Well, the first thing you have to do is change that wallpaper! ...
Then learn something about nutrition and how your body handles food. This is gonna be a life style change, buckaroo, not just dieting.
You can look at the RealJock workout plans by clicking the tab above. But personally, I think they are way way way too complicated for a beginner. You need a fucking Excel spreadsheet to keep 'em straight! ....
However, RJ does have excellent exercise descriptions, photos, and videos to show you how to do many, many exercises. The links below will take you to some of these exercises. Let me tell you that there are all sorts of variations on exercises to work a muscle. I am just picking what I think are very basic exercises for starters.
Now I am not a professional trainer. But in my humble opinion, someone who hasnt been working out in a gym and is probably not real knowledgable about exercises and all the weights and machines ...and maybe a bit shy/uncomfortable/intimated by a gym, these are the basic exercises that I would recommend to get started:
for your arms:
Bicep curls: http://www.realjock.com/article/324/
Tricep extensions: http://www.realjock.com/article/631/
(a lot of times, guys kneel on a bench to do this)
for your chest: http://www.realjock.com/article/620/
for your abs: http://www.realjock.com/article/902/
for your legs: http://www.realjock.com/article/923/
(you can do this with one or two legs at a time) and http://www.realjock.com/article/936/
(the photos for this one give a better idea of what to do. The edge of anything will do...a stair is good.
Use weight that allow you to do 8 to 10 reps of each exercise. BE CAREFUL when you start. You can easy over work a muscle the first time in the gym and then be crippled for several days afterwards. It is far better to go easy and see how you feel afterwards. The muscles are going to pop out overnight anyway.