silverfox1 saidYou like getting it on in the morning..... He is a "before bed" kind of guy. You work all day and that is the last thing you feel like doing. He doesn't want you to TOUCH him before his first cup of coffee ....and by that time you are halfway to the office.
So guys......what do you do?
Any true life stories? Any suggestions? I realize "true love conquers all"....but kind of going through this right now......would like to hear from some of you the face similar situations...
Like many relationship & sexual issues, there are parallels between the gay & straight worlds. Lots of straight couples experience this same "out of sync" problem with their sex lives as you've described. Here's some things I've read that I imagine would apply equally well to gay couples:
If a fundamental part of the problem is your daily business schedules forcing you to make only "night or day" choices, then you should create unstructured opportunities for sex outside the narrow time windows you're currently dealing with. Hopefully you both get some free days at the same time, for instance weekends. Plan ahead for them, turning them into romantic getaways. The idea is to break out of the confining routine you've got now, and to introduce a change of scenery if possible.
Which could be a day & night at the Parliament House (especially before the higher Winter rates hit), or just a Mom & Pop motel down along the ocean. Consider taking a full vacation, like we just did to New England, but beware of overly-structured & demanding itineraries, which could recreate the same problem you have at home.
You can also take a "vacation" right at home, if you are disciplined & creative enough. Since you seem to be more the morning person, serve him breakfast in bed. Don't touch him before his first cup of coffee if that's what he wants, but do hand it to him with whatever affectionate words work best with him.
Make sure you both get a lot of rest, and remove as many stressors from the calendar as you can before one of these "me & him" days is coming up. You want both your mind & body cleared for action, which will get you both into the mood more easily.
Try sex in the middle of the day, when you've got a day off. And do silly things. My late partner used to periodically declare a "naked Saturday" during which we couldn't wear a stitch all day at home, behaving like a pair of nudists. (My current partner tries to make every day naked) And before the naked Saturday was done, it would invariably lead to being a naughty Saturday, too.
But failure to resolve this issue can be deadly to a relationship. I did have one BF with whom I lived, who would get insatiably horny at the oddest hours. And he'd expect me to instantly turn on my own sex drive, revving up from idle to highway speed the moment he would approach me unexpectedly. Sometimes it worked, even could be a kind of turn-on, but also a turn-off if I was really tired or out of sorts, and he wouldn't take no for an answer.
And worse, get mad at me if my performance was less than its usual porn-star level (OK, I exaggerate, but he would become too demanding & unreasonable with me). One time he even threw and smashed a coffee cup when I said no to his demand for immediate sex. We were definitely a sexual mismatch, and I wasn't ever able to solve it, even when I tried to talk about it in calmer moments, as you should with your guy.
So I can't offer you a guaranteed approach, but give it your best. And let me know what's a good room to take at the Parliament House.