Gay Kids on Wrestling Teams

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    Oct 19, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    Just posted this Extras clip from my documentary. How many of you were on your high school wrestling team, and did you notice any kids picked on?

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    Oct 20, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    Man that's a loaded question. Our team was weird because we were athletic misfits of the school. Everybody made fun of us already for wrestling so we became a family. My teachers would even tell me in class that wrestling was soft core porn for perverts. We got teased as a unit so anytime someone caught wood during practice it was almost funny. It happens so much if you didn't you prob weren't trying you hardest. I know most of those guys weren't gay but you spend so much time with each other that it just did not matter. I remember two events that put me to ease while on the wrestling team.

    As a freshman I remember a senior on another team called me a meat hawk and a fag during weigh ins. I wasn't even looking at him, I didn't want to be completely nude in front of 100 strangers. My team captain came over used his body as blockade and told the Senior teasing the whole locker room was staring at his small equipment. It was nice to have someone defend you while gangs of people are questioning your sexuality.

    In my Junior year we had a new guy make varsity and hold his own for most of the season. We went to a 18 team tournament in a back wood county in Virginia which scared the shit out of all of us. This guy ended up wrestling a state qualifier early in the tournament but caught wood. The other teams coach made such a stink that he was pretty much teased off the mat and lost his match. On the way back our coach told us the next time someone calls anyone of us a homo or a fag during a wrestling match to just focus. He said you may not be able to win but I know all of you can run arm bars then figure four the head. And no one talks shit when your dick is pretty much in their mouth in an arena full of people.

    But our team was weird and I was lucky. My coach had a son he thought was gay and most of the guys on my wrestling team were already social outcasts so we had a lot of tolerance for each other. I did see a lot of teasing, bullying, harassment and even some people sent to the hospital because the were perceived as gay.
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    Oct 20, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    Wow Kevin, that was a great story on your team and sticking together. I like how your coaches handled it. I also put a clip in the documentary where I point blank ask a wrestling coach how he handles kids' fears of getting an erection while wrestling (or immediately afterward). He handled it very well, but there was a bit of denial in his response.

    Coaches always say that the kids who want to wrestle, but end up not going out for the team, say they don't want to because of the singlets. But it's more their awareness of what the singlets can reveal.
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    Oct 20, 2010 2:34 AM GMT
    We lost a lot of guys because of the singlets. On club teams we wore singlets with shorts. Our high school JV team did the same until guys they get comfortable. The funny thing about singlets though is its pretty close to being naked and you always run into an alpha male exhibitionist who convinces younger guys of followers real men do it. Or they realize shorts just get in their way.
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    Oct 20, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    I am buying both books and going to watch the documentary.
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    Oct 20, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    I was one of the people interviewed in "Growing Up Wrestling" and I can tell you Vic's dedication to removing some of the misconceptions and outright disdain of gays in wrestling has been terrific.

    I was a below average wrestler in HS, later got in shape and even coached a 9th grade team for a few years. Sex had nothing to do with it. It was the man to man achievement and personal growth that makes it a great sport.

    Hats of to Vic
  • josh_biguy

    Posts: 1

    Dec 13, 2010 10:54 PM GMT
    I really liked the sport and my best friend and another friend were both on the team. But the fear of poppin a bone wearing a singlet kept me away from it as well as swimming.
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    Dec 14, 2010 7:14 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif Wow, I wrestled competitively up to high school, and I can't say I ever was worried about getting an erection while on the mat. In the showers, sure (petrified, in fact)--hell, I was so horny at that point I was getting boners in calculus class. On the mat, though, I was channeling aggression and pairing down my focus--it was combat, and I still find my combat mindset to be about as far away from my erotic mindset as possible. Goes to show that we're all wired differently, I guess! :-)
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    Jun 24, 2013 1:39 AM GMT
    Thank you for sharing, and posting the truth,,,

    AnotherKevin saidMan that's a loaded question. Our team was weird because we were athletic misfits of the school. Everybody made fun of us already for wrestling so we became a family. My teachers would even tell me in class that wrestling was soft core porn for perverts. We got teased as a unit so anytime someone caught wood during practice it was almost funny. It happens so much if you didn't you prob weren't trying you hardest. I know most of those guys weren't gay but you spend so much time with each other that it just did not matter. I remember two events that put me to ease while on the wrestling team.

    As a freshman I remember a senior on another team called me a meat hawk and a fag during weigh ins. I wasn't even looking at him, I didn't want to be completely nude in front of 100 strangers. My team captain came over used his body as blockade and told the Senior teasing the whole locker room was staring at his small equipment. It was nice to have someone defend you while gangs of people are questioning your sexuality.

    In my Junior year we had a new guy make varsity and hold his own for most of the season. We went to a 18 team tournament in a back wood county in Virginia which scared the shit out of all of us. This guy ended up wrestling a state qualifier early in the tournament but caught wood. The other teams coach made such a stink that he was pretty much teased off the mat and lost his match. On the way back our coach told us the next time someone calls anyone of us a homo or a fag during a wrestling match to just focus. He said you may not be able to win but I know all of you can run arm bars then figure four the head. And no one talks shit when your dick is pretty much in their mouth in an arena full of people.

    But our team was weird and I was lucky. My coach had a son he thought was gay and most of the guys on my wrestling team were already social outcasts so we had a lot of tolerance for each other. I did see a lot of teasing, bullying, harassment and even some people sent to the hospital because the were perceived as gay.
  • AFGGuy

    Posts: 32

    Jul 22, 2013 10:25 AM GMT
    Were kids picked on? Yes, but not because any of them were gay. I could see it happening tho. I graduated high school in 2007.

    Then again, because I was afraid of issues arises from people knowing I was gay, I chose to be a asexual(no sexual desire) until I finished up college wresting.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Jul 22, 2013 10:49 AM GMT
    just downloaded the kindle editions of both and will visit the wrestlingfilm.com site soon. though i never was on a wrestling team in school, i did enjoy the physical aspect of the sport in gym class. a friend of mine actually suggested that i get back into it for my cancer recovery. he also suggested that i join a boxing gym, if for not other reason than to get the anger out over the disease. thoughts/suggestions from the group?

    and yes, i'm PISSED that the sport is being abandoned for the olympics. isn't it one of the oldest sports on the planet?