be selling things to make a profit, such as wrist bands, t-shirts, some jewelry, etc On is facebook fanpage he will post updates about this celebrity or this twilight event and naturally people will comment and "like" the post.
    I feel as though he cares more about a facebook comment and collecting fans to his fan page more than anything else.
    Am I jealous of all the attention is paying to these strangers online? I mean if he's not on the laptop, then he's on his phone counting the number of fans he has.
    We've talked about it before and I've expressed my concern for the amount of time he spends on the computer, so he cut that out by about 50% but now he's on his phone looking at it more.

    I understand he wants his website to be successful and he wants to market it as much as possible, but I feel so jealous sometimes because these random strangers that post a comment or like a status get all of his attention.
    I hate feeling that way and I feel as if I'm being silly because I should not be getting jealous of people commenting on his post. Recently, thats all he talks about. The success of his website and how much money he will be making and this and that. His obsession with money and the website are bothering me and I don't know why. I don't have the same desire for money as he does, so I feel like we have different priorities

    I'm jealous of how much he talks about money and the website, and everything else. Am I wrong? Am I being an asshole?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    If you love him, you'll support him instead of being jealous.
    If you stay jealous, the relationship will be over before Christmas.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 12, 2010 3:31 PM GMT
    Am I being jealous unreasonably?!

    Like ugh! Why do I even feel this way?
    Why does it bother me that he spends such am exorbanent amount of time on this?

    Maybe part of me thinks the whole idea is stupid and won't work!!

    But I do wanna support him however I find it hard to support vampires and celebrity news and wrist bands. I don't know icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 12, 2010 3:36 PM GMT
    Import saidAm I being jealous unreasonably?!

    Like ugh! Why do I even feel this way?
    Why does it bother me that he spends such am exorbanent amount of time on this?

    Maybe part of me thinks the whole idea is stupid and won't work!!

    But I do wanna support him however I find it hard to support vampires and celebrity news and wrist bands. I don't know icon_sad.gif



    lol, you're discovering a part of yourself that needs work. Self examination is often not easy, but I feel you're on the right track, and Paul (sweet Paul) has pointed out an excellent way you can turn these feelings around. Get involved with his venture as you would want him to be enthused about yours. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Oct 12, 2010 3:50 PM GMT
    Import saidBut I do wanna support him however I find it hard to support vampires and celebrity news and wrist bands. I don't know icon_sad.gif
    Instead of thinking of it terms of "vampires and celebrity news and wrist bands," think of it as a business. Even if you don't enjoy the products or services of that business, surely you can appreciate the fact that your bf is ambitious enough to make his own career as an entrepreneur. Personally, I'd much rather have a bf who owns his own business rather than being locked into a job that has no stability. Self-employment rocks! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 12, 2010 3:59 PM GMT
    Are you jealous?
    Maybe, but you also said you’ve been together almost 2 years.
    The two year mark is usually when most relationships fall apart…the honeymoon is over and you start wondering if you can really spend the rest of your life with this person. You start looking for things that aren’t really there so you can have an excuse to get out.
    Keep the communication open…there must be some part of this venture that you can get excited about, if not then explore a hobby you’ve been neglecting. Contrary to popular believe you don’t need to have all the same interest as your man and after two years it is normal to be less into each other and more into self interests as long as you have the same goals, it will all work out.
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    Oct 12, 2010 4:03 PM GMT
    My partner has a website, blog, Facebook page etc but I don't begrudge him the time he spends on it, because actually he doesn't spend a huge amount on it and I don't feel neglected. The only time we argue about it is when he's updating his site when he needs to go to bed!

    I think if you feel he is genuinely spending too much time on the site and not on your relationship you have grounds to raise it as an issue - now, before it gets out of hand. If however, he is spending a reasonable amount of time but still makes you feel valued, maybe you are just being a jealous monster :-)
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 12, 2010 7:04 PM GMT
    Def don't wanna be a jealous monster. Fuck!! How did I get like this? This is not the person I wanna be!! I hate jealous people.
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    Oct 12, 2010 7:12 PM GMT
    Import saidDef don't wanna be a jealous monster. Fuck!! How did I get like this? This is not the person I wanna be!! I hate jealous people.
    Is it really jealousy? Or is it envy? To me, it sounds more like the latter.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 12, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Import saidDef don't wanna be a jealous monster. Fuck!! How did I get like this? This is not the person I wanna be!! I hate jealous people.
    Is it really jealousy? Or is it envy? To me, it sounds more like the latter.


    Aren't jealousy and envy one in the same?
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    Oct 12, 2010 8:58 PM GMT
    Import said
    paulflexes said
    Import saidDef don't wanna be a jealous monster. Fuck!! How did I get like this? This is not the person I wanna be!! I hate jealous people.
    Is it really jealousy? Or is it envy? To me, it sounds more like the latter.


