Realtionship Tips for my FIRST boyfriend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2010 6:05 AM GMT
    So recently, as in Saturday, I asked out this guy I have been seeing for about a month. Its official now and I want to make this the best for both of us.

    I just am a little sketchy on the details. Like when do we have sex? Should we wait until a certain number of months pass? Would it be lame to make our first time special, like rose petals on the bed and stuff? OR ADD ANY TYPE OF ADVICE YOU WOULD LIKE.

    Sorry for all the questions, I just do not have any mentors to go off of.
    Thanks and I appreciate it!
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    Oct 18, 2010 2:31 PM GMT
    hahahaha your joy ride will come down in flame pretty soon! icon_twisted.gif

    when you said you are seeing someone, it means you are actually having sex and not seeing with your own eyes. lol icon_twisted.gif

    And yes, you should wait before having sex. (that's probably the smartest advice that i have given)

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    Oct 18, 2010 2:36 PM GMT
    I would love to help you my friend but i newer had a BF so i cant help but i wish you all the best and i hope you 2 have a grat time together.
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    Oct 18, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidSo recently, as in Saturday, I asked out this guy I have been seeing for about a month. Its official now and I want to make this the best for both of us.

    I just am a little sketchy on the details. Like when do we have sex? Should we wait until a certain number of months pass? Would it be lame to make our first time special, like rose petals on the bed and stuff? OR ADD ANY TYPE OF ADVICE YOU WOULD LIKE.

    Sorry for all the questions, I just do not have any mentors to go off of.
    Thanks and I appreciate it!


    lol, if you both like rose petals and rolling around them, sure. It's about 2 individuals, mutual likes and dis-likes. So, you experiment. Or talk and find out what each considers romantic. There's no formula.

    -Doug

    PS if it's official I hope you guys have talked about monogamy and open relationships.
  • Karnage

    Posts: 704

    Oct 18, 2010 3:15 PM GMT
    frenchatheart saidhahahaha your joy ride will come down in flame pretty soon!


    Ok, don't listen to this guy. It's difficult to give relationship advice, because every one is different. I think the key thing is to talk to each other and listen to each other - communication is probably the most important part of any successful relationship.

    As far as sex goes, just make sure that you are both ready for that step, especially if it's your first time. It took me most of the way through 2 LTRs before I was ready. If you want your first time to be special, then make it that way! My ex was not at all romantic, so he would have hated the rose petals, but your boyfriend might love it. Do whatever will make the two of you happy!
  • Chunner

    Posts: 87

    Oct 18, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    Have sex when you feel he will respect you. Then don't over think it. You don't want to be too intense and scare someone away. Just make love the way you like and it will be special. Then go grab a great dinner come back and do it again.
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    Oct 18, 2010 4:07 PM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidSorry for all the questions, I just do not have any mentors to go off of.
    Thanks and I appreciate it!

    Your sparse profile gives us little to go on. You're 19 and in El Paso, and that's about it.

    Your first could be great, or it could be awful. But whatever it is, it will be a learning experience for you. Never forget that important fact.

    Even bad experiences can be good, if they teach you something for the future. But maybe this will be a great experience, not out of possibility.

    I've known a lot of gay couples who've been together for decades, who met at your age in college. I've also known guys who went through literally dozens of guys over the years before they found a "keeper" at middle age.

    What happens in your case is your business. Everything is possible, and I wish you the best. Just remember, that however this develops, it's all good, if you know how to make it good. Comprenez?
  • buymeasoda

    Posts: 93

    Oct 18, 2010 4:21 PM GMT


    communication is probably the most important part of any successful relationship.



