I'm scared and alone, did I contract HIV?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    Hi all, I'm new here. I'm a 22 year old college student in good health. Three weeks and one day ago I hooked up with someone whom I had found out later was HIV+. Since then I've been having an emotional break down. I topped him with a condom, made out,he preformed oral on me, I came in his mouth. He did get off by masterbating but I didn't touch his jizz (as far as I know.) I went to the ER and started taking PEP at 34 hours after exposure. I got him to pay the $500 dollars for a 2 week prescription. I don't have health insurance. I couldn't afford to re-up the second prescription and he changed his phone # so I got no help from him. About a week into PEP I noticed I was constipated and had small, maybe pea-sized, painless lymph nodes on the back of my neck. Since then my small lymphs are still there, I also found slightly bigger ones on the side of my neck and inside my collar bone cavity. I woke up a little sweaty this morning, so I'm convinced I have night sweats now, I did sleep in jeans though. My chest is a little itchy, too.

    I know I used a condom, however, he supplied it. It didn't break or slip off during sex. I'm scared I have HIV. I didn't taste any blood while we were kissing, but I'm scared I contracted it that way (trust me, I know the chances are smalll)

    According to him he has never missed a dose and has a low viral load, to me this means absolutely nothing.

    I'm scared to get tested, I've missed the free clinic 2ce now, it only opens in my town once a week.

    Please help. Have any of you had an HIV scare like this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2010 6:00 PM GMT
    Grab your hand. Bend your elbow and smack yourself upside the head. You'll die of fear before anything else gets a chance to have a go at you.

    You took precautions, so your chances of having it are pretty low. I think your little shotgun approach after killed any phantom of a chance of anything.

    But hey, so long as you're throwing everything out in a blind panic, I'll take anything of value.
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    Oct 27, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    Thanks for replying! See, I'm worried that I'm just... worried, albeit a bit redundant. But with the lymphs I just feel like there is a problem. My friends won't talk to me about it, I don't know if they're scared I have it or just think I'm insane... It is a bit of an uncomfortable situation.

    I don't have the best dental health, more than a few cavities and I may have had a sore on my gums. I feel like I'll be that one in a million that are lucky enough to get it this way.

    The HIV hotlines are no help, they can't talk about anything medical with me. I found this forum hoping that there are others with the HIV Hypochondriasis that had similar experiences.

    I really appreciate your help, I hope you're right!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 27, 2010 8:50 PM GMT
    you are much more likely to die in a car crash. Get things in perspective

    Listen, you are overreacting. You are safer having sex with a pos guy who know´s he´s pos and has it under control than with a guy who doesn´t know. He was generous paying the inital PEP. I´m not surprised he changed his phone numbe to stop you stalking him. He has a real health issue to deal with. He doesn´t need your imaginary ones too.

    Go to the clinic next time it´s in town. Stop playing around. Deal with the reality of the situation and not your fantasy projections.
  • tongun18

    Posts: 593

    Oct 27, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    Why haven't you been tested yet? I know its a scary thing but when it comes to things of this nature knowing is always better than not knowing. If you get tested and you're negative you have nothing to worry about. If you get tested and you're positive at least you'll have caught it early and will have a jump start on managing the disease.

    If everything you said is accurate, it's unlikely that you've contracted the virus. Even in the unlikely event that you did contract it, it's really unlikely that you would have developed symptoms so quickly. At the earliest, symptoms occur 2 weeks after exposure.

    Also, constipation is not a symptom of HIV/AIDS, diarrhea is.

    Your itchy chest may indicate you didn't use fabric softener when you washed your shirt but it doesn't indicate HIV infection.

    Sleep without the jeans and see if you still sweat. Even if you do, it doesn't mean you have HIV.

    Slightly swollen lymphs could indicate any number of things.

    All of the symptoms may very well be a physiological response to your extreme emotional state. Do you understand that? Your response to the situation could be inducing the symptoms.

