In Love with my best friend

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    Oct 19, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    My best friend, also a gay man, and I are inseparable. We do so much together, have the same interests, and really talk honestly about everything. We enjoy each other's company and have a raging bromance. Trouble is I have fallen in love with him, but he isn't in love with me. Breaks my heart. Anyone ever have this happen? Did it ultimately lead to romance? We've already decided we're best friends for life and can't see ourselves without each other in our lives at some level.

    Sigh. Am I being stupid?icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 19, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    You're in lust, not love.
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    Oct 20, 2010 6:23 AM GMT
    I haven't had this happen.

    I'd for sure say that you're in love. Have you cried about the situation (no need to respond to that)? If so, you definitely are in love, and thus...

    You're not being stupid, because you can't really choose who you love.

    Have you been trying to meet other people? I'm wondering if it's MAYBE just a situation of you thinking that you have feelings for him, when really, he's the only one really around.
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    Oct 20, 2010 6:34 AM GMT
    This doesn't seem too out there. It makes sense that you would develop feelings for him.

    That happened to me a couple of years back. What I had to decide was whether what we had was worth losing over those feelings. Of course, I decided that the friendship was way too valuable to risk losing. It took a while for my heart to catch up with my head, though.

    What helped was that he started dating a really great guy who he loved and who I thought was fantastic. Seeing my friend so happy made those feelings that I had for him vanish into thin air. Unbelievably, I wasn't jealous at all. I was just happy for him.

    It also freed me up to put myself out there to meet guys as well.

    Hang in there! You have to do what feels right for you. What worked for me may not work for you. Only you know your circumstances. That being said, I know that this worked for me and we are still great friends.
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    Oct 20, 2010 7:04 AM GMT
    Just might be time to reconcile your feelings and accept the fact that your love will never be reciprocated. Once you find someone else who hits your heart the same way, then your feelings for your friend will change. They'll probably never go away, but they'll change.

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    Oct 20, 2010 8:50 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidJust might be time to reconcile your feelings and accept the fact that your love will never be reciprocated. Once you find someone else who hits your heart the same way, then your feelings for your friend will change. They'll probably never go away, but they'll change.



    You guys were all right! I think I'm over it. Feels good.