    this is true my boy and i have been together for 5 years and its has not always been butt pugs and daises but we have made it and the key was communication... be open and honest and trust each other don;t rush into anything and just enjoy being in love.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Oct 18, 2010 4:42 PM GMT
    Don't move in with him right away. (Speaking on experience on that one. Oy vey!)
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    Oct 18, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    Tip number one... do not rely on relationship tips from others to drive your own.
    Tip number two... enjoy each other and go with what feels natural. That is why we mate.
    Tip number three... when you are no longer able to abide by tip number two. Stop
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 18, 2010 4:48 PM GMT
    I would say the largest consideration is communication. You mention sex... it should work when its right for both of you. If you don't communicate well, you have a problem from the get go.... and communication means listening and that can be challenging, especially when you have a spat.
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    Oct 18, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    Bens77 saidTip number one... do not rely on relationship tips from others to drive your own.
    Tip number two... enjoy each other and go with what feels natural. That is why we mate.
    Tip number three... when you are no longer able to abide by tip number two. Stop


    Bens77 has some great advice. And, like the others, I would say that communication is the key. And don't wait too long to talk about what's on your mind, either.
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    Oct 18, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    I would say a big fat NO on the rose petals for your first time. Just let it happen naturally when the time is right, and enjoy the experience.
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Oct 18, 2010 7:56 PM GMT
    Just be yourself. That is very important. None of us can tell you when you should have sex. You will know when the time is right. The most important thing I can tell you is make sure you practice safe sex. (Always) As far as timing and rose peddles, etc. Let things happen naturally. Don't try to be someone you’re not. Talk about it, he may be just as nervous as you are.
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    Oct 18, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidSo recently, as in Saturday, I asked out this guy I have been seeing for about a month. Its official now and I want to make this the best for both of us.

    I just am a little sketchy on the details. Like when do we have sex? Should we wait until a certain number of months pass? Would it be lame to make our first time special, like rose petals on the bed and stuff? OR ADD ANY TYPE OF ADVICE YOU WOULD LIKE.

    Sorry for all the questions, I just do not have any mentors to go off of.
    Thanks and I appreciate it!


    Go into this with complete humility.
    When two persons come together;
    abandoning their preconcieved notions or ideals of what is a relationship - and embark on a journey together with great humility to discover exactly what IS Love and Relationship.
    Discover the fact.
    This quest is Yours to discover - so don't ask us our ideals.
    "Because if I have an ideal; I will contantly be trying to conform the other into that ideal. Changing him. Molding him to my own liking. Forcing him to be something that he is not."
    Otherwise there will be conflict and relationship has become a matter of personal gain; meeting a personal ideal or goal that my particular mind has put together.

    But instead, find out Together.
    Together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    Relationships are all about communication. I talk, and he listens
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    Oct 18, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    don't listen to some of these bitter ass queens! a first relationship is very special and who knows, it could last a lifetime! I suggest you take things slowly, enjoy the simple things, don't be jealous, have some independence and learn to communicate!!

    good luck!
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    Oct 19, 2010 4:23 PM GMT
    Sex is like a can of Pringles.
    Once you pop, you just can't stop!
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    Oct 19, 2010 4:40 PM GMT
    The rules are....there are no universal rules. What works for one won't work for another couple.

    That said, here are a few of my rules:

    1) Don't take advice (especially unsolicited advice) on your current relationship from single people (unless they ruined a good one and can say why).

    2) Learn to trust your instincts and intuition.

    3) Treat him the way you want to be treated.

    4) As Karnage said, communication is important. Don't expect him to be able to read your mind. You have to tell him what you need and want or how you feel.

    5) You will know when the time is right for things, like making love, saying "I love you," etc. If you push things too fast, or if you give in to something even though you feel you shouldn't, you can ruin the relationship.

    6) Let go of fear - you'll destroy the relationship if you are afraid of him leaving you, cheating on you, etc.

    7) Learn to compromise but don't compromise your values.

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    Oct 19, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    You haven't had sex with your boyfriend yet? What if it sucks big time (no pun intended)? I would make sure that the sex is any good before getting into a relationship with someone. Although I guess its possible to develop good sex. Anyways, good luck on your endeavor!