    Take a breath, calm down and get tested ASAP.
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    Oct 28, 2010 12:15 PM GMT
    I thought a test wouldn't show a positive result until 7 months after exposure? Has it changed that much since my yearly?
  • tongun18

    Posts: 593

    Oct 28, 2010 5:54 PM GMT
    kdsbil saidI thought a test wouldn't show a positive result until 7 months after exposure? Has it changed that much since my yearly?


    HIV is diagnosed when antibodies to the virus are detected in the blood. The tests do not look for the virus itself, they look for the immune system's response to the virus.

    It can take as little as 2 weeks or as long as 6 months from the time you become infected with HIV for the antibodies to be detected in your blood. This is commonly called the "window period", or seroconversion period. During the window period, you are contagious and can spread the virus to others. If you think you have been exposed to HIV but you test negative for it, you should be tested again 6 months later.
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:13 PM GMT
    tongun18 said
    kdsbil saidI thought a test wouldn't show a positive result until 7 months after exposure? Has it changed that much since my yearly?


    HIV is diagnosed when antibodies to the virus are detected in the blood. The tests do not look for the virus itself, they look for the immune system's response to the virus.

    It can take as little as 2 weeks or as long as 6 months from the time you become infected with HIV for the antibodies to be detected in your blood. This is commonly called the "window period", or seroconversion period. During the window period, you are contagious and can spread the virus to others. If you think you have been exposed to HIV but you test negative for it, you should be tested again 6 months later.


    furthermore, if you could track the person in any way (registered phone no. etc.)
    and if the person knew and failed to disclose his status, then that is legally a crime that can be prosecuted.

    quite a scare and such a lesson to learn from, however, from medical standpoint, people who lives with HIV are now able to have close of a normal life with a life span of upto 20-40 years varying from treatments and programs.

    There's even one study that shows it can be prevented from being contracted if certain treatment and programs were applied early on or before engaging with someone HIV+
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:13 PM GMT
    I understand I'm at a low risk, but the risk is still there and I'm nervous. He may have been generous in paying for the initial PEP, but you are sympathising with a man that withheld information about his status from me... I understand there is always a risk but if the partner knows he should let it be known. I also didn't stalk him, I only contacted him once about the PEP. If he hadn't changed his number I would have filled out the paperwork for medication reimbursment when my insurance goes through. In mass we have a public are called Masshealth that would do that within 10 days of application.

    Also, I totally agree that these my just be my body creating these symptoms and your reinforcment of the idea has definitely made me feel a bit better. But, where the symptoms are usually easily misinterpreted, you can understand my worry. It is the change of seasons here and my friend said my night sweat may be attributed to that, the temperature has been fluxuating where I am.

    I also understand I need testing. I'm scared to do so until my insurance kicks in. If I test + and have no insurance, I'll be in an even worse position than I am in now. I figure I should receive my confirmation letter within a week or so. I was told to be tested monthly for four months, and I plan on doing so if my preliminary test comes back negative. According to a friend of mine, whom is positive, they now offer viral tests called a rapid test. It is supposedly accurate at 25 days, so that's going to be the first test I get. They offer it at the weekly free clinic in my city, at least according to my google search.

    I appreciate the help and advice.
    I also don't have many gay friends to talk to about this. Does this type of situation happen all the time? Has anybody else here seen symptoms and tested negative?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:14 PM GMT
    kdsbil saidI thought a test wouldn't show a positive result until 7 months after exposure? Has it changed that much since my yearly?


    some windows only takes upto 3 months to be detected... more sophisticated ones are even lesser
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:19 PM GMT
    HIVscared saidI understand I'm at a low risk, but the risk is still there and I'm nervous. He may have been generous in paying for the initial PEP, but you are sympathising with a man that withheld information about his status from me... I understand there is always a risk but if the partner knows he should let it be known. I also didn't stalk him, I only contacted him once about the PEP. If he hadn't changed his number I would have filled out the paperwork for medication reimbursment when my insurance goes through. In mass we have a public are called Masshealth that would do that within 10 days of application.

