being overweight

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 10:06 AM GMT
    Hi guys,
    my name is Dave, 26 years old. I really need to lose weight. Most of my friends are quite skinny and I am the only one who is overweight. This is really frustrating and I feel so alone. But who wants a partner who looks like a meatball :-( I thought about taking a diet pill. What do you think about this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 11:28 AM GMT
    Romeo a pill is not what you seek. Maybe a lifestyle change is in order. Only YOU have the power to change your lifestyle, not some pill that is filled with false hope. Being fit and weight proportionate is two fold- Diet and exercise. A healthy diet and regular exercise has to become apart of your lifestyle.

    Weight loss is very simple. Expend more energy than you take in- burn more calories than you consume.

    Best of luck to you guy. Keep your chin up and work hard. Search the forums here at RJ. There are a bunch of threads that can help you find your new direction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    First of all, your work ethic sucks.

    Plainly, if this was important to you, as you say, you would be respectful, and take time to complete a profile, and to provide a picture.

    The first adjustment you need to make is your outlook on how you accomplish tasks: anything worth doing should be worth doing well, including something as simple as joining a site like Real Jock.

    You didn't even do the bare minimum possible. If you continue in that modality, you are guaranteed to fail.

    Your first assignment is to get pictured, and to complete your profile, providing at least some base of information to those you would seek advice from. Your approach is beyond rude, and self-centered. You have to give to get.

    If you truly want change, you must be a couple of things: not lazy, and coachable. Let's see if you're the latter. Otherwise, you waste our time.

    My suspicion is that, across the board, you've been doing the bare minimum possible. A pill isn't going to fix your thought process, which is where most of your problem lies.

    Time to shape up, get in gear, and start doing more than the bare minimum, starting NOW.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    From my reading about addiction and experiencing a father who couldn't shake his love of excess...I have a feeling that there is a little voice inside of you telling you that you aren't worth it. Life would be miserable without that crutch. That you will never have the ability or ambition to deal with all that life COULD be for you. As Nelson Mandela has said "it is our light that most frightens us, not our darkness."

    Figuring out where that voice is coming from and what it is would be the first step.
    A pill or the perfect exercise program will never silence that voice if you believe what it is telling you. We are often our own worst saboteurs in life and unfortunately you have to wear your "dirty laundry" on the outside for everyone to see and judge.
    You need to be conscious about what you are putting into your body everyday and realize it is hard to have a healthy body without eating healthy food.
    Life is insanely beautiful and perfect and it is a shame to not fully participate because of worthless self doubt and shame.
    Maybe it is time to surprise Yourself and become the person you dreamed of being.
    There is absolutely nothing real stopping you. You have to be prepared to do A LOT of work and only that will sustain a life worth living.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
    That is very typically American/Western, wanting a quick fix via a pill. a shot, etc. I'm not one normally to be harsh, but I get very angry when people ask can I take a pill to get thin, make my dick bigger, etc. Ain't gonna happen.

    Wannabe...there is absolutely NO MAGIC BULLET for you to lose weight. You first need (as Chucky pointed out) to set goals for yourself. But even before that you have to have the DISCIPLINE to follow-through with what you set out to do. Even the ads you see on TV like Nutri-system require discipline - they needed the discipline to stick to their food plan and not cheat.

    Since we have no idea how overweght you are, no one here can advise you on much, except you need to be positive and get some discipline in your life. You also need to realize that it ain't gonna be easy. It's going to be a long road, with obstacles, setbacks, and diappointments...but the rewards, as you've set them, are worth it. I've been bodybuilding for 18 years, Chucky's being doing it longer than me, and I put a lot of effort and a lot of myself in that time. (And I still do.)

    If you are what is classified as "morbidly obese", where diet alone hasn't curbed your weight, then there are medical options that can help you get to a point where YOU can take over the process. Again, not knowing how overweight you are, I couldn't tell.

    Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of "The Abs Diet". If nothing else, it has a lot of useful information on obeseity, its health risks, and maybe that can get you started on a better lifestyle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    Early this morning, at 0120, I had a call from a client of mine. He was drunk, and more than anything, just wanted someone to talk to.

    He had been in a long, involved, discussion with his father regarding his place in life, and so on, and, not meeting with his father's approval, and with a pending wedding in a few weeks to a gorgeous girl (my client has been on "Survivor" and is drop dead good looking and in great shape, got it together, etc.), but, not meeting with his father's approval, yet, again, he buried himself in booze, and called "Uncle Chucky." Well, I told him, there had to come a day when he told his dad that he wouldn't always meet his expectations, and that he had to get his dad to accept that, and he had to allow himself to accept the fact he would probably never get his father's complete approval.

    When I won my first bodybuilding trophy, after being encouraged for years to be competitive, and after having worked my skinny, little, shaved, ass off, my dad told me how stupid it was, and how it would never make me any money. Go figure.

