When do you dump the guy you're dating?

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    Oct 13, 2010 1:22 PM GMT
    The subject came up over dinner with some friends last night. Here's the premise: when the excitement and "new-ness" ware off and the everyday realities start appearing, what's your litmus test for dumping someone?
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    Oct 13, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    I don't dump the guy I'm seeing. I just add more to the list. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 13, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    My litmus test for considering dumping someone is simply to draw a line down the center of a page. I list the reasons to keep going with the relationship on one side, and the reasons to put an end to thing on the other. I find it enlightening and clarifying to read and think about all the data on the page. This has always helped me make my decision to go or stay.

    Every one of my relationships have had some good things, and some not so good. Each guy I've been lucky to have been with had a lot of pluses, but sooner of later I've gotten an itch to make a change.............until now. My present relationship is going to be "the ONE".

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    Oct 13, 2010 4:23 PM GMT
    He smokes...I HATE SMOKING!
    He expects me to bareback him, I am an absolute "safer sex" guy
    He is not physically active or fit....I AM!
    He eats for shit and irregularly...I am VERY regimented and particular about what I eat
    He does poppers and I DON'T
    He collects toys like HE-MAN, SHE-RA, VOLTRON, SAILOR MOON, etc and I DON'T
    He is 25 and I am 50
    He likes hip-hop and top 40, I like metal and Hard Rock
    He wants a "dad", I want an equal peer...etc...
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    Oct 17, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    I consider the following as reasonable criteria:

    1. Your values are at risk;
    2. He doesn't respect you or the people you love/admire;
    3. He misses or misinterprets your gestures of love;
    4. He lacks any intelligence, logic, or common sense;
    5. He is full of lies.
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    Oct 17, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    Sporty_g - Do you only want to date guys that are exactly like you? That doesn't seem very fun. I can see some of your issues as incompatible. But, having different hobbies like collections or listening to different music doesn't seem like a deal breaker. But, that's just me.
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    Oct 17, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    I don't really understand. If you've made it to the point where the newness has worn off, then at that point I would say the only reason to leave a relationship is if you no longer are in love. At least for me, any litmus test or "list-making" should happen way early before the excitement of it being new even wears off...
  • awayfromtheci...

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    Oct 17, 2010 11:34 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidMy litmus test for considering dumping someone is simply to draw a line down the center of a page. I list the reasons to keep going with the relationship on one side, and the reasons to put an end to thing on the other. I find it enlightening and clarifying to read and think about all the data on the page. This has always helped me make my decision to go or stay.

    Every one of my relationships have had some good things, and some not so good. Each guy I've been lucky to have been with had a lot of pluses, but sooner of later I've gotten an itch to make a change.............until now. My present relationship is going to be "the ONE".

    icon_cool.gif


    He makes some good points. I don't understand why you are considering this if it is just about what you have written? Is there more to this? Did you misstate something?

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    Oct 17, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Like Ann Landers used to say, are you better off with him or without him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Like Ann Landers used to say, are you better off with him or without him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Like Ann Landers used to say, are you better off with him or without him.
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    Oct 18, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    You can say that, again!
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    Oct 18, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI don't dump the guy I'm seeing. I just add more to the list. icon_biggrin.gif


    WHAHAHHAA! Genius *tears from laughing*