    Also, I totally agree that these my just be my body creating these symptoms and your reinforcment of the idea has definitely made me feel a bit better. But, where the symptoms are usually easily misinterpreted, you can understand my worry. It is the change of seasons here and my friend said my night sweat may be attributed to that, the temperature has been fluxuating where I am.

    I also understand I need testing. I'm scared to do so until my insurance kicks in. If I test + and have no insurance, I'll be in an even worse position than I am in now. I figure I should receive my confirmation letter within a week or so. I was told to be tested monthly for four months, and I plan on doing so if my preliminary test comes back negative. According to a friend of mine, whom is positive, they now offer viral tests called a rapid test. It is supposedly accurate at 25 days, so that's going to be the first test I get. They offer it at the weekly free clinic in my city, at least according to my google search.

    I appreciate the help and advice.
    I also don't have many gay friends to talk to about this. Does this type of situation happen all the time? Has anybody else here seen symptoms and tested negative?




    1. you can get anonymous test from local clinics
    2. most T-Cells decline over years to actually manifest HIV+'s physical deterioration, UNLESS, you're already immuno-compromised (have and existing immune system disease).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:26 PM GMT
    HIVscared saidAccording to a friend of mine, whom is positive, they now offer viral tests called a rapid test. It is supposedly accurate at 25 days, so that's going to be the first test I get. They offer it at the weekly free clinic in my city, at least according to my google search.

    There is indeed a test that "looks back" about 3 weeks. Other tests look back about 3 to 6 months.

    The critical thing is that you have a test. If you are poz the sooner you begin treatment the better. If you are neg, you have dodged the bullet. And know not to put yourself at risk again.

    So what are you waiting for?
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    The critical thing is that you have a test. If you are poz the sooner you begin treatment the better. If you are neg, you have dodged the bullet. And know not to put yourself at risk again.

    So what are you waiting for?


    I'm really hoping I dodged the bullet, but in the chance that I may not have been so lucky I would like to get the test done after my Masshealth is confirmed. If I test negative it's no big deal, if pos I would rather be prepared with some insurance so I can make moves. It is also the Halloween season, I want to make sure I enjoy the holiday as it is my favorite day of the year. This may or may not be my last - holiday and I want to take it without any problems. The clinic is only open on Tuesday so I could have gone slightly before the three week mark or skip it an extra week, enjoy my holiday, and have a more accurate result the Tuesday following
  • tongun18

    Posts: 593

    Oct 28, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    HIVscared said
    I also don't have many gay friends to talk to about this. Does this type of situation happen all the time? Has anybody else here seen symptoms and tested negative?



    The situation happens far more often than it should. To my knowledge, I have never been exposed. I for sure have never had to deal with a scare but I do get tested once every 3-4 months (for all STDs) to make sure. And to be honest, even though I've always come up clean and I always take the proper precautions, I do get a little nervous when the results come around.

    I know it's difficult but try to relax and not allow yourself to get too stressed out, it serves no purpose and just makes things worse. No matter what I'm sure you'll be ok man.

    If you can, have your friend go with you to get tested, he can be there to help you through it.

    Make sure you take better care in the future!
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:40 PM GMT
    [quote] It can take as be tested again 6
    furthermore, if you could track the person in any way (registered phone no. etc.)
    and if the person knew and failed to disclose his status, then that is legally a crime that can be prosecuted.
    [/quote]

    I already looked into that. I could find him without a problem, it just may take a few days. The only reason I won't do it is because it would then be a public record. I don't want my dirty laundry aired. My opinion may change depending on the outcome of the situation, however.
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    Oct 28, 2010 9:45 PM GMT
    tongun18 said I do get a little nervous when the results come around.

    I know it's difficult but try to relax and not allow yourself to get too stressed out, it serves no purpose and just makes things worse. No matter what I'm sure you'll be ok man.

