Are you worth suffering for?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2010 7:16 AM GMT
    I read on a guys profile this quote from bob marley..." everyones gong to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for".

    It makes me wonder sometimes if relationships are worth it or not. It seems so many couples straight or gay are together after a while just as a matter of convenience or financial reasons.

    Do couples ever last long term because they are really happy together or just settle for the way things are? Whether they suffer or not something keeps them together......is it really love?
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    Oct 17, 2010 7:26 AM GMT
    I think it's a case of-- not suffering, but-- making sacrifices for the person you love.

    My boyfriend is in the Navy and that means he's away for large amounts of time-- but I've learned that it's worth it because I love him. I am willing to wait around for him when he's gone, because I cherish the time we have together.

    I've also learned that I'm independent enough, and enjoy my personal time enough, that when he's gone for months at a time, I am able to enjoy the company of myself, my friends, and my family, enough that it's quite manageable. Sometimes, of course, it's difficult, but that's how it has to be if I want to be with this guy.

    So no, I think suffering is the wrong word. You suffer if you're with the wrong person. But if you're okay with making a sacrifice for someone-- or you even find you're HAPPY to make a sacrifice for a person because you love them-- then I think that's when you know that you're very happy with them.
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    Oct 17, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    It's only suffering if the bad times outweigh the good. If that's the case then you'd have to seriously consider whether you're in a relationship or serving a sentence.
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    Oct 17, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    i wouldnt wanna make anyone suffer... Id rather help relieve their suffering... but conversely, yes, sometimes helping others out of their suffering... means taking some of that suffering... and suffering yourself... its called compassion...

    Yes I did go to Nepal and studied Buddhism there, forgive me if my philosophies seem Buddhist influenced...
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    Oct 17, 2010 2:00 PM GMT
    I have always admired Bob Marley's poetry, but Bob wasn't exactly a musical genius. A Jerry Garcia, he was not.

    Not everyone is out to get you, or wants to hurt you. We end up hurting ourselves more than others ever could.
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    Oct 17, 2010 2:06 PM GMT
    redbull saidAre you worth suffering for?
    To some, yes. To others, no.
  • xtratall

    Posts: 63

    Oct 17, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    another famous songwriter, alan thicke, wrote something that i think bears repeating - " you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... the facts of life. the facts of life."
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 17, 2010 2:11 PM GMT
    I would hope whoever I'm dating or in a relationship would feel I'm worth it.
    With my recent illness, I got a glimpse. My bf went out of his way (as in took a week off from work) to be with me. My house was spotless when I came home from the hospital. It was awesome.

    It is something you don't forget and if the tables were turned, you bet I'd knock myself out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2010 2:26 PM GMT
    guess i'm not worth suffering for.
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    Oct 17, 2010 3:21 PM GMT
    redbull said...bob marley..." everyones gong to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for"...


    I wonder if Bob Marley's mom knows how cynically her son feels about her.
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    Oct 17, 2010 6:00 PM GMT
    Not sure if this is a question anybody should want to answer for themselves.

    I'd never suffer for myself if given an option.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 17, 2010 6:19 PM GMT
    Suffering is a part of life, no matter how you try to ignore your own suffering. In a relationship there is bound to be suffering for the other guy, and vice versa, and you can share the suffering together.

    I agree with Bob Marley, you have to give up a lot and take on a lot of responsibility if you get into a relaionship. If I get into a relationship I take on that responsibility somewhat seriously, and I think it kinda freaks guys out sometimes. But a good relationship is well worth all the suffering and responsibility, and it's a good idea to try to find a guy worth the burden.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    i hope i am!
    but i prefer nobody to suffer at all icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 17, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like you're assuming that being in a relationship equates to more suffering than being single, by default? Not so sure about that. Or at least, it shouldn't be, right?
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    Oct 17, 2010 6:37 PM GMT
    Yeah, awkward q to answer for ones self. But the one guy I dated 3 yrs ago was well worth all the suffering/sacrifice. He'd tell me that he's not worth it, but I'd respectfully disagree. And since that relationship, nobody has come close to being worth the sacrifice.

    I think "settling for the way things are" and sacrifice are 2 different feelings. To sacrifice is to deal with hard times/emotions because you truly care for and love that person inside and out. "Settling" is unnecessary suffering if you are long term and unhappy.

  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 17, 2010 7:15 PM GMT
    Tazo995 saidSounds to me like you're assuming that being in a relationship equates to more suffering than being single, by default? Not so sure about that. Or at least, it shouldn't be, right?



    I can only speak for myself in that I feel a big level of responsibility towards the other guy when I'm in a relationship. Not only the daily stuff that a couple goes through but the mental and emotional side of things. I want him to be happy, fulfilled, and feel like he is loved and important to me.

    When I am single I don't really have to answer to anyone, I basically can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and with whoever I want. When it comes down to it I can be happy in a solitary lifestyle with not much socializing. But I can also be happy in a good relationship. To me the relationship is a lot of hard work, but the benefits will always outweigh the negatives as long as it's a good relationship.

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    Oct 17, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
    xtratall saidanother famous songwriter, alan thicke, wrote something that i think bears repeating - " you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... the facts of life. the facts of life."

    icon_lol.gif

    Oh, how lucky I am to suffer so much.
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    Oct 17, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    Bleed for me, baby.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Oct 18, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    In the beginning, infatuation colours everything- habits are endearing. We seek to memorise little things, little gestures, and make sacrifices.

    Eventually, these things become comfortable everyday. Who doesn't like to have someone to come home to? It makes me happy, why not stay with it? There is no reason to have burning feet- of course, you can never truly be satisfied.

    In the end, you are more comfortable and happier being with them then alone.
  • brycetippe

    Posts: 688

    Oct 18, 2010 3:15 AM GMT
    If someone has to suffer to be with me, I'd rather them not be with me; No matter how much I love them.icon_confused.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 18, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    Words have meaning

    Why define a relationship by such a negative word?
    A relationship is sharing .... yes, the good and the bad

    But to suffer for a relationship?
    In what way? What would be worth "suffering" for in a relationship?
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Oct 18, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    No.

    I'm not worth very much at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    I can understand everyone's opinion, they are all good! however I find it very disturbing when people assimilate suffering with love? in my last relationship there were many times when I felt emotionally drained because my bf back then was still dealing with a lot of unresolved issues from his past, and also the fact that he was unemployed; but now that I look back I can honestly say I did not feel I suffer one bit even thou I made a lot of sacrifices and had to put up with a lot of shit!

    I love to love, PERIOD! loving someone for me is a sure indication that I am finally beginning to love myself, simply because when you are capable of loving someone that emotion in itself is a sure sign of one's maturity. My most rewarding relationships have always being the ones where I've unselfishly sacrificed the most for someone. To me Love is much like the restless cycles of the Seasons, it is a constant ever changing pace that ultimately leads you to grow through its many drastic changes, and those of us who weather its many storms are usually the one who survive it to tell others about it's most precious reward: GROWTH.


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    [quote][cite] I wonder if Bob Marley's mom knows how cynically her son feels about her.[/quote]

    felt, being the key word, poor Bobby has been ganja fertilizer for some long years now...follow yo dawta home.....Keithicon_cool.gif