Do I Have The Right To Feel Angry Here?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2010 4:43 PM GMT
    So I met this guy on an internet site...

    We chat for days, almost every day, we have tons in common, similar interests, hobbies, career, everything, not only that but he lives only a few miles away from me... so I figure we would be great friends

    I met him from a faceless profile, and for months I talked but never knew what he looked like, so I figured... Id just meet him in person someday and then see what he looks like, maybe being too trusting, but all the similarities between us lulled me into a sense of security

    Then a month or so later, he begins to talk very seriously, saying he has feelings for me, even half-joking about me marrying him and moving away with him (still I have not met him, seen him or anything, only called him and heard his voice)

    I tell him,... "I dont know about dating for sure untill we meet," '.... so he says,.... "ok, my feelings can move on,"... so he will date other people. I say fair enough, friends are more important to me anyway than dating, and considering we have so much in common, it would be great being friends with him.

    A few weeks later he is drunk while we're talking on cam, (at least, I have cam and he can see me.. but he doesnt have cam, so I still cant see him) .... he keeps asking me to take my shirt off... I find that a bit uncomfortable, as we are not really dating,, he is faceless to me... and we are supposed to just be friends

    He gets very adamant about me taking my shirt off, I keep refusing, and he gets irritated, saying he doesnt usually get turned down... which kinda makes me feel very... "attacked" in a way, as if this I'm now obligated to him or something

    I send him an e-mail saying if he ... "would please stop flirting with me, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and bad"...

    He responds saying ...."I think you're too complex for me.. I cant be myself around you, it makes you feel bad if I am myself, we had best go our separate ways"

    Now I feel utterly betrayed.... I figure if you can just be friends you can put the flirting aside? right? I mean be yourself is one thing, but there is a point where you adapt to someone for their comfort right??

    So now I feel incredibly jaded and angry, feel like Ive been lied to by a "fake friend" I never met... I told him this, he responded he considers me his friend and thats why he wants the distance so he doesnt hurt me

    But its exactly the taking a distance, the "breaking up" of my friendship that hurts me...

    I feel angry, I feel he is being very uncaring and inconsiderate of me, and much too pushy, and if he cant make me feel comfortable being himself, he just pulls away, that to me doesnt seem like what a friend would do, right?

    Sigh, ... well I shared, kind of to get it off my chest... if you wanna comment, feel free
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2010 4:56 PM GMT
    Personally, I wouldn't cam with someone who has no pics unless they're paying me (not a joke).
    Sounds like you got sucked into someone's spank bank.
    If I were in your position (again, been there before), I would/did stop responding to that person.
    You already have other friends. Don't let a stranger bring you down. *hugs* icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 26, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    I don't mind chatting with faceless profiles...my pics are in my privates and I usually unlock after chatting a couple times but he must unlock too if he has private face pics...And I wouldn't cam unless it was a 2-way thing...

    In these cases, I have VERY low expectations...Real Jockers here in the forums all call me "negative" but to me this is just the internet...a place to vent and randomly post thoughts like in this very thread...Even guys with hundreds of face pics are still just strangers and for all I know, figments of someone's imagination since we all tend to be someone we're not on the internet.

    I don't take a guy SERIOUSLY until we meet in person. Until then he is just pixels on a screen or a voice on a phone...




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    Oct 26, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    Ok cool, you're right, this guy does sound like a total fake... I know where he goes to school, so Im gonna go there (I might enroll in the same college as him) so Ill find out there too
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    Oct 26, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    Woaw, he bumped me from Skype and MSN, and I think he blocked his e-mail.. but hes still on every adam4adam and manhunt and gaydar site Ive seen here....

    I think he must be the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever met.... this is unbelievable
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    Oct 26, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    Indy404 saidI don't take a guy SERIOUSLY until we meet in person. Until then he is just pixels on a screen or a voice on a phone...
    x2
    ...with one exception: If there are others who have met the person in real life and can vouch for that person's authenticity.

    Prime example: I took a huge leap of faith meeting Amar, and he did the same with me. Turns out he's not only authentic, but a VERY good person to know...even though he doesn't like my favorite club on South Beach. But of course, we went there during a tropical storm. icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 26, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    amar_m saidWoaw, he bumped me from Skype and MSN, and I think he blocked his e-mail.. but hes still on every adam4adam and manhunt and gaydar site Ive seen here....

