First Date

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 5:17 AM GMT
    So, guys I need your advise, and fairly new to the world of gay dating. I had my first date today with a guy. He is 38. Prior to the date, we spoke on the phone for about 1 hour; we seemed to connect in a couple areas, etc. We ended the phone conversation very light and he mentioned that maybe this past Sunday we could meet, I said that I would be in his area this past Sunday and would give him a call since there is a specialty shop that I needed to go to.

    Anyway, his city is about 25 minutes from my city. I went up there around 3:30 p.m. on Sunday and gave him a call. When I arrived to his city he then said he could not meet me because he was working from home, and that would love to but would call be in a few hours. This of course, gave me a warning flag in my gut. Anyway, headed back down south to my city and I never got a call from him, so, that evening I was ready to write him off, as a flake.

    On Monday, I get an email apologizing that he had too much to do and would love to meet again. This time I took the initiative of selecting a restaurant, and the time, between our two cities, but said I was too busy until today to meet. I was not going to drive back to his city. He responded and agreed that he would meet me at the restaurant that I had chosen and the time.

    Today, prior to meeting him he left me a voice message to call him to see if I was still going to make it. I call him back that was on my way for our dinner date was at 6:30 p.m., I was calling him back at 6:05p.m., about 15 minutes later when I was in the expressway, he calls me back of how far I was since he arrived at the restaurant. This gave me another signal.

    As soon as I arrived, we shook hand and he said if we could go next door to the coffee shop because he needed some coffee. I said that would be fine, we then proceeded to the restaurant. We then order our meals and went Dutch. He wanted to pay for my meal, but I advised him that it was okay.

    During the conversation, it was sort of forceful, answer and question, where did you grew up, it was not fluid…there were periods of silence, at times I was doing more of the conversation…he then proceeded to discuss his past two relationships and insult these (i.e. aswhosles)…anyway, he asked me about mine..since I just came out about 3 years and had moved a lot because of consulting I told him I had not had any serious relationship…it was then like I felt (he did not say this- but had this impression) that I was being judged…sort of well this guy is fairly new, might not want to get involved.

    Although, the restaurant had not closed, he said if I was done with my meal, which I was because he wanted to walk and chat, anyway we went outside, and since it was getting cold I told him that I wanted to get some tea from the coffee shop, he said it was okay.

    We then sat down and started talking more since their were some chairs next to the coffee shop… he then talked about his job, his relocation, his ex-boyfriend etc….but felt all along as though he wanted to do something else. I think he was definitely attractive, but the idea of hooking up was not in my mind, his legs kept jittering he certainly was not on drugs…I think he is definitely more ADD. At times, I felt his view points and discussion were all over the place, and not positive. He then said he had to do some work, and would be in touch I said since I did not know the area I did not know what else to do in the in between cities…so in my mind if he really wanted to do something after the meal, he could have researched what we could have done, after all he flaked on me on Sunday, and now were I had planned this the least he could have done is what to do after the date…right? Anyway, he parked next across me….I swear it was the fastest I seen someone get out of a parking lot…LOL..

    Anyway, I think it was a good experience and not planning to take it further if he contact me…we are definitely not a match.

    So guys what are your thoughts? Anything I could have done better, next time?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 5:21 AM GMT
    Actually, you did great in my opinion. Don't let anyone rush you to bed which was obviously on HIS mind. Hold your ground until you're ready.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    bigeasydude saidActually, you did great in my opinion. Don't let anyone rush you to bed which was obviously on HIS mind. Hold your ground until you're ready.


    Thanks, this is all new to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    Try to break down your sentences into logical sentences next time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Doesn't sound like it went well, I think you should try and find someone else to date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    bigeasydude saidActually, you did great in my opinion. Don't let anyone rush you to bed which was obviously on HIS mind. Hold your ground until you're ready.


    I didn't think his story sounded like the other guy wanted to hook up at all. It sounds like the other guy was not enjoying the date, and wanted to end it. Uombroca said "At times, I felt his view points and discussion were all over the place, and not positive. He then said he had to do some work, and would be in touch...". Sounds like the guy didn't want to do anything after the meal except end the date.

    I doubt this guy will call back. Sounds like neither of you were interested in the other. Ah well, if he would have bored you anyway with blabber about his horrible ex's, he would have sucked as a person and you'd end up wasting your time getting to know him. At least you're finding out on the first date he's a flake and not interesting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    Thanks, yes, I felt the same way.