Husband, Partner, Lump in the bed...?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2007 6:21 PM GMT
    So I've been with my better half now for almost 8 years. We just moved to Connecticut and had to move up our intended legal ceremony/paperwork a bit because of insurance issues (many companies dropped their 'domestic partnership' benefits once civil unions became legal back in 2005). So, we had a very small ceremony last week and are now official.

    My question is, what do we call each other? I just don't know how I feel about calling him my husband. I've never been a big fan of "partner" because it sounds like a law firm. Thoughts from the crowd?
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    Jun 11, 2007 7:40 PM GMT
    I guess "this is my bitch" is out? :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2007 9:48 PM GMT
    Spouse is generic and vague enough in mixed company.
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    Jun 11, 2007 10:02 PM GMT
    I am in the same boat you are in gigaarm, I don't like the term partner, we are planning our ceremony next year and that has been something i have wondered about to. but for me i will use husband. but more like hubby! i guess alternate wasy to say it would be "meet the mister!" or companion, other half, best friend, mate, spouse, what ever you can get comftable with.
    this is what the thesaurus says
    *
    bedmate, benedict, bridegroom, buffalo, consort, cuckold, groom, head, helpmate, hubby, main man, man, mate, mister, monogamist, monogynist, old man, other half, polygamist, polygynist, spouse.
    *
    I hope this helps on some level. although i think when it becomes legal every where the term husband will be more welcomed.
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    Jun 12, 2007 8:15 AM GMT
    Partner.
  • alkl

    Posts: 1

    Jun 12, 2007 10:31 AM GMT
    Other half
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2007 12:59 PM GMT
    I prefer husband.
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    Jun 12, 2007 2:15 PM GMT
    Probably one of the funnier ones I've recently heard was "he who squeezes the toothpaste from the center." But I guess I'll test drive 'husband' out and see how it feels. Funny thing is, it was our straight friends who first recognized us as 'engaged' and then recognized us as 'married' so I imagine they wouldn't blink hearing 'husband' from either of us.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 12, 2007 2:54 PM GMT
    and remember to introduce your man as your 'current' husband. It'll keep him on his toes.

    Loz
  • trebor965

    Posts: 200

    Jun 12, 2007 3:43 PM GMT
    illegal husband? call him what ever you want it is your life and conratulations, i wish you the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2007 4:21 PM GMT
    Spouse. When you say husband it gives the impression that there should be a wife.

    Spouse says it all!

    Congrats! May you both have many many happy years with each other!

    Cheers! 8-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2007 9:40 AM GMT
    "LUMP IN THE BED" sounds like you been married for a long time. I like that one too.

    He's your Husband!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 13, 2007 11:03 PM GMT
    Yeah...if you went through a ceremony and it's legal? >>>> He's your husband
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2007 11:16 PM GMT
    LOVEER??
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    Jun 15, 2007 8:52 PM GMT
    I personaly don't like husband since we're all used of hearing husband and wife...and when you introduce your partner to someone

    "I would like you to meet my husband!"

    I know i'm not a woman but in my head it would feel like i'm the wife lol...

    So Lover or partner sounds good to me :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2007 8:55 PM GMT
    "Significant tormentor"

    Or "consort" because it kind of sounds science fiction-y to me....

    "He is Locutus, and I am his Queen!"

    Oh yeah, that'll bring the suitors running. No wonder I'm single.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 11:51 AM GMT
    Spouse, I agree w/the Duck.l..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 1:08 PM GMT
    Call him your "Love Shack Baby"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    freaky1 saidI guess "this is my bitch" is out? icon_smile.gif



    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA icon_lol.gif

    I guess it depends on whatever is right for you.... I would refer to someone as my husband before I ever called them a 'partner' pretty much for the same reasons as you. I think it sounds stupid. When someone introduces their insignificant other as their 'partner' I just about always squint my eyes and am tempted to say something like, "Are you 2 joining the Amazing Race or something?". I dunno, works for some - wouldn't work for me.

    Calling someone your 'Lover' sounds a bit dramatic, and dirty. Hahaha. Like you're having some sort of affair and can't keep your hands off of each other.
    "This is Dave, he's my lover... because that's what we do. We love. All day. Every day. In fact, I'll be 'loving' him under the table during dinner." icon_lol.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 05, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    ball and chain
  • underbearboy

    Posts: 74

    May 05, 2009 1:47 PM GMT
    I would call him "husband". I think we need to redefine the terminolgy so that folks - straight or gay - don't assume there needs to be a 'wife' in all marriages.

    Much as younger gay folks use and are comfortable with the word 'queer' now to describe lgbt people in shorthand, and as well as older gay folks who embraced the word 'gay' as a self-definition instead of the sterile word 'homosexual'. That's why I like husband... (now I wish I had one... and that NJ would get its act together and pass full marriage equality so that my brother and his partner of 36years could tie the knot that way specifically, instead of having a second-class civil union).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 1:51 PM GMT
    hubby? I do think husband is the correct term.... though I've heard partner quite a bit. Guess it depends on what you feel comfy with sayin
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    May 05, 2009 2:05 PM GMT
    Partner doesn't work for me - - - - it sounds too much like, "Howdy" and I'm not country. Husband doesn't seem right either - - - unless we can both be the husband. I'd rather use his name - - - even in a social or business setting. Don't worry, they'll all know EXACTLY what your situation is. Women especially - make it a POINT of knowing who is "available" and who is not. They're constantly after what they can get out of us. (Whoops, another time, another thread!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 2:06 PM GMT
    I have been married for almost 4years (i think) and been with him for 12+years. I went quickly to husband since it a. is true and b. shocks some people. He on the other hand has had difficulty using husband for a bit and was prone to use partner.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    Depends on the situation & community:

    "Partner" is most common here in South Florida in casual conversation within both the gay & straight communities, where our unions have no legal status. It's also how we identify thousands of gay donors in the database of a non-profit agency for which I volunteer, and lesbian couples, too.

    "Hubby" is what I sometimes write online, but rarely speak it.

    "Husband" is what we often use in private gay gatherings & functions, as do many of the other gay couples for themselves.

    I can't recall hearing anyone use the terms "spouse" or "wife." Spouse is a non-gender term you find on forms & documents, not something very common in speech when referring to your husband, though I suppose that could change with increasing gay marriages & unions.

    We find husband more personal than spouse, and see no problem that we are both called husband, despite the traditional husband-wife pairing. After all, 2 brothers are both called brother, no need for one to be known as sister. LOL!