    I think he must be the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever met.... this is unbelievable
    Typical loser trying to get a nut by e-scamming people into camming with him.
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    Oct 26, 2010 6:08 PM GMT
    Indy404 saidI don't mind chatting with faceless profiles...my pics are in my privates and I usually unlock after chatting a couple times but he must unlock too if he has private face pics...And I wouldn't cam unless it was a 2-way thing...

    In these cases, I have VERY low expectations...Real Jockers here in the forums all call me "negative" but to me this is just the internet...a place to vent and randomly post thoughts like in this very thread...Even guys with hundreds of face pics are still just strangers and for all I know, figments of someone's imagination since we all tend to be someone we're not on the internet.

    I don't take a guy SERIOUSLY until we meet in person. Until then he is just pixels on a screen or a voice on a phone...

    I agree with INDY but I also still wouldn't take the guy seriously until after a few meetings whether romantically or friendship-wise.

    Amar, it's interesting to note that you said you wanted to be on friendly terms and nothing further with this guy and yet you are in an emotional upheaval over his decision to terminate you. You even admitted to stalk him at his school!!

    So spill, there's much more to the story. Are YOU the one that's really in love with HIM and not the other way around??
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    Oct 26, 2010 8:20 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Indy404 saidI don't take a guy SERIOUSLY until we meet in person. Until then he is just pixels on a screen or a voice on a phone...
    x2
    ...with one exception: If there are others who have met the person in real life and can vouch for that person's authenticity.

    Prime example: I took a huge leap of faith meeting Amar, and he did the same with me. Turns out he's not only authentic, but a VERY good person to know...even though he doesn't like my favorite club on South Beach. But of course, we went there during a tropical storm. icon_razz.gif


    Huh? Why so? I called you when in miami icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 26, 2010 8:23 PM GMT
    bigeasydude said
    Indy404 saidI don't mind chatting with faceless profiles...my pics are in my privates and I usually unlock after chatting a couple times but he must unlock too if he has private face pics...And I wouldn't cam unless it was a 2-way thing...

    In these cases, I have VERY low expectations...Real Jockers here in the forums all call me "negative" but to me this is just the internet...a place to vent and randomly post thoughts like in this very thread...Even guys with hundreds of face pics are still just strangers and for all I know, figments of someone's imagination since we all tend to be someone we're not on the internet.

    I don't take a guy SERIOUSLY until we meet in person. Until then he is just pixels on a screen or a voice on a phone...

    I agree with INDY but I also still wouldn't take the guy seriously until after a few meetings whether romantically or friendship-wise.

    Amar, it's interesting to note that you said you wanted to be on friendly terms and nothing further with this guy and yet you are in an emotional upheaval over his decision to terminate you. You even admitted to stalk him at his school!!

    So spill, there's much more to the story. Are YOU the one that's really in love with HIM and not the other way around??


    Lol, i am that way even with my friends mate... I dont need to be in love with the person to be emotionally attached to someone... I act like this with my family as well...

    And yeah, we started out as chat buddies.. I think somewhere along the line, I really DID think he was a true friend... a true friend is someone I will die for and always look out for, and keep in mind every day, and pray for yadda yadda yadda

    ... I see now THAT was dead wrong... I should not have crossed the emotional "friend" line.. that to me, is even stronger than "boyfriend" line... it' like "brother" to me

    And hell yeah, I was gonna go to the same school as him already... we're both in med school, and I there was already the option of transferring to his... I might still, but not for him of course, just because its a better med school than my other options =)

    Hmmm, now that I mention it, kinda puzzling he seems to have forgotten that all of a sudden
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    Oct 26, 2010 11:46 PM GMT
    amar_m saidHuh? Why so? I called you when in miami icon_razz.gif
    I know, but either of us still could have been a fake.
    There was one person a few years ago I'd talked to on the phone several times. Then when it came time to meet, his last phone call was him saying he got lost and would be here in a few minutes...never heard from again him after that.

    Of course, that was in Arkansas...go figure. icon_lol.gif