Throw In a Joke

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 24, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    Keep it in good taste guys, ya right...icon_wink.gif

    Guy walks into a bar orders two drinks, drinks one and pours one on the front of his shirt.
    This goes on for about an hour and the guy is obviously getting shit faced. He orders again and:

    Bartender: listen buddy for the last hour you've been ordering two drinks, drinking one and pouring the other one on your shirt, now you're too drunk to serve so you're cutoff and will have to leave.

    Drunk: Lisshen paal..give (hiccup) me anosher drink or (hiccup) I'll Kick your fukken ash.

    at that moment a drunk mouse stuck his head out of the drunk's shirt pocket and said: And that goesh fer yer (hiccup) fukken cat too.



    Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Oct 25, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    vetteset saidKeep it in good taste guys, ya right...
    Well that's one way to kill the thread. icon_razz.gif
  • andyb91

    Posts: 173

    Oct 25, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

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    Oct 25, 2010 12:19 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    vetteset saidKeep it in good taste guys, ya right...
    Well that's one way to kill the thread. icon_razz.gif


    the wink Paulie, the wink......icon_rolleyes.gif..............Keithicon_cool.gif
  • westguy79

    Posts: 175

    Oct 25, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    Q: How are a walrus and tupperware alike?



    A: They both like a tight seal.

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    Oct 25, 2010 12:39 AM GMT
    good 'un.

    Two ideally matched Irish Gay fellas.

    Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald......................icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    vetteset said
    paulflexes said
    vetteset saidKeep it in good taste guys, ya right...
    Well that's one way to kill the thread. icon_razz.gif


    the wink Paulie, the wink......icon_rolleyes.gif..............Keithicon_cool.gif
    See, you're already arguing.
    Maybe we should just take this out back and exchange blows. icon_wink.gif
  • Rush_

    Posts: 402

    Oct 25, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    So, a priest, a rabbi and Brigham Young are on a fishing trip. They're yakking away and playfully one-upping each other, because that's what they do.

    Rabbi: I've got three kids, one more and I have a basketball team.

    Priest: I've got eight kids, one more and I have a baseball team.

    Brigham Young starts laughing his ass off after hearing the other two, falls off the fuckin boat and eventually gets back on, still laughing.

    Rabbi and Priest: what the hell, bro?

    Brigham Young: Dude, I got all ya'll bitches beat: I've got 17 wives, one more and I have a fuckin golf couse!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    vetteset said
    paulflexes said
    vetteset saidKeep it in good taste guys, ya right...
    Well that's one way to kill the thread. icon_razz.gif


    the wink Paulie, the wink......icon_rolleyes.gif..............Keithicon_cool.gif
    See, you're already arguing.
    Maybe we should just take this out back and exchange blows. icon_wink.gif


    Paulie, Paulie, Paulie,,,,,,you DON"T do BLOWS, remember?????icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    vetteset said
    paulflexes said
    vetteset said
    paulflexes said
    vetteset saidKeep it in good taste guys, ya right...
    Well that's one way to kill the thread. icon_razz.gif


    the wink Paulie, the wink......icon_rolleyes.gif..............Keithicon_cool.gif
    See, you're already arguing.
    Maybe we should just take this out back and exchange blows. icon_wink.gif


    Paulie, Paulie, Paulie,,,,,,you DON"T do BLOWS, remember?????icon_lol.gif


    ??? BLOWS are what Paulie DOES ... icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 1:56 AM GMT
    vetteset saidPaulie, Paulie, Paulie,,,,,,you DON"T do BLOWS, remember?????icon_lol.gif
    Well you said post a joke, remember? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    vetteset saidPaulie, Paulie, Paulie,,,,,,you DON"T do BLOWS, remember?????icon_lol.gif
    Well you said post a joke, remember? icon_razz.gif


    well then tell a fukken joke already.......and make it a real paulie special...icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 25, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    A penguin driving in the desert coasts his car into the mechanic shop for a repair
    Being in the dessert and he IS a penguin, he goes across the street to get an ice cream cone.
    As he is waddling back to the shop the mechanic looks from under his hood and says "Buddy looks like you blew a seal". Penguin says "I swear to god it was just an ice cream cone!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    digdashdive saidA penguin driving in the desert coasts his car into the mechanic shop for a repair
    Being in the dessert and he IS a penguin, he goes across the street to get an ice cream cone.
    As he is waddling back to the shop the mechanic looks from under his hood and says "Buddy looks like you blew a seal". Penguin says "I swear to god it was just an ice cream cone!"


    lmgfao..icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Oct 25, 2010 5:00 AM GMT
    andyb91 saidThey call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.



    amazing!
  • a_diddy

    Posts: 3

    Oct 25, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    what is the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love?

    Wayne Gretzky showers after 3 periods

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    Oct 25, 2010 5:27 AM GMT


    Q: Why are fish so smart?

    (Dramatic Pause For Effect........)
    .............
    ..............


    A: Because they live in schools!

    *Cues laughter button and Applause button*




  • iowaguy000

    Posts: 62

    Oct 25, 2010 5:54 AM GMT
    So this woman takes a seat at the bar next to a hot guy, leans over, and in a sultry sexy voice, says "For two hundred dollars, I'll do anything you want."

    "ANYTHING?" The guy gets out his wallet and starts pulling out 20's and lays them on the bar. "There. Paint my house!"
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Oct 25, 2010 6:05 AM GMT
    Awesomepossum said

    Q: Why are fish so smart?

    (Dramatic Pause For Effect........)
    .............
    ..............


    A: Because they live in schools!

    *Cues laughter button and Applause button*




    Q: What rhymes with "What have we here? FAAAIIILLL!"

    A:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 6:06 AM GMT


    A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar......
    .........
    ..........

    Ouch!

    icon_lol.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 6:07 AM GMT
    Q. What do you call a anorexic with syphilis?







    A. A quater pounder with cheeseicon_razz.gif
  • timmytwister

    Posts: 169

    Oct 25, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    In line with the last poster:
    How many anorexics will fit into a shower?

    No one knows. They keep slipping down the drain!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2010 8:35 AM GMT
    q:what do you call a blond hooker?
    a: Humpme Dumpme


    Q What do you call an Eskimo Hooker:
    A: Snow Blower

    Q What do you call it when a bus full of lawyers goes over a cliff with two empty seats?
    A. A crying shame

    Q. What do you have with ten politicians buried up to their head in sand?
    A. Not enough sand.

    Did you hear that experimental labs are getting rid of their lab rats and using lawyers instead? They found out there are some things rats just won't do.
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Oct 25, 2010 8:45 AM GMT
    Two fish in a tank, one says to the other, "I'll drive, you shoot".
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    Oct 25, 2010 8:48 AM GMT
    Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

    First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

    Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

    The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."