So...should I be "out" now... [Military]

  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 20, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    Opinions, part of this complete breakfast.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    No, I would not suggest coming out until it there is no chance of a repeal.
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Oct 20, 2010 4:40 PM GMT
    The point is that now you have a choice. So it's your choice. Have fun. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 20, 2010 4:42 PM GMT
    Yes. If ALL gay/bi/pan military people came out now, it would too costly for the military to reinstate DADT and discharge everyone.
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    Oct 20, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    I read on CNN if you DO come out to a recruiter now, and they overturn the verdict, it will be used against you.

    It just makes me laugh that the Department of Justice wants an emergency stay, at Obama's request.

    Ya can't make this shit up!
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Oct 20, 2010 4:51 PM GMT
    I don't feel it's anybody's business to know if I'm gay, bi or straight. It has no bearing on my ability to kick ass at my job. I wake up in the morning and piss excellence. That's all they need to know.
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    Oct 20, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    CarbGoggles saidI don't feel it's anybody's business to know if I'm gay, bi or straight. It has no bearing on my ability to kick ass at my job. I wake up in the morning and piss excellence. That's all they need to know.

    "piss excellence" ... icon_lol.gif ... I like that! ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 20, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    While Paul raises a good point, my thoughts are that it isn't yet "safe" to come out while serving. If you are worried about being discharged, best to wait while things are sorted.
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    Don't come out yet. But get your C.O. in a compromising position pronto. Blackmail does more for equality than the rule of law.
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    I keep harping on about my experiences with the lifting of the ban in the UK armed forces, but there are a lot of similarities between that and what is going on in the US at the moment. About 9 months prior to the lifting of the ban in the UK, an order was put out stating there were to be no more administrative discharges of gay people serving in the UK armed forces. There were no more after that. Everyone still kept a low profile, but the writing was on the wall.
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    Don't forget that if this injunction is successfully appealed, and it will be appealed, that those who decide to come out may not only be discharged and lose a career, legally; but they may also be required to refund benefits, training costs etc which may, to a career officer mount up into the hundreds of thousands of dollars.....wait until the waves have settled and the water temp is stabilized....hastiness is never wise.....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    It is great that, if this does stick around, gays in the military don't have to worry about getting discharged. But, just because you can be gay and serve in the military, does not mean that it gives you a valid reason to parade around telling everyone your sexual orientation. Talking about who you have sex with is unprofessional in the workplace (gay or straight), especially in the military.
  • rioriz

    Posts: 1056

    Oct 20, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    I would wait and see how this all plays out. I'd hate for you to come out and then it is reinstated and suffer some backlash. The time will come. Thank you for the work you do!!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • rioriz

    Posts: 1056

    Oct 20, 2010 5:42 PM GMT
    drjon2ko saidIt is great that, if this does stick around, gays in the military don't have to worry about getting discharged. But, just because you can be gay and serve in the military, does not mean that it gives you a valid reason to parade around telling everyone your sexual orientation. Talking about who you have sex with is unprofessional in the workplace (gay or straight), especially in the military.


    I agree with what you said to a point. With all the political correctness and sexual harrassment stuff going on, talk of sex in front of co-workers is innappropriate. But I think it is entirely possible to reveal ones sexuality without making it a harrassment issues!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    No as long as there is a chance of appeal I am not coming out. Plus, it is none of the mils business if I am gay or not.
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    Oct 20, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    I wonder if this will be the conversations once DADT is completely overturned:

    Dude 1: "OK guys, you probably knew it, I'm gay."

    Dude 2: "Man, I knew it!"

    Dude 3: "So am I"

    Dude 2: "No way man, really??? Shit."

    Dude 1: "It's really not that bad man, I'm not going to jump you or anything"

    Dude 2: "Ha-ha!"

    Dude 3: "Yeah, no big deal."

    Dude 2: "Cool man, I respect you. Hey, let's get some beers."

    later that night.........


    Dude 2 (drunk): "I remember once in high school, me and this guy sorta messed around. We were in the locker rooms after wrestling practice......"


    Ah...Happy Endings.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Oct 20, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    The answer would be NO! All we need is for a bunch of gay/lesbian men and women to come out then later get kicked out for coming clean...

    The Obama administration filed an emergency request Wednesday, October, 20th with the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to stop the military from allowing openly gay troops from serving.

    http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/20/dont.ask.dont.tell/
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    Oct 20, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    drjon2ko saidIt is great that, if this does stick around, gays in the military don't have to worry about getting discharged. But, just because you can be gay and serve in the military, does not mean that it gives you a valid reason to parade around telling everyone your sexual orientation. Talking about who you have sex with is unprofessional in the workplace (gay or straight), especially in the military.


