Small penis - Low self esteem

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 12:16 PM GMT
    I just met a really great guy. We have been dating for a few weeks now. I am happy with him except when we are nude together. I feel extremely inadequate. I start getting reserved and i lose my mood and it gets rather evident despite attempts not to. He is about 23 cm and im only 13cm. I cant help but feel really lousy about myself. I know relationships are not just about the dick size. But I keep getting the feeling that any other gay guy would want him cos he is big or that he may get bored of my in future...and what else do I have to offer sexually? Even before i met him i have never been able to meet guys for a random shag or anything. I am a horny guy by nature and have alot of built up energy with no way of releasing it. I really need help in getting rid of this icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 1:53 PM GMT
    Ask him how he feels.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 2:08 PM GMT
    Pics or you're lying. icon_razz.gif
    But really, some people prefer small dicks. It's very likely that he does if you're the only one complaining.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 2:28 PM GMT
    Your self image and attitude are pessimistic, that's what will turn most guys off quickly. Feeling "extremely inadequate" in itself will project itself on its own and sabotage your happiness in this and other things. One's size is usually less important to a potential BF (etc.) than (for example) attitude, smile, projected energy, and sensuality.

    The fact is that you've been dating for a few weeks. Something surely must be right otherwise you wouldn't have gotten past the first date or two.

    Keep it simple- don't make problems where they don't exist. Enjoy life, enjoy being horny, let your sensuality project itself. When size is the most important thing, one misses out on the real stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    There is only one person whose opinion matters at the moment: his.


    As an insurance policy, do squats and learn to bottom icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    Look at it this way--if he's a decent guy and he's into you, he'll be fine with your dick because it's attached to you. That's the strange thing about falling in love... quirks that might otherwise be a turnoff suddenly become endearing because they're a marker to him that it's you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2010 7:02 PM GMT
    nyc2sfo2010 saidLook at it this way--if he's a decent guy and he's into you, he'll be fine with your dick because it's attached to you. That's the strange thing about falling in love... quirks that might otherwise be a turnoff suddenly become endearing because they're a marker to him that it's you


    Yes indeed!
    100% correct.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    13cm? You mean a dick of PERFECTLY AVERAGE SIZE?

    That is right. Your dick is exactly average. Which means your inadequacy is all in your head.

    Do me a favor. Stop thinking about him for a minute. Think about all the times you have cum. Think about how much pleasure your dick has given you. There is nothing inadequate about that. Your dick is a tool to give you pleasure. And you need to do what gives you pleasure.

    Now, your partners are going to have needs and wants in bed, of course. You need to figure out how you two can mutually satisfy each other. You do that from listening to moans, how you position each other, from the way they roll their eyes in the back of their head as they cum, and most importantly by talking. If you are not talking about sex and what gets you guys off you are doing it wrong.

    But one thing is for sure, no one likes to be in bed with someone who thinks their PERFECTLY AVERAGE DICK is somehow less than because it is not at the distant reaches of the bell curve. Knock it off!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:08 AM GMT
    Caslon16000 saidAsk him how he feels.


    Im a tad hesitant to ask him how he feels cos its like revealing an insecurity that may very well bite me back in the arse in future. Also, if he is gonna say that he does indeed like bigger dicks that wld really be the end?


    Lostboy saidThere is only one person whose opinion matters at the moment: his.


    As an insurance policy, do squats and learn to bottom icon_rolleyes.gif


    A prime example, the guy with the smaller dick becomes the bottom. Not that this is a bad thing, but I think im more of top/vers than anything.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:10 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for all the other responses. I am trying my best to deal and have been trying to deal with my insecurities. Having grown up in a world where big dicks are the way to go, and bullied in school for having a small penis is making it really hard for me to let go of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:13 AM GMT
    ridin_solo88 saidThanks guys for all the other responses. I am trying my best to deal and have been trying to deal with my insecurities. Having grown up in a world where big dicks are the way to go, and bullied in school for having a small penis is making it really hard for me to let go of it.




    Dont worry friend i think it will work out fine not all guys love big dicks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:39 AM GMT
    I started watching porn at a very young age. All porn actors have big dicks. But then even when i went to the pool for a swim as a teen the guys in the changing rooms all have huge dicks. I thought i would grow into it but for some reason i havent. I am apparently normal, but from the guys i have been dating in the past, that doesnt seem normal.

    My whole life, the thing that i masturbate to is a guy with a huge penis. Somehow, putting myself down like that made me hard and cum. Is that really sad? And now, its like there are 2 sides that are conflicting. I want to feel inadequate, yet i want to know that i am adequate to meet his needs.
    I am a big guy. I am tall and big boned (no pun intended) and mayb my penis seems smaller in proportion to my body. Any1 who looks at us would think that i have the bigger penis because of my stature. But who would know that he is twice bigger than me?

    I don't know how to even begin sorting this issue out. After years and years, how do undo the very thing that makes me this horny yet makes me feel so low that a person shouldnt be allowed to feel that way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:46 AM GMT
    ridin_solo88 said But then even when i went to the pool for a swim as a teen the guys in the changing rooms all have huge dicks.

    ... I am apparently normal, but from the guys i have been dating in the past, that doesnt seem normal.



    I think I'm packing my bags and moving to the UK.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 11:50 AM GMT
    ridin_solo88 saidSomehow, putting myself down like that made me hard and cum. Is that really sad? And now, its like there are 2 sides that are conflicting.

    I don't know how to even begin sorting this issue out. After years and years, how do undo the very thing that makes me this horny yet makes me feel so low that a person shouldnt be allowed to feel that way?


    Being insulted and marginalized turns you on? Welcome to RJ! You're home, baby!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 12:00 PM GMT
    ridin_solo88 said
    Caslon16000 saidAsk him how he feels.


    Im a tad hesitant to ask him how he feels cos its like revealing an insecurity that may very well bite me back in the arse in future. Also, if he is gonna say that he does indeed like bigger dicks that wld really be the end?


    Lostboy saidThere is only one person whose opinion matters at the moment: his.


    As an insurance policy, do squats and learn to bottom icon_rolleyes.gif


    A prime example, the guy with the smaller dick becomes the bottom. Not that this is a bad thing, but I think im more of top/vers than anything.



    If you are more top then be top. Size has some relevance, but actually if you can use it skilfully then you win. Most people are pretty terrible tops actually: in, out, lose erection because of condom, done in 5 mins. Yawn. Use your imagination to find different ways of doing it: rhythm, speed, depth of penetration, whether you use your whole body or just your hips, angle. Work out whether the curve of your dick makes it better for you to go doggy style or with the guy on his back. Do you know if doggy with your left leg up over his is more intense than with your right leg up over his? You should. Then make combinations, work out positions you like, practice controlling ejaculation so that you can last for hours, not minutes, use your strengths, think about the way that gentle teasing and stroking fits with rough and wild... There is SO much to it and most tops are DULL... and the bigger boys often rely on their size to make up for total lack of skill. BORING.. really...boring. Have you made a guy cum without him touching his cock?.. work towards it. Have you made a guy lose his mind and have to lie on the bed for 5 minutes afterwards as he can´t process information any more? Work towards it. Have you made a guy moan and scream, not from pain, but because that is the only response he can find to the intensity of what you are doing to him? Do you know how to instruct your bottom so that he gets the most from it? Do you know how to do foreplay so that he is so desperate for cock that he is literally begging for it? I am overwhelmed at how dull most tops are.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Oct 16, 2010 12:24 PM GMT
    whats 13cm in inches anyone? besides, size doesnt really matter if you know how to use it...some guys have massive dongs and cant work with them if you know what i mean puppet, dont be sad or feel inadequate!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 12:41 PM GMT
    5.1inches
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    owen19832006 saidwhats 13cm in inches anyone? besides, size doesnt really matter if you know how to use it...some guys have massive dongs and cant work with them if you know what i mean puppet, dont be sad or feel inadequate!


    Well if 15cm is 6" and there's roughly 2.5cm to the inch, I'd say 13cm would be about 5".

    Still a lot you can do with 5" - after all, how long do you think a finger is? And if you know what you're doing, that's all you need...
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Oct 16, 2010 12:49 PM GMT
    IDK if it's just me but cock size is about the last thing I worry about in a guy I'm interested in. And I know I may be a minority but I'd prefer some one more in the 6 and 7 inch range. I don't get the size queens that say only 8 and over need apply. How do you suck on that? haha
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Oct 16, 2010 1:00 PM GMT
    That about my size. I have no problem. But of course most of my bf are Asian. So they about the same size as me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 1:15 PM GMT
    owen19832006 saidwhats 13cm in inches anyone? besides, size doesnt really matter if you know how to use it...some guys have massive dongs and cant work with them if you know what i mean puppet, dont be sad or feel inadequate!


    divide by 2.54
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    I'm about 4.5in., and I've been dating my right hand for almost 14 years now!

    Though I do cheat more often now.
  • BronxvilleNY3...

    Posts: 101

    Oct 16, 2010 1:33 PM GMT
    I deal everyday with people with serious medical conditions, some of them don’t really have hope, and some of them really are just waiting for the day to stop suffering. If you ask them what they would like, they would tell you “more time to enjoy life”. Stop being worry about things you cannot change, things that are irrelevant, learn how to be happy with what you have. I am pretty sure that there are people that would like to be in your place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    It could be worse. You could be a female and have no penis at all! aaaack!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 16, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    Cmon guys I have just met the guy who I think is the one.He is so sexy and hot I have to pinch myself.He has a regular dick (UC) which I fuckin love.The size of his cock means nothin to me.He is awesome in bed.I only have a six incher myself.Not fat and I dont have big balls.Do I wish I was a thick 8 with big nuts hell yeah but geez there are way more important things in life.I can see if a guy has a really small dick like 4 inches how that would affect his self esteem though.Lets hope they figure out a way to safely add an inch to a guys rod.I mean it is 2010 already lol. By the way I think masc guys with small cocks are hot so if anyone wants to show me theirs lol haha