    If you can, have your friend go with you to get tested, he can be there to help you through it.

    Make sure you take better care in the future!


    Thanks for your support. I hope it's just nerves. I'm "glad" I'm not alone... Though I wish this didn't happen so often. I have definitely learned a lesson... There is no "safe sex" just "safer sex"
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Oct 29, 2010 11:00 AM GMT
    If you don't calm down, which I know is difficult. You are going to stress yourself out about it and have an early heart attack.
    Get the test. Keep off the cock for awhile.
  • chapguy123

    Posts: 25

    Oct 29, 2010 9:16 PM GMT
    Go to a free clinic and ask them for a list of references for help. They could probably find you options to help those with little to no money.
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    Oct 29, 2010 9:28 PM GMT
    HIVscared said
    Art_Deco said
    The critical thing is that you have a test. If you are poz the sooner you begin treatment the better. If you are neg, you have dodged the bullet. And know not to put yourself at risk again.

    So what are you waiting for?

    I'm really hoping I dodged the bullet, but in the chance that I may not have been so lucky I would like to get the test done after my Masshealth is confirmed.

    And when will that be?
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    Oct 30, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    what a fraqing freek...you had safe sex then you bribe him to pay you $500. IF you dont know how HIV is transmitted DONT HAVE SEX!!!!!
    icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 30, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    sfinboston saidwhat a fraqing freek...you had safe sex then you bribe him to pay you $500. IF you dont know how HIV is transmitted DONT HAVE SEX!!!!!


    I feel that is uncalled for. I know how it is transmitted all too well. I know condoms are usually an effective preventative method, but where I had not supplied the condom it makes me nervous.

    I also know you are at no risk kissing, however, french kissing does come with a small risk and seeing as I have no insurance currently, due to the bad economy, I haven't been to the dentist in a while and my oral health may not be in tact. If his oral health was also bad he couldhave bled a small amount. That risk,though crazy, is there.

    Now with there being a small risk and my development of lymph nodes, I'd say I'm understandably nervous.

    Furthermore, I did not bribe him. I asked him when I found out the price of the PEP. With the window period being so small, I had no other choice. I thanked him fully, though he put me in the situation... It was still a nice thing to do. That's why I would have submitted paperwork for refund to his debit card.

    I'm not crazy, just nervous.
    how would you feel if someone knowingly withheld their positive status and proceeded to hace sex with you, you'd freak the fuck out too.
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    Oct 30, 2010 8:39 AM GMT
    chapguy123 saidGo to a free clinic and ask them for a list of references for help. They could probably find you options to help those with little to no money.


    That's a great idea. I actually did a little researching on my own. Boston actually seems to have a few programs to help with the situation, if it does in fact arrive (which, I obviously hope it doesn't.) I'm sure if I ask the clinic they would have a great list of programs I have yet to read about.
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    Nov 03, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    so far good news. Tested at 4 weeks and 5 days and got negative. The man who did it said he thinks I'll be fine! Thank gosh. He also said PEP is somewhat effective even if you only take half of it!
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    Nov 03, 2010 2:55 AM GMT
    I thanked him fully, though he put me in the situation... It was still a nice thing to do. That's why I would have submitted paperwork for refund to his debit card.

    NO YOU PUT YOUR SELF IN THAT SITUATION....YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED BEFORE YOU HAD SEX!!!!! JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR AT THE PERSON WHO REALLY PUT YOU IN THIS SITUATION....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2010 7:06 AM GMT
    HIVscared saidso far good news. Tested at 4 weeks and 5 days and got negative. The man who did it said he thinks I'll be fine! Thank gosh. He also said PEP is somewhat effective even if you only take half of it!


    So your lymphs are swollen for another reason. You will go and get tests for other sexually transmitted diseases as soon as your medical kicks in, right?

    ...and please next time ask the guy and offer your own status. What you went through was painful panic *so a hug for that*.
    I do think the HIV poz guy should have told you, but asking is your responsibility.

    -Doug