    There's a difference between talking about what you do in the bedroom and who you share your life with. Why'd you even go there? I lived with my boyfriend, who was enlisted, and I'm possibly enlisting myself in a matter of weeks. Telling my unit about the awesome camping trip I had in Yosemite with my boyfriend shouldn't be grounds for discharge. Compare that to the fact that all the straights brag to each other and their CO's about the girls they've banged, and you can see that this has very little to do with military honor and everything to do with homophobia.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Oct 20, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidI wonder if this will be the conversations once DADT is completely overturned:

    Dude 1: "OK guys, you probably knew it, I'm gay."

    Dude 2: "Man, I knew it!"

    Dude 3: "So am I"

    Dude 2: "No way man, really??? Shit."

    Dude 1: "It's really not that bad man, I'm not going to jump you or anything"

    Dude 2: "Ha-ha!"

    Dude 3: "Yeah, no big deal."

    Dude 2: "Cool man, I respect you. Hey, let's get some beers."

    later that night.........


    Dude 2 (drunk): "I remember once in high school, me and this guy sorta messed around. We were in the locker rooms after wrestling practice......"


    Ah...Happy Endings.



    So today, my First Sergeant had a meeting with most of the senior leaders in the company to go over the schedule for the rest of the week and next and someone asked about the policy if it was ended. Of course the only other single guy in the room gave full detail on the status of DADT (makes ya wonder...) but no one made a crack against gays. Everyone was silent and okay about it. Then I realized that as we are senior leaders with over a dozen years of service each, that everyone probably already knows someone who is gay in the military at some point in their career, and that it was through that person that they became convinced that gay troops are okay.
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    Oct 20, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    drjon2ko saidIt is great that, if this does stick around, gays in the military don't have to worry about getting discharged. But, just because you can be gay and serve in the military, does not mean that it gives you a valid reason to parade around telling everyone your sexual orientation. Talking about who you have sex with is unprofessional in the workplace (gay or straight), especially in the military.


    Yes, absolutely…that board in the First-class lounge with the pictures of all the half naked wife’s and girlfriends; totally unprofessional, yet exemptible.
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    Oct 20, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    SanDiegoNewbie saidThe answer would be NO! All we need is for a bunch of gay/lesbian men and women to come out then later get kicked out for coming clean...

    The Obama administration filed an emergency request Wednesday, October, 20th with the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to stop the military from allowing openly gay troops from serving.

    http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/20/dont.ask.dont.tell/


    The filing is to overturn the Federal Judge's ruling which includes the DADT matter to some extent.

    I strongly suggest you and everyone READ the judge's text in its entirety.

    Contrary to the media sound bytes and headlines - it is NOT what everyone thinks.

    Whether it is the Obama White House or any (Republican or Democratic) White House, that sitting Administration would have absolutely no choice but to appeal it.

    This is a FEDERAL ruling which severely impacts significant programs that millions of everyday Americans require to live their lives.

    Sadly, this was a political maneuver to create volatile sensationalism that would focus a very specific group to change their mindset with negative results.

    Whether it is LGBT rights, marriage or military service - the goal is always the same: use these people to tear down something.

    READ THE COMPLETE TEXT OF THE RULING! You may be very surprised!
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    Oct 21, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYes. If ALL gay/bi/pan military people came out now, it would too costly for the military to reinstate DADT and discharge everyone.


    This is in only theory. If it is overturned they will enforce it.
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    Oct 21, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    B787 said
    READ THE COMPLETE TEXT OF THE RULING! You may be very surprised!
    By what?

    Here's the entire ruling:

    "Before O'SCANNLAIN, TROTT and W.FLETCHER, Circuit Judges

    This court has received appellants emergency motion to stay the district court's October 12, 2010 order pending appeal. The order is stayed temporarily in order to provide this court with an opportunity to consider fully the issues presented.
    Appellee may file an opposition to the motion for a stay pending appeal by October 25, 2010. To expedite consideration of the motion, no reply shall be filed.

    Filed October 20, 2010



    And what is the 'surprise'?
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    Oct 21, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    No.
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    Oct 21, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    I appoligize for not seeing your point before I posted that forum. I honestly didn't think about it at the time, I am nationa guard, so its not as if we see each other on a daily basis anyway. But I can understand your point, and I agree that that shouldnt be a problem. And it most cases it wouldnt be with who you were telling that to these days. I am happy that we are not protected, somewhat, agaist discharge for sexual orientation. But for some reason I imagine what other people are thinking (homophobe or homo) and it being a bunch of parading flamming homosexuals in the military and a giant orgy. It was great to hear that it was pushed down the chain of command and excepted without any major conflict with coolarmys unit. I haven't got any word from mine yet. They are infintry, I am sure I will hear some cracks about it. But you are right, most people in the military know of someone that is gay and is cool with it anyway. I have known a few, myself.