    Aren't jealousy and envy one in the same?


    Jealousy is for something that you have, envy is for something that you don't. So you could say you are jealous over your bf spending time on pursuits that don't include you, but you could equally say you are envious of the time he spends on those pursuits.
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    Oct 12, 2010 9:14 PM GMT


    That whole thing just read like a PLUG for your BF's website...sryicon_wink.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 12, 2010 11:04 PM GMT
    I truly just wanna be a good boyfriend.
    I wanna be supportive, etc

    Never, ever have I been the jealous type either.

    Anyway, after giving it some thought today, I realized that what I need to do is put aside my petty jealousy, because it's my own problem. Not his.

    I can't even believe I got like that, I'm almost disappointed in myself for getting this way.

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    Oct 13, 2010 1:00 AM GMT


    Definitely being an asshole. and possessive. and selfish. and self centered. I'm frankly surprised you have a boyfriend.

    You have a boyfriend, and now you want to control him? Dude seriously!
    Be glad you have a boyfriend. Leave it at that.

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    Oct 13, 2010 1:04 AM GMT
    Jealousy is such a natural emotion and it creeps up on us from time to time. Don't beat yourself up about it, recognize it as something that's come about naturally and grab it by the ass before it gets ugly.

    I didn't read your whole post but perhaps have a talk with him and discuss some of the core issues that are bothering you. It may be that both of you have something to change and correct.

    A lot of the times, money and recognition can get a bit too addictive. Perhaps he should take a bit of a break from it to prove that he's not obsessed in his work and that he still values you above everything else.
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    Its not like he's seeing other people, that would be something to be jealous about, but a website? come on! Get a grip!
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:06 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said

    Definitely being an asshole. and possessive. and selfish. and self centered. I'm frankly surprised you have a boyfriend.

    You have a boyfriend, and now you want to control him? Dude seriously!
    Be glad you have a boyfriend. Leave it at that.



    What a twat! Argh that just made me really angry!

    Why do people feel the need to be as unhelpful and counter-productive as possible!? Do something useful with your life!
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    If your jealous of your boyfriend because of the attention that he gets from his website/blog, then yes that is a little strange.

    Now if you are jealous of your boyfriends blog/website because of the attention that it gets from him (if it is excessive) then it may be valid.

    If its the second one, have you tried talking to him?
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    Import saidLooking for honest opinions.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. About 3 months ago, he came up with this idea about building a website catering to the vampire craze of twilight, true blood, and vampire diaries. For those of you not familiar with all this vampire stuff- basically this "vampire craze" is very popular among teenage girls and even adults. People are obsessed with Robert Pattinson, etc. HUGE FAN BASE

    So he started a fan page on facebook to build momentum for his website, so when the site actually launches, he will have a fan page on facebook to let the people know what is going on with the site and to encourage the fans to visit the site. He spends a lot of his time building up the fan page and inter-acting with the fans.
    His website will be all about vampire news, such as press releases on twilight, hollywood gossip on Robert Pattinson, updates on True Blood, etc.
    On his web page he will be selling things to make a profit, such as wrist bands, t-shirts, some jewelry, etc On is facebook fanpage he will post updates about this celebrity or this twilight event and naturally people will comment and "like" the post.
    I feel as though he cares more about a facebook comment and collecting fans to his fan page more than anything else.
    Am I jealous of all the attention is paying to these strangers online? I mean if he's not on the laptop, then he's on his phone counting the number of fans he has.
    We've talked about it before and I've expressed my concern for the amount of time he spends on the computer, so he cut that out by about 50% but now he's on his phone looking at it more.

    I understand he wants his website to be successful and he wants to market it as much as possible, but I feel so jealous sometimes because these random strangers that post a comment or like a status get all of his attention.
    I hate feeling that way and I feel as if I'm being silly because I should not be getting jealous of people commenting on his post. Recently, thats all he talks about. The success of his website and how much money he will be making and this and that. His obsession with money and the website are bothering me and I don't know why. I don't have the same desire for money as he does, so I feel like we have different priorities

    I'm jealous of how much he talks about money and the website, and everything else. Am I wrong? Am I being an asshole?


    Just a thought...is there any possibility that you could help out with some of the mundane tasks that he might need in the website, lists, database names, etc. Suggest helping out. In this manner, you are part of the process and he could diminish less time since you are helping him and supporting him. In a sense, he is building something for the future with him. I can understand since I am in the process of building my business and still in my present job so sometimes it can be all consuming...again just a suggestion and may not be relevant.
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    Import said... Anyway, after giving it some thought today, I realized that what I need to do is put aside my petty jealousy, because it's my own problem. Not his.
    You already recognize the most important factor right there. It won't be long till you totally support him.
    Until then, make him work nude so you can grope all over him while he's working. icon_biggrin.gif