You ever like someone so much you stepped outta character?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 24, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    You ever like someone so much you stepped outta character?

    Like you did and/or said things that you normally would never have done but in hindsight were embarrassing or made you say "what was I thinking?"

    You ever been worried that the guy will tell other people like mutual friends and it'll make you look bad?

    EXAMPLES:

    - Sending long texts and/or emails to him
    - calling or texting him a lot
    - justifying his suspect behavior/actions
    - agreeing to do things sexually that you were uncomfortable with
    - allowed him to talk to you in the wrong way
    - losing your cool, arguments
    - getting into physical fights

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    Oct 25, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    Actually.. yeah. I have. My entire last relationship seems out of character when I look back on it. So much so, I wonder if it ultimately affected the outcome of the relationship. But I try not to get hung up on it.. I spent a long time being hung up on that guy, which is what changed me to begin with. You just have to take that embarrassment, the shame, plus whatever else comes out of it.. and learn from it.

    I did stuff like.. excessive texting. But because he would never answer his phone when I called. He would give me stupid excuses for blowing me off, or not contacting me, and I would accept the excuse every time. I pretty much just let him walk all over me. Around most people, I had to pretend to not be his boyfriend. And we could never be affectionate in public. Even something simple like holding hands, or sitting too close together. (..gimme a break). All the things he did are things that would have caused me to walk away from anyone else, without a second thought. But for some reason I was entirely blind to it. Like every night I would be a depressed mess, just to fall asleep, and wake up thinking I could try again.

    We didn't have any mutual friends, really.. so I never worried about him saying too much to someone. I guess if we HAD had mutual friends there would have been a bigger potential for embarrassment.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    Indy404 saidYou ever like someone so much you stepped outta character?

    Like you did and/or said things that you normally would never have done but in hindsight were embarrassing or made you say "what was I thinking?"

    You ever been worried that the guy will tell other people like mutual friends and it'll make you look bad?

    EXAMPLES:

    - Sending long texts and/or emails to him Nope
    - calling or texting him a lot Yup
    - justifying his suspect behavior/actions Nope
    - agreeing to do things sexually that you were uncomfortable with No. I'm always the more perverted one. icon_sad.gif
    - allowed him to talk to you in the wrong way Yup
    - losing your cool, arguments Very rarely.
    - getting into physical fights Twice in self defense. One time I got away, the other time I got knocked out was oddly grateful I was unconscious for most of what happened after.

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    Oct 25, 2010 1:08 AM GMT
    if you cant be completely natural and real around someone ... then its the wrong person.

    You should never have to put on a front around a guy, regardless of how much you like him.

    if you alter your personality or start monitoring your actions ... your creating a character seperate from yourself to appear more appealing to the other party

    should you txt, call, and msg 100 times a day ... def not.

    self control is a different issue.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:42 AM GMT
    Yep, I'm human. It happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    icon_redface.gif
    eh, oh well...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    Drank a lot and pretended I liked the Ramones. Stupid college stupidity.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Oct 25, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidDrank a lot and pretended I liked the Ramones. Stupid college stupidity.


    I have a few choice words running through my head right now.

    /my lawn could use you to get off it.

    Edit: Oh yes, I pretended to be straight. After 3 years with her, I ended it.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Oct 25, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    The next time you feel like you're second guessing yourself because of another guy, my advice is to take a giant step backwards and reconsider. Some flexibility and compromise are good, but if the compromises you're making mean sacrificing your core values, or if you're left with a vaguely negative feeling deep down inside, you're better off not going down that road.
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    Oct 25, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    I usually jsut begin to text or msg alot.... and I used to get a bit possessive, but now I learned to put my jealousy aside
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    Oct 25, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    DCEric said
    Ciarsolo saidDrank a lot and pretended I liked the Ramones. Stupid college stupidity.


    I have a few choice words running through my head right now.

    /my lawn could use you to get off it.

    Edit: Oh yes, I pretended to be straight. After 3 years with her, I ended it.


    Rockaway Beach and Rock and Roll High School managed to hang on my ipod somehow though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    Ugh I seem to change myself with every guy I meet. I feel myself changing to reflect the type of guy that he is (probably with the hope that he'll like me more) rather than just being myself and letting him decide whether he wants to be with me or not based on who I actually am.

    If I wanted to open the psychological floodgates I'd probably say it's related to being uncomfortable or insecure with myself, but since I'm not paying $200 to analyse me, I won't go there.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Oct 25, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    yeah and i will never do that again. i am who i am and if they cant respect that then it is worth it to me. i tried to be what he wanted and got away form me. now that i am back i will find a great guy and be happy.
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    Oct 25, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    oh yeah I was worried more about him then me so lending him money I didnt have. But now that I am getting back to the real me I will find someone who will make me happy.
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    Oct 25, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    Nope. I've never stepped out of character because I liked someone. If anything I think that's just silly and pretty deceiving. If you are flattered by fake then kudos I say.

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    Oct 25, 2010 5:55 AM GMT
    I think we all do, all the time... we pretend to be/like things we really don't in hopes of winning somebody over. I mean, I don't do it so much anymore, but I did at some point.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Oct 25, 2010 9:44 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    DCEric said
    Ciarsolo saidDrank a lot and pretended I liked the Ramones. Stupid college stupidity.


    I have a few choice words running through my head right now.

    /my lawn could use you to get off it.

    Edit: Oh yes, I pretended to be straight. After 3 years with her, I ended it.


    Rockaway Beach and Rock and Roll High School managed to hang on my ipod somehow though.


    Your reasonable excuse is accepted.