No Guts, No Glory

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2010 9:50 AM GMT
    I'll make this short as possible(some details not included).

    If you handled b.s. from your parents for over 10+ years(it includes all the dramas and traumas); They all support the abuse of parental power unconsciouly, and you have alot of really personal reasons why you can't leave the house(financial problems, them supporting ur brother instead of you etc.). What would you do?



    I think i know who will reply to this Post 1st(you know who you are icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2010 1:31 PM GMT
    You have to give more specifics to your situation if you want to get good responses.

  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Oct 23, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    make a plan, put it into action, get outta there
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Oct 23, 2010 5:51 PM GMT
    That's really way too little information to give a useful reply.

    What do you consider abuse of parental power? You say they support your brother instead of you. What does that mean? Are they willing to pay for his education and not yours? Did they set some conditions for you to receive their support, and he met them while you did not? Do they financially support each child until a certain age? Does he have some medical condition that prevents him from being able to support himself?

    You say you can't leave the house due to financial problems. Could you explain that? If you're in school, why are you unable to get a loan to cover the expenses of splitting a small apartment/dorm room with roommates? If you're working, why is it you don't earn enough to do the same? Do you have some large credit card debt you're working off, or are you unwilling to settle for something in your budget, or do you have some luxuries that you're mistakenly viewing as essentials?

    If you're an adult living at home, your parents get to place restrictions on you that they wouldn't if you were financially independent and self supporting. If you don't like what those restrictions are, your only real options are to a) talk to your parents and see if you can negotiate ones that you like better, or b) move out and pay your own way. Option A has a relatively low probability of working out the way you're hoping, so your decision is whether the perks of being at home (most often, a nicer place for what you're paying for it) outweigh the annoyance of those restrictions.
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    Oct 23, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    I flown the nest in 1976 then aged 23. Back then I considered this to be quite old, as most friends of my age left home at 17 or 18 to start University.
    The reason why I left home then was because I was sick and tired of Mum always asking me where I had been whenever I went out for the evening. I was of age, for heaven's sake, old enough to vote and to fight for the country had we ever gone to war.
    But what I didn't realise then was that this kind of motherly attitude was typically Italian, as both my parents are fully blood Italians.
    Since moving out, my attitude towards Mum gradually became much calmer, friendlier.
    But getting married was the panacea which removed the very last of any negative feelings towards my parents. I don't know whether this is scientifically or socially verified or not, but being single did aggravate my differences with Mum. Now Mum, Dad and myself are good friends.

    One regret though. Had I continued to live with my parents instead of moving out when I did, I wonder whether I would have backpacked the world at a much more extensive area than at present...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 24, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    MSUBioNerd saidThat's really way too little information to give a useful reply.

    What do you consider abuse of parental power? You say they support your brother instead of you. What does that mean? Are they willing to pay for his education and not yours? Did they set some conditions for you to receive their support, and he met them while you did not? Do they financially support each child until a certain age? Does he have some medical condition that prevents him from being able to support himself?

    You say you can't leave the house due to financial problems. Could you explain that? If you're in school, why are you unable to get a loan to cover the expenses of splitting a small apartment/dorm room with roommates? If you're working, why is it you don't earn enough to do the same? Do you have some large credit card debt you're working off, or are you unwilling to settle for something in your budget, or do you have some luxuries that you're mistakenly viewing as essentials?

    If you're an adult living at home, your parents get to place restrictions on you that they wouldn't if you were financially independent and self supporting. If you don't like what those restrictions are, your only real options are to a) talk to your parents and see if you can negotiate ones that you like better, or b) move out and pay your own way. Option A has a relatively low probability of working out the way you're hoping, so your decision is whether the perks of being at home (most often, a nicer place for what you're paying for it) outweigh the annoyance of those restrictions.


    Thanks for the tips and opinion icon_smile.gif. Putting Details would cause me to be all dramatic(which some people dont like), and i don't think anyone would care if i told them how painful it was living life with them. lol. anyway, ill stick to Plan A.