    I tell you this, because I sound like a broken record, but, here's where it starts: you have to come to like yourself, quit being lazy, and realize that you shape much, but, not all, of your destiny. Once you go there, and stop worrying about those that would be jealous, hateful, and so on, you give yourself permission to both make mistakes, and be successful, without the approval of others. Once you get honest about why YOU eat, while others stop eating...you'll have the battle mostly won. It's not hard, IF...you make a positive efforts towards change.

    Wallowing in self-indulgent, self-pity, self-analysis, will get you nowhere, fast, and, if you continue to do things in the same way, things will remain the same.

    No matter what your lot in life, there will always be others who, in their own fucked up lives, lash out, or are nasty, etc. You have to come to let them go in one ear and out the other. (I have a couple of guys with fixations on me, here, and it's entertaining, but, not something that I let bother me at a high level. They're mentally ill.)

    You need to take charge. Get your profile done. Get your pictures done. Engage yourself in a learning process about why you're fucked up, and how to fix it. These aren't things that anyone else can do for you.

    Number one thing...of all...is that while you need to lead your life for you, FIRST, you cannot be consumed by a negative I,I,I, me, me, me, thing, thinking you're a victim in some way.

    Now is the time for you to get off of your ass and get in motion, learning everything you can about diet, exercise, eating conditions, why you like or don't like yourself, and ditching the folks in your life that would hinder your goals. You MUST change, to affect change.
  • shoelessj

    Posts: 511

    Mar 06, 2008 7:30 PM GMT
    after hanging around this site fora while now, whenever i see a question like this, phrased like this, i just scroll down to see if chucky has weighed in [no pun intended] yet.

    i think i'm gonna copy chucky's comment and paste it onto my 'stickies' on the desktop and look to it whenever i start to fall off the diet and exercise wagon and onto Self-Pity Road.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    Dave, you need to think about your real motivation for wanting to losing weight. You have to want to do it for yourself in order to have a shot at success. Don't do it for friends or to get a bf. Do you feel unhealthy? Do you want to be able to do more activities but can't because of the excess weight? Unless you are properly motivated from within, it will be difficult to achieve results and keep them.

    Like anything worthwhile doing, it's going to take a lot of time and effort, and there is no magic pill as much as we might wish there were. Weight loss is simple: burn off more energy than you take in. Getting motivated, making it a priority, and sticking with an action plan is the challenging part. However, the results can be extremely rewarding, and you will feel much better about yourself. The rest (friends, a bf) will come once you're happy with yourself, because self confidence is an attractive quality.

    BTW, I admire the overweight men and women who go to the gym to work out. It takes a lot of courage to out in public and show off unflattering body parts, especially with attractive bodies all around.

    Good luck with your goals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 8:51 PM GMT

    Hey,Romeo. I date fat men and i'm sorta a stud.
    Don't change. I mean, yes, try to lose weight if that is what you want,
    but don't get down on yourself during the process. Chasers like me love every inch of you.
    And, if you remain bigger for the rest of your life...
    there is man out there who will love it too.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 06, 2008 8:55 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Hey,Romeo. I date fat men and i'm a stud.
    Don't change. I mean, yes, try to lose weight if that is what you want,
    but don't get down on yourself during the process. Chasers like me love every inch of you.


    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear, I don't think your post was really helpful. It's like telling a smoker not to quit smoking because there are people that love smokers. It's one thing if Dave was happy with his weight, but clearly he is not or he wouldn't have posted here. While we don't really know how overweight he is, in general excess weight is not a healthy condition to have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:18 PM GMT
    I was responding to his comment "noone wants to partner a meatball." Some guys do and just cause he's fat, don't mean he has to be a sex starved no hoper.His nights need not be spent alone either. icon_wink.gif Ofcourse, skinny minnies like you brainwash and tell them "lose weight or die...alone." LOL, this is why poor me has to chase them. What's more is...losing weight is a long arduous process and it is not guaranteed he'd be successful. I just though the kid needed a little sugar in his coffee. So sue me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Ofcourse, skinny minnies like you brainwash and tell them "lose weight or die...alone."

    I don't think that's really fair. I think my message, and that of others here, was more along the lines that he needs to focus on internal motivation if losing weight is truly important to him. Whether other people will like him if he's skinny or not is (and should be) irrelevant to why he wants to lose weight.

    Thanks for clarifying your post, however.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:46 PM GMT

    Cmon, beautiful, internal motivation ain't worth it's weight in dog spit. If it is you can tell the makers of Nichorette and Weightwatchers to all go home.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:52 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Cmon, beautiful, internal motivation ain't worth it's weight in dog spit. If it is you can tell the makers of Nichorette and Weightwatchers to all go home.


    I respect your opinion, and I have mine. Let's just agree to disagree on this one, okay? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 9:58 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Cmon, beautiful, internal motivation ain't worth it's weight in dog spit. If it is you can tell the makers of Nichorette and Weightwatchers to all go home.


    they are merely crutches in a quick fix society with no self belief
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 10:02 PM GMT
    Whilst I am not with Guilty on the Chubby chaser stay as you are I do agree with him, do it for you not anyone else if you want to.

    Doing it for yourself does require the internal motivation and commitment to do it. At the end of the day if its not a goal you have decided to go for for you then chances are you wont stick to it.

    If the original poster is serious about it he will come back no doubt and give us more info about what he actually intends to do ie diet and weights or diet, run and weights or just diet.

    Pills are not worth anything if you are that overweight. And start by making your commitment to you by reading through the numerous weight loss threads on here
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 10:04 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear, your points are valid; however, his original question was should he take a diet pill. Is taking a pill something to encourage? I don't think so. He obviously has some unhappiniess around his weight issues, and a pill is not a magic solution to make those issues disappear.

    Further, I'm not sure he's really thought about what those issues are. Is it because he doesn't have a BF? Do his friends make fun of him? Does he want to lose weight because his friends are skinny? I'm thinking those are the salient points of his OP that we should be responding to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2008 11:49 PM GMT

    LatinMuscleSF,
    Excuse me but the bulk of his post was about hating himself.
    And, hey, Bfg1, smokers and overeaters are addicts. They can't beat it with internal motivation alone. Products like WeightWatchers and Nichorette are not crutches: they are aids. Suggesting that he start losing weight without aids is like suggesting he hangglide with zero training.
    Another thing an overweight individual needs is a SUPPORT SYSTEM. I'd suggest Romeo surround himself with friends not self absorbed elitists who get their jollies inflicting "tough love" on the big man. LOL, real love works better.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 07, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    LatinMuscleSF,
    Excuse me but the bulk of his post was about hating himself.
    And, hey, Bfg1, smokers and overeaters are addicts. They can't beat it with internal motivation alone. Products like WeightWatchers and Nichorette are not crutches: they are aids. Suggesting that he start losing weight without aids is like suggesting he hangglide with zero training.
    Another thing an overweight individual needs is a SUPPORT SYSTEM. I'd suggest Romeo surround himself with friends not self absorbed elitists who get their jollies inflicting "tough love" on the big man. LOL, real love works better.


    I'm with ya Guilty icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 07, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    Or course I want to lose weight for myself. I don't like myself like this and how can you find and love a partner if you don't love yourself? But unfortunately my motivation is quite low and I don't want to do a diet. I don't think that they are effective at all. How can I get motivated? I thought a diet pill could be a good booster...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 07, 2008 1:45 PM GMT
    Hi, Well I have been taking a diet pill called redusyn the last few weeks, sorry but it has helped me alot, now I have a home trainer and I really love it, and it also helps me get back in shape, I will never be thin, I am a big guy, and thin would look terrible for me. I decided to take a diet pill just for starters, now I have lost weight, and I am now even working out. Sometimes people need a little helper to get them on the right track!!!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 07, 2008 8:11 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    LatinMuscleSF,
    Excuse me but the bulk of his post was about hating himself.
    And, hey, Bfg1, smokers and overeaters are addicts. They can't beat it with internal motivation alone. Products like WeightWatchers and Nichorette are not crutches: they are aids. Suggesting that he start losing weight without aids is like suggesting he hangglide with zero training.
    Another thing an overweight individual needs is a SUPPORT SYSTEM. I'd suggest Romeo surround himself with friends not self absorbed elitists who get their jollies inflicting "tough love" on the big man. LOL, real love works better.


    Im sorry on what slightest shred of evidence do you base that ludicrous notion? People lose weight without weightwatchers, people give up smoking without nicorette. Im not saying he doesnt learn nutrition and find a system that helps him eat healthy but having it pre packaged for you does little for re-educating yourself.

    If you are reffering to me as a self absorbed eliteist I suggest you go read my profile Mr you couldnt be further from the truth, its not tough love its first hand experience.

    What an overweight individual needs is honesty and truth not fabrication and people blowing smoke up their a***, its bad advice and focussing on the wrong information as you are bombarded with bad advice daily that kept me and keeps so many others from achieving in the first place

    And unless he has Prada Willi syndrome then he is not addicted to food, dont confuse addiction with habit its a totally different kettle of fish
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 07, 2008 8:15 PM GMT
    If you really want to do this, you can message me and I can help you.

    Unlike a lot of people on here, I was actually in your position. I was 250 pounds and now I am a much better 175. I think think that since I wasn't some genetic freak and that I had to work extremely hard that I have an insight most of these guys wont have.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 07, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
    hey I resent that! yet at the same time I am flattered that you assume I am some sort of genetic freak as it implies